AIBU to feel scammed by breastfeeding

[PickledElectricity]

Kind of joking, kind of not.

I breastfed my DS until he was 19 months old (he's now 2) and despite this he's had every bug going at nursery, is allergic to nuts and now seems to have hay fever! I'm gutted as he loves to be outside and is now sneezing, congested, has puffy red eyes and a runny nose.

Where are the miracle benefits I was promised?!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad I did it, it was lovely for bonding and saved my life and sanity in the middle of the night, and tbh I am a very lazy person and couldn't face washing and sterilising bottles every single day.

100000% agree with this!

I have had hayfever all my adult life and my only breastfed child is the only one to have developed hayfever, horrendous eczema and allergic rhinitis eventually leading to a need for turbinate reduction. Multiple sick days a year.

My formula fed babies living in exact same house with same food and washing powder.. not one allergy between them and not one single attendance at doctor from baby age to early twenties and counting.

People will shriek at those who dare to say it but there needs to be research into allergies that can be developed from breastmilk and the antibodies passed from mum. It's unfair to those kids not to.

I think on an individual level breastfeeding makes bugger all difference to anything.

Joining the sample with DD who was formula fed from day 1 (she got the teeniest bit of colostrum). Honestly, the midwives when I was pregnant had me convinced that if I didn't breastfeed, she'd be ill all the time and behind in school and obese and allergic to everything.

She is 11 now and hasn't inherited my nut allergy or hay fever, she's never ill, very slim, too intelligent for me to keep up with (sitting her first GCSE next year) and I just have to question why I spent so much time as an exhausted, terrified new mum, beating myself up for my body not being able to breastfeed?

The research shows that breastfeeding does seem to protect against allergic rhinitis including hayfever @blubberyboo.

Not sure if they’ve looked exclusively at cases where the mother has hayfever herself though.

I hadn’t thought about that.
Oldest 2 have the same dad.
So one healthy, one with asthma and psoriasis.

I have 3 DC and only managed to feed the middle one for longer than 2wks (thanks to severe mastitis with DD, DS1 didn’t persevere with it as was young and no support). DS2, fed him for 7 months and he was definitely my sickliest child.

The statistics for the benefits of breastfeeding are on a population level, not individual cases.
And the environmental impact of formula feeding isn't talked about much I find. The dairy industry, the amount of plastic used in the packaging and the bottles themselves must have a huge impact. I'd say for that reason alone breastfeeding isn't a con!

I think they way breastfeeding is 'sold' is absolutely shameful - the pressure is immense. Women should only do it because they want to. So many women end up beside themselves if they can't breastfeed, imagining all sorts and feeling like they've failed at being a mother.

My bottle fed DC has no allergies either, is fit ans healthly, energetic and loved. I was a bottle fed baby, I'm rarely ever ill and have a good relationship with my mum.

Mine were all breastfed - few childhood illnesses, no allergies. I was just too lazy and disorganised to sterilize all those bottles and the nappies weren't really dirty.

OP YANBU as someone who was unable to breast feed I was devastated that I’d failed my baby and they would be sickly and unintelligent and we wouldn’t bond etc. I literally cried for weeks.

Well it's not guaranteed to fend of every illness. Mine doesn't get ill very often though, and still breastfeeds at 2. Antibiotics in infancy, or not getting the gut biome you need during birth, are a major cause of allergies. The hospitals like to give them as a precaution but they aren't looking into the lifelong conditions it leads to. I refused the strep test for this reason. Women need to research this. Can you think of any other time you would take antibiotics as a prophylactic?

You say that, but I've only ever seen pressure go the other way, and people slamming breastfeeding. Feeding a toddler is seen by society as an indulgence. Whenever breastfeeding is mentioned in the media it's always mentioned with the idea that people who breastfeed or promote breastfeeding are doing it to make others feel bad. Midwives promote breastfeeding because it's cheaper, easier on the Mum, and contains antibodies. That is just fact. If someone takes that information and feels like they are trying to be shamed then that's on them.

Why should poorer people here spend all their money on formula when they can be shown the benefits of breastfeeding? Promoting breastfeeding in developing countries literally saves lives, especially after Nestle went and decimated breastfeeding in these places and killed babies as a result.

There are no miracle benefits. That's all bollocks and amongst the many reasons why I didn't bother with breastfeeding.

My children were all formula fed, as was I and as was DH. None of us have any allergies.

So many benefits, not to mention the bond with your baby. Breastmilk and what your b.ody does is so amazing! Have you actually read up on anything of this because it should blow your mind. Not to mention is easy (once established) and free. YABVVVVVU. Why would you feed your baby manufacturered formula by choice. My DC is almost four and only ever had a cold.

No, that just means you picked a shit partner to be the dad.

Well at least you’ve convinced yourself so you don’t have to feel guilty about not even bothering 😆

My two, now teenage DS, were formula fed (I longed to BF and was unable to) and have no allergies. Almost never get sick. Not even as babies, hardly even a sniffle.

Less likely does not equal guaranteed - your DC were unlucky to be the exception rather than the rule.

BF my DC - and I did snap back in my jeans but not for months, one has eczema but I didn’t feel scammed.

DH was in demand as an involved and hands on dad, we both bonded with our DC and we all found it easy being able to feed or soothe baby while on the move (we travelled a lot as well) etc. and my DC rarely had colds and bugs despite being in childcare settings.

Oh, OP that must be frustrating. Of course though, some things are just down to genetics, etc. I BF my son for nearly 3 years and the worst he's had is a runny nose and cough. We've been lucky so far!

She’s said it does, she explained that’s not why they ask that question. They’re not going to ask it and then say, “oh you did breastfeed? Excellent. This lump probably isn’t cancer then.”

It’s not minimising to give a realistic overview, especially as statistics are notoriously misunderstood on here…

Women don’t need to feel guilty for not breastfeeding. Come on. Let’s not start that bollocks.

For individual babies, breastfeeding or formula makes no difference; you have to look at whole populations to see any benefits from breastfeeding. Within families, outcomes are identical or near identical, with formula fed siblings often being healthier just by chance. Socioeconomic advantages are much much more influential on outcomes.

You do like to lay blame at women’s feet don’t you?

Oh bore off

That Nestle story is as old as the hills. Poor people also have a right to make choices about infant feeding, and that includes the right to safe drinking water and formula.