Things only frequently heard on Mumsnet (lighthearted)

[Deathofaunicorn]

Just thinking of things people have posted that I've heard countless times!

Everyone's friends in their social circle didn't have their first baby until the age of 42/43.

Their Grandma had her last baby at the age of 48.

Night of passion with their dp within 6 seconds of meeting, they moved in that night and never left and now they're celebrating 75 years of marriage.

Grandma who smoked 200 cigarettes a day, used chip fat on their face and had beautiful, line free skin at the age of 120.

DP has a hobby which means they're out most evenings and every weekend. Has a female colleague 25 years younger who he has a mutual attraction with and they text each other all day long.

Their DD/DS is 6'7, model looks, eats 10 packs of lard a day yet doesn't gain an ounce.

Has anyone else seen things like this frequently posted?

I only ever see social class mentioned on here, no one I know ever talks about it in real life.

Agree! Forgot about the magical chicken which can feed a family of 8 for a week.

and ‘massive salad’

LTB. Maybe they should though!

I'm more surprised that, with a population of nearly 70 million people, some people really can't imagine that they way they live their life isn't the way everyone else lives their's.

I'm an 'only on MN' person because I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting a visitor or answer a call from an unknown number.

But you wouldn't know that if you knew because I generally don't tell people.

My grandma had her only child at 44 in 1950.

But why would anyone know that?

I don't stuff myself over Christmas and am craving salad by Boxing Day having only eaten 'Christmas food' from Christmas Eve.

I don’t have a snack cupboard, I don't like chocolate and I don't eat huge amounts of food. And no, I'm not 'tempted' by cake if I go out for a coffee. I don't even consider it.

I've been nc with my mother for 13 years due to abuse.

In reality, I do know other people who are NC with family, don't answer the door, don't eat stupid amounts of food and had children in their 40s in real life. As well as the opposite.

Some of these things are 'only on MN' because they're things people tend not to share in real life.

Everyone 'has anxiety' if anything makes them feel anxious.

Someone lives "rent free in your head". I've never come across that phrase before. It makes no sense to me.

Everyone is NC with their mother in law over the slightest incident, like they held their newborn baby for 3 seconds too long.

People thinking "ghosting and blocking" is a satisfactory way to deal with any disagreement with a long-standing friend/relative. Or a few years ago it was "say you've got Covid! "

What surprises me most is how many awful men there are, who are lazy, selfish, reluctant to parent, reluctant to do basics.
Another poor woman on a thread today, with some awful partner. It's depressing.

That's not just on MN. I think it can be an apt phrase sometimes!

Right. I've never heard it before. The dictionary says it's indicative that you have an obsessive disorder. I guess it's just used wrongly to make a point.

Not sure if this counts as light-hearted ... cutting off someone, including family for the tiniest reason or not going out of your way for anyone. Some of the threads in the last few days have been wild.

I think it's funny how people advise all sorts of convoluted, weird lies instead of just having a conversation.

Social class.

Being posh 😂

MN is odd. It feels like pretence.

The amount of posters who say they are above average in looks just can’t be true. Unless for some reason attractive people happen to like hanging out on here. Where no one can see you.

It could make sense... you've got one person like me dragging the average for the population WAY down

Everyone is either on six figure salaries or in poverty. Where are all the people in between who don't have thousands to spend on holidays, but can also afford to replace a washing machine if it goes wrong without it being a budget issue?

I took it to mean "don't let someone get to you when they're almost certainly not thinking/ caring about you "

That you have a drink problem if you want a alcoholic drink.
The angst over perfectly usual and non harmful food. I do think that there's a lot of health/death anxiety that posters think they have control over, when health is a largely a matter of luck.
The lack of enthusiasm about social events, family weddings, holidays. I think a lot on here live to work.
Working as many hours as you can, rather than getting a balance and having time with your under six year olds.
There's a lot of strangeness about spending, rather than hoarding money.
I'd be here all day describing the difference in family relationships.

Most of my social circle did have babies in their 40s, so I guess u am a stereotype!!! It’s quite common here though judging by parents at pick up and drop off.

Men doing nothing is certainly not a thing here. Maybe it’s because everybody had babies later so both parents have established careers so they both have to split the other stuff!!!

There is a lot of MIL hate, which I don’t see in my social group, I guess those who are happy don’t tend to post.

I’ve not known any of my friends who have stayed in a ‘baby bubble’ in bed for weeks without visitors or leaving the house. We had a lot of pub visits, park walks, etc., maybe that’s an age thing too!!

We all love weddings and birthdays!!

Slightly scented sanitary towels giving everyone extreme thrush. Women being called anti feminist for shaving their pubic area and armpits, wearing make up or making an effort with their appearance. No bleach or cleaning products down the toilet.

"We live rurally"

Oh, right.

Grandma who smoked 200 cigarettes a day, used chip fat on their face and had beautiful, line free skin at the age of 120

Haha this made me cackle. Yes, I've seen this several times: "my granny is 102 and doesnt have a single line or wrinkle on her face".

Sure.