AIBU to resent my unemployed sister and her “difficult life”?

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My BIL has a very successful career, so my DSis gave up work 10 years ago before having DC. From the outside, they have a dream life…huge house in a desirable area, multiple luxury holidays a year, two lovely DC at a top private school, and lots of help (cleaners, ironing services, etc.). Both DC are in school, so DSis has most of the day to herself.

Despite this, she constantly complains about how exhausting and stressful her life is - how she’s always “running around like a headless chicken” with no time for anything. She expects sympathy, and never expresses any gratitude for her situation. I’ve never had a clear answer about what she does all day, though she recently let slip she goes to a health spa most days for classes and sauna.

Meanwhile, DH and I both work full-time in demanding and stressful jobs. We earn well, but we’re tied to a big mortgage and can’t afford to drop an income (which I’d love to be able to do, even temporarily). Life feels like a constant stress and struggle.

I know our situation isn’t unique, but it really stings when DSis complains to me and seems to genuinely believe that her life is harder than mine. There does seem to be a theme where, certain people stop working, and their tolerance for stress drops and suddenly the smallest things seem overwhelming?! That seems to be the case with her. AIBU to feel so resentful?

Stay at home parents dont have paid jobs. So yes, it's perfectly fine to call them unemployed!

Well, of course they are. Do you think nurses, teachers, doctors, shop workers, carers etc don’t contribute meaningfully?

Some jobs contribute to society...but to the "universe". I reckon the universe would be just fine if we didn't exist at all. The poster I was answering quite disgustingly suggested that simply having a job was in some way contributing to the "universe" but being a stay at home parent rendered someone nothing more than a "walking uterus".

It’s all relative though isn’t it. Physically she shouldn’t be tired if she’s lounging around in a spa all day but mentally if she’s overly anxious or has something going on you don’t know about, that could make her stressed.

Have a think about what you said though, she doesn’t have a stressful job, you say you and DH do, though you earn well but everything feels like a struggle. Imagine having a stressful job and not earning well, now that’s a struggle. Are you justified in saying you are stressed in that case. There’s always someone worse off who probably thinks you shouldn’t be saying it either

It’s mad how many people are saying ‘she might not be happy, her marriage might be bad, she has no purpose because she has no job’

Maybe she’s happy as Larry just having a moan to you because you are her sister?

Yes it’s a luxury to have a large house, kids in private schools, not having to work but doesn’t mean you’re void of any stresses! Sahm don’t have the luxury of seeing other adults for hours on end a week where they can moan along the way and vent to each other. She’s probably having a vent to you while she can as most of her time is spent around kids or on her own whilst doing all of the house ‘jobs’

I’m guessing as her husband has a great career, she’s no doubt picking up the slack at home more to allow him to focus on work to provide for them all financially?

I love the way you see it.
We need people to think more like this and raise the love vibration and hopefully then we'll be able to conquer the evil people in the world 🫶🏼