Gender and pronouns

[Wyki]

Before I start, the daily mail and other papers can all fuck off

I’m prepared to be flamed for this as I’ve been here long enough to know how it all works but….

aibu to tell my son he can’t have his partner over any more

It’s a new relationship. My son is 21 and the new partner is 18

He barely works and is consequently on a low salary however he does help me with childcare (that I pay a minimal amount for)

the new partner is a very petite pink haired “girl” that does ballet and dance but uses the pronoun he/him

my 11 year old daughter is finding it confusing and asked if her brother is gay. I replied with “no because the partner is very feminine and is a girl despite the pronouns” (I couldn’t care less if he was gay, sexuality isn’t important)

So am I being unreasonable in saying the partner doesn’t come over as it’s just too weird and I don’t want that example being set for my daughter

Innit

A good bit of hypocrisy from you.

Perhaps you should spend less time criticising gender critical feminists, who have actually thought this stuff through in full, and more time thinking it through in full yourself.

There is absolutely nothing kind, to anyone, about pretending that some people are the opposite sex to the one they actually are.

I just cannot understand how the left-leaning contingent abandoned so many of their cornerstones for this movement.

Scientific facts? Suddenly irrelevant as we're all 'bigots' for not pretending men can be women.

Women's consent? Totally unimportant compared to giving men what they want.

Acceotance of gender non-conformity? Goes out the window as wanting to dress in a feminine way suddenly makes a man a woman.

What happened here?

Bloody hell that's a high horse you're on. Are gender critical feminists above reproach? There's one above who says the son's partner is a twisted minded fucked up entitled little cunt just because of the pronouns thing!

There’s everything unkind about telling another person that you understand their reality better than they understand it themselves . Avoiding doing this is a basic principle of how to be a decent person.

I'm not telling anyone I understand or don't understand their reality.

Their reality isn't terribly relevant to anyone else. Unfortunately for them, we live in a society where everyone has to respect the same common rules.

We are now in a situation where trans people have come to expect that other people, particularly women, will prioritise their "reality" over our own rights and needs. And yet they're still not happy because they know deep down that nobody actually thinks they are the opposite sex, and because they have been encouraged to believe that anyone stating the bloody bleeding obvious (that they have not changed sex) hates them and wishes they were dead.

It would have been far kinder to just tell trans people that there is no right or wrong way to be a woman or a man, but in situations where society distinguishes between men and women on the basis of sex, they belong in the correct sex category. It may also have been helpful to explain to them that nobody actually has a gender identity matching their genitals, that such a thing does not actually exist, and so by not having an identity which matches their genitals they are actually the same as everyone else.

Allowing someone to have main character syndrome helps neither that person nor the rest of society.

I didn't say we are beyond reproach. I said we've given this subject some serious thought, which you by your own admission have not.

We have a problem when we're being asked to prioritise 'their reality' over actual, observable, scientifically objective reality.

Whatever personality descriptors people want to use for themselves, absolutely fine. But their sex doesn't change.

What happened is that the new patriarchy is almost identical to the old patriarchy.

But the new patriarchy is trolling everyone by calling itself progressive and feminist.

I'm not telling anyone I understand or don't understand their reality

it’s exactly what you are doing when you tell trans people what “sex category” they “ belong in” as you put it.

No. Pay attention.

I'm saying that "their reality" is of zero importance to anyone except them.

They don't care about "my reality", do they?

That's why law and policy needs to be made on the basis of objective reality (for example, sex in humans is binary and immutable), not individual people's subjective reality (which in some cases is in direct conflict with objective reality).

No, what sex category someone belongs in is an example of objective reality, as opposed to my reality or your reality or any trans person's reality.

It's not up for debate, any more than the existence of gravity is up for debate.

actual, observable, scientifically objective reality

the problem is that you believe your perspective is “objective”. It isn’t. Another basic tenant of being a decent human is to avoid these kinds of arrogant assumptions.

You have just assumed that YourBestFriend was a feminist and was even critical of gender stereotypes. On what basis?

I think calling the OPs girlfriend a cunt is extremely inappropriate @YourBestFriend

I would seriously ask for that comment to be removed.

Sex is is binary and immutable. Fact.

Scientific illiteracy isn't big or clever.

It might well be someone trying to 'poke the bear' so to speak.

No gender critical person I know would call a gender confused young woman a cunt regardless of the pronouns they choose. It's hardly any wonder young people behave this way when they've had this ideology rammed down their throats for years.

Edited to add when I say behave this way I mean believe that the use of the pronouns is appropriate.

when it comes to understanding who you are and your own experience, your reality is absolutely what matters. . The problem is you want to tell trans people who they are. This is what crosses the boundaries of decency

I've thought through the milk thing, the vomit thing, the lactation fetish thing, and the scat fetish thing not that anyone asked me about that. I didn't think through the miscarriage thing which is fine because I didn't express an opinion on it.

You may have lost touch with reality, you know, the verifiable, tried and tested reality that we all experience, but I’m afraid it’s still there - lurking and waiting for you to touch base again.

A persons sex category is not a choice. It’s a non negotiable. It is not arrogance to state those facts. I’m afraid that confusion may be clouding your judgement.

”Your reality” is not absolutely what matters though. If “my reality” is that I’m the Prime Minister, then I’m just plain wrong.