Finances post baby - how would you split?

[Jeje100]

I would welcome views on this - pre baby/mat leave, DP and I both worked full time and split mortgage/bills equally - he earns double my salary.

I’m going back on roughly 50% of my hours on the same salary (pro-rata’d of course), with DP’s salary still double.

Would you expect DP to now pay say c.75% of all bills, or more given that now I’m earning less each month, I won’t have much left over post settling my share?

I went back to work 3 days a week, my partner earns about 3 times my wage so naturally he was happy to pay the majority of the house bills etc, we also don't put our whole salaries in to the joint account, we each put a set amount in to cover the mortgage and bills, I think it's only fair for them to pay more when your sacrificing your career more to save on child costs

Legalities aside, which I'm sure the OP knew well before she had a baby with him...any sensible person would.....

There are literally dozens and dozens of posts on the relationship board where people haven't given any though to legalities and end up shits creek. It would appear there are plenty of insensible around.

PLEASE think about your pension.

Don't put it off or think that is something to worry about in the future.

You aren't married. So your legal position is much weaker when you split. You won't be entitled to any of his pension.

So let's say he leaves you in ten years time. You will have put almost nothing in your pension in that decade since you are working part time and don't appear bothered about career progression

In that decade, he and his employer will have contributed significant amounts based on a full time salary plus promotions, career progression.

You will have some child support for a few years and some split of the gain in the house but once the kid is 18, you will be on a low income, struggle to rebuild a career because you've not done much in a decade and with a low pension pot. You will be poor in your old age while he will very comfortably off

I'm not being dramatic. This is what happens to women.

With the salary you are earning, you must maximise your pension contributions from it even if it means you have less take home pay now. He should pick up the slack from that.
He should also be contributing to your own private pension fund each month that you are doing the majority of domestic labour in your household.

My other piece of advice is get married - nip down town hall and just do it with two random witnesses. You don't need to spend any money on it beyond the licence fee and registrar fee.

Op, please take @MojoMoon advice.
In your shoes I would not have cut hours of work without discussion.
I suspect you are more financially vulnerable than you realise.

@MojoMoon nails it.

Such a common theme that parenting is exclusively hands on care……in reality for responsible adults a massive part of parenting is providing financially for their children. If it’s not my job as a parent, whose job is it?

Exactly how each couple splits their dual
parenting responsibilities of hands on care and paying for their children to live will vary, but both remain absolutely clearly parenting responsibilities.

All money goes into one account and all bills are paid from there.

Nice for you to focus on being a parent so he can opt out of that responsibility and STILL expect 50:50 financial split eh

"Unilaterally makes the decision" vs "knows fine well other half will not be arsed with any of the parenting".

It's not a decision made in a vacuum in many cases.

I have often thought there should be some kind f mandatory simulation completed before anyone marries/procreates!

I have often thought there should be some kind f mandatory simulation completed before anyone marries/procreates!

Yet still I feel in this case OP would have been "yep done that"....and still gone on to do as they wanted.

No, the common theme is that society doesn't see childcare as work when it absolutely is