Finances post baby - how would you split?

[Jeje100]

I would welcome views on this - pre baby/mat leave, DP and I both worked full time and split mortgage/bills equally - he earns double my salary.

I’m going back on roughly 50% of my hours on the same salary (pro-rata’d of course), with DP’s salary still double.

Would you expect DP to now pay say c.75% of all bills, or more given that now I’m earning less each month, I won’t have much left over post settling my share?

What conversations have you had about finances before agreeing to reduce your hours, and who’s decision was it for you to go back part time?

I'd split costs in ratio to your salaries. That's what we've always done. We pay the ratio-ed amounts into our bills account.

Mine, as I wouldn’t want to be away from my DC for longer than those hours

Then I think you need a real open and honest chat, to see what agreement you can come to.

In a healthy relationship you can’t unilaterally decide to reduce you hours and then demand the other person pick up the slack so you are no worse off- it doesn’t work like that.

I recently went back to work after my maternity leave, I’ve gone back part time and that was something both my husband and I wanted & agreed, our finances are combined and so it’s all in one pot and out of one pot.

This.

I'd expect him to pay more but if I was him I'd expect you to discuss it with me before reducing your household income. I'd also not have reduced my hours and compromised my career when I wasn't married but that's by the by.

Yes I agree with this. We have the same system. We have 3 children now though and both work part-time - I work 3 days and he works 4.

Yep, I agree with everyone above too. Definitely needs a conversation to discuss what you are mutually happy with.

As a family, all money coming into the house (both salaries, child benefit, and any other income there may be) should go into one pot.

Out of that, all the bills are paid, all groceries, all childcare, all expenses for the child, petrol, cars etc. If you have enough, then savings for holidays, for emergency funds, for 'the future' also get put away. Then both adults get the same amount of "spending money" for whatever treats they want, and to use to buy presents, etc.

After our son was born, now 2.5yrs we pooled all wages into one amount, paid the joint bills and then split the rest equally. I'm not on mat leave again and when I go back to work initially I'll be on full time hours, however when our eldest starts school I'll cut my hours from 37.5 to 30. However we will still keep the same system.

Would you expect DP to now pay say c.75% of all bills, or more given that now I’m earning less each month, I won’t have much left over post settling my share?

I wouldn’t expect it no because you are choosing to reduce your income. Have you spoke to him about this reduction and working less hours? If he agrees then that’s great but I don’t think it should be expected.

I would pool the money since you're a family. If you don't want to do that, I would spilt based on salaries.

Both adults pay 100% of their salary into a joint account. Mortgage/rent, bills, food, cars, MOTs, petrol, DC's classes, clothes, activities all get paid from this and then an equal, set amount, say £250-£1000 depending on your financial bracket is transferred into each person's individual account to spend on whatever they like for themselves (hobbies, socialising, activities etc).

You have already cut half of your wage out. Your pension contributions will be peanuts too so this will have long term effects for you that will not be the same for your partner. What financial sacrifice is he making?

Thank you for the replies. We did have a discussion about my hours and weren’t in total agreement, but we can cope financially with my reduction and it means I can focus on being a parent as much as possible and not have to pay excessive amounts for childcare. The only issue is that we ideally want to move house which would mean a bigger Mortgage so we’d be more stretched if/when that happens.

What does your DP suggest?

Split bills based on the proportion you contribute to the household income. So if he’s 75% and you’re 25% that’s what you contribute.

Do you plan on getting married, perhaps it would stay full time until then?

If you weren’t in agreement then you can’t expect him to top you up.

And it’s not just up to you whether “we” can cope financially, if you need him to increase the % of the bills he pays then YOU cannot afford it financially.

You’ve made the unilateral decision so if I was him I’d be saying okay, but you’re expected to pay the same as you were before. If you can’t afford to do that then you can’t afford to work part time, simple.

One day maybe, the ball isn’t really in my court with that. But we’ve got a house and a child so I don’t doubt his commitment.

What does it mean that you weren't in total agreement about your hours?

He’d rather we maximise the amount we bring in whilst I was more intent on maximising the time I can spend with our DC

So why do you think he should fund your choices then?

If you can’t afford to contribute as you were before then you can’t afford to be part time.

In that case you definitely need to think carefully about reducing your income and pension!

What did he think should happen - you go back full time and continue to split expenses including childcare 50:50?

Do you own the house together? Could you afford the mortgage alone on your FT salary if you split up?

Oh God...
One born every minute (and I don't mean your baby).
I'd advise him to start fund you don't know about - just in case.

Oh dear.

You both need to have a serious conversation this evening and come go an agreement you’re both happy with. I completely understand wanting to spend time with your child whilst they’re little and I also completely understand bills still have to be paid.

Both of you need to make a compromise here. Your partner should understand that financially it’s do able for you to be able to reduce your hours, save money on childcare costs and whilst baby is still little it is better to be with mum as much as possible.

You need to maybe considering taking more than 50% of your hours so that financially it’s not putting pressure on your home life.

Ideally you should both pay a fair share of your wages into the pot at a percentage. If you’re earning a lot less than DP then no you shouldn’t be paying 50-50.