AIBU to feel scammed by breastfeeding

[PickledElectricity]

Kind of joking, kind of not.

I breastfed my DS until he was 19 months old (he's now 2) and despite this he's had every bug going at nursery, is allergic to nuts and now seems to have hay fever! I'm gutted as he loves to be outside and is now sneezing, congested, has puffy red eyes and a runny nose.

Where are the miracle benefits I was promised?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad I did it, it was lovely for bonding and saved my life and sanity in the middle of the night, and tbh I am a very lazy person and couldn't face washing and sterilising bottles every single day.

The benefits of breastfeeding are often overstated. The science behind breastfeeding research when controlling for things like parental level of education, social class etc. make the benefits minimal compared with formula.
Any research into the benefits of formula are inevitably hidden/banned in the anti-formula agenda.
Point to any random person aged over 5 and tell me whether they were BF or FF. You can’t tell.

Yep- first born DD had tongue tie and didn't latch properly, so formula fed- barely been sick at all at nearly 11. DS champion breastfeeder- dairy allergy, gets everything going 😆fgs

Also all the fat stuck stubbornly to my thighs for 4 years years while breastfeeding- only came off when I stopped

It’s not a medical cure for everything for the rest of life.

on a societal level it improves health and decreases the chances of certain things but on an individual level there are no miracles or promises.

That’s not why they ask that question…. breast feeding affects breast density and it can be harder to detect abnormalities on mammograms . The reduction in risk of BC is about 4-5% for each year of BF which is currently a very tiny percentage of women in the Uk( only about 0.5% feed for this long) ….apart from ,very interestingly, those with eg. the BRAC1 gene where the risk reduction is a lot more significant. It reduces risk of certain types of BC ( eg. HR negative and HER2 positive) but not others . Edited for clarity.

I always think this OP. DD1 was EBF as she was a bottle refuser and she got every illness going at nursery. Better now she’s at school
thank god, but DD2 is also EBF and gets every illness her sister comes into contact with at school!! My mum combi fed both me and DB and he has allergies but I don’t.

Same here

I imagine the doctor’s prescription of steroids was based on a vast knowledge base and evaluation of the benefits and risks of steroids for your would-be premature child with underdeveloped lungs. I do agree they should have mentioned it though but think of how often we’re prescribed stuff and not told the often extensive risks.

I know it's all anecdotal but some of the longest breastfed kids I know are also the sickliest. DD was bf for six weeks then combi then ff from 9 weeks as I just couldn't make it bloody work. She's in year 1 and hasn't had a day off since she started school.

I see what you mean OP, and nursery bugs are a fucking pain in the arse!

But breastfeeding isn't supposed to protect your child from all illnesses and them never to fall ill. The benefits of breastfeeding are:

• passing on antibodies that help fight illnesses
• build a rich and varied microbiome in their guts
• provide all the nutrients tailored to their exact needs at all times
• breastfed babies are less likely to be overweight or obese and less prone to diabetes later in life
• it reduces the risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancers for the breastfeeding mums

It doesn't mean breastfed babies never fall ill or women who breastfed never have those cancers, this is just risks and benefits calculated over large populations 😉

Same !! 😭 currently breastfeeding DS2, he's only 3 weeks and the cluster feeding has me STARVING. I had foolishly forgot how tiring it is doing all the night feeds 😵‍💫

I did so much research and taking everything into account I thought the benefits weren't huge. But there's new science coming out all of the time, especially around gut health.

I'd rather go with the natural option than a UPF any day.

What?! Again, anedoctical. I breastfed my 1st for 2 years and although was reeeeaaaaally attached to me for a long time, now daddy's is definitely the favoured parent (child is 4) and he does most of the bedtimes.

I think there's obviously a lot of misinformation about breastfeeding, it's not a miracle cure all. Also, you have no comparison - maybe he would've been worse with formula, you have no way of knowing. Information is based on averages across thousands of babies, that doesn't mean your child will be 100%.

Getting bugs from nursery is normal. You can pass on antibodies through your breast milk. If there's something going round at nursery, and you haven't been exposed to it, then you don't have the antibodies to pass on to your child. If your child is exposed to stuff that you haven't been, like at nursery, then breastfeeding is irrelevant.

Same here, I hold onto fat during breastfeeding, I don't shed at all like I was told I would. I eat much much more than during pregnancy and have zeeeeeero energy for exercising (and fuck dieting anyway!).

Breastfed my first for 3 years, but he was an easy baby to feed on the go as he liked the baby carrier. Had terrible colic for 3 months though. Kept me very slim, too thin looking back.
Second baby struggled with latch and I gave up expressing after a few weeks, as she only gained weight when we added formula. Oddly her colic stopped when she went onto formula! And she went from waking every 2 hours to sleeping 4-5 hours between bottles, which saved my sanity.

Neither have any allergies so far.

DDs were each breastfed until 3.5 years and have each had max 2 sick days per academic year, some years none (eldest is Year 2 now). Nothing serious enough to ever need hospital or even a GP visit (only go to GP for developmental checks and vaccinations). No allergies. DDs are fairly equally attached to me and DH (we often take one child each). I've never had any kind of cancer.

With DD1 I went down to a dress size smaller than pre-preg weight when breastfeeding, with DD2 I've put on weight (but I know full well it's down to not doing fitness videos during nap time and late night snacking, so I could lose it if I put the effort in).

@Fi970 but that’s the problem when we blindly trust medical professionals. The doctors who prescribed things like thalidomide had years of experience. Doctors are not all knowing beings, they are flawed like the rest of us. If the midwife knew about the (extensive btw) research then so did the doctor, he just didn’t feel the need to share it with me

I formula fed and my now teenager has no allergies or intolerances. Me and my brother were both formula fed and again no allergies or other issues 🤷‍♀️

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9972148/
it definitely helps in the prevention of breast cancer. Why are you minimising it?

I breastfed both of mine until around 18 months, and between them they have eczema, asthma, an allergy to cashew nuts, and incredibly picky eating habits. I understand that the benefits of breastfeeding can be tracked on a population level but it's not a cure-all.

I don't regret breastfeeding though, it worked pretty easily for me especially with DC2 and it was cheap, and I did lose the baby weight quickly both times and then put it back on again plus another stone because I carried on eating like I was EBF a newborn for about a year after I wasn't

I don’t think enough is understood about how bf affects moods/ mental health. For me, I spent three times as long breastfeeding as I did pregnant and yet all you hear about is peri natal mh problems. Even when I got sent to a psychiatrist I had to keep reminding them that even though I was 2 years post partum, I was still bf and I could feel my hormones were all over the place.
Although I am glad in ways that I did it, I was not myself when I was bf. I probably would have been better off at least combi feeding. It was too much pressure and I was fixated on keeping it up, I can’t even remember why.
I had very little to no support with it, I was mortified trying to feed in public and though I do have fond memories, it was also one of the most stressful things I’ve ever been through and probably the loneliest time of life (tbf in part this was during COVID too).
There are very few facilities for bf where I’m from, even in the children’s hospital where I had to bring dd regularly from new born to a year, they had me feed in a dark stairwell with people coming up and down the stairs.
There are obviously benefits to bf and some women have a very positive experience of it, but many don’t. I think anyone advising about bf needs to get real about the practical realities of what is actually like versus the benefits it’s known to have.

I'm in my 30's and my mum always says this. I was exclusively BF and have bad allergies and an autoimmune problem. My husband was FF and is the opposite.

She also feels scammed 😂

I don't doubt it's incredibly beneficial after all the studies but this isn't the first time i've heard this.

I wonder if there’s a threshold where they have to explain the risks eg I recall when taking Roaccutane for acne I had to do a pregnancy test beforehand and it was repeatedly stressed that I cannot get pregnant and explained why.

All my FF friends and my husband is the same!

I was exclusively BF and am riddled with allergies and an autoimmune problem. Does make you wonder! I have heard an interesting theory but would never say it on here for fear of being too controversial 😂