Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I ask to be a shareholder too? DH company etc

203 replies

isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:18

Ok I’m going to try to explain this without completely outing myself here, so bear with me.

My DH has a good income, of which 50 percent flows into an investment company be co-owns with his father. This is for apparent company benefits.

I have work full time, but make around half of what my DH makes. The amount flowing into the investment company is equivalent to my entire salary.

my DH pays for all bills/ mortgage/ cars and one child’s education and I pay for our other child’s education , as well as quite a bit of our household expenses. Food shopping etc.

in any case, I am the default parent, I leave work early / work from home when kids are sick and I take care of our household. DH works long hours and I manage my job around his hours.

question is - is it fair for me not to be part of this investment company too ? Seeing as he’s putting so much money into it ( very little wise )? If he decides to leave me one day, I won’t have many rights over the investments that have grown over the years, seeing as his father is part of the company and I’m not. So my DH shares would be diluted.

I make a lot of sacrifices too, to enable my DH to work the hours he needs to, to enable him to even earn the money to put into the investments.

wouldn’t it be fairer if I was also a shareholder ?

thanks for your help!

OP posts:
Gogogo12345 · 10/04/2025 08:22

Do you do any work for this company? If not then no. Sounds a bit " gold diggersish " tbh

Original poster
isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:23

Does it really ?

OP posts:
Original poster
isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:23

No I have my own job and run the house and kids, pretty much single handedly.

OP posts:
HoskinsChoice · 10/04/2025 08:25

isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:23

Does it really ?

Yep. It does!

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 10/04/2025 08:25

If you're married his shares will be a marital asset anyway.

CopperWhite · 10/04/2025 08:26

You’re married, so it’s already half yours. You do more of the work for the family, he does more of the paying for the family so it sounds fairly equal.

What benefit do you want from being named as a shareholder? Do you want to redirect money to spend on something else, Because I don’t think you have the right to do that when your DH is already paying for his responsibilities.

Sofiewoo · 10/04/2025 08:26

If he decides to leave me one day, I won’t have many rights over the investments that have grown over the years

How have you grown the investments?

He co owns the business with his father so you’re never going to be entitled to his father’s share. It would only ever be your DH’s share that would be split.
What difference does it make if your name is in it? It sounds like your DH pays for basically everything anyway so it’s not like he squirrels his high salary away.

Original poster
isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:27

I know but it’s diluted, as he doesn’t own the company by himself. I’m just trying to be smart here, I’m not gold digging. What if he leaves and I have nothing to show for all the work I put into my family. He would not be able to build his empire if I didn’t work and look after the kids and home.

OP posts:
Gremlinsateit · 10/04/2025 08:28

Not gold digging at all. But, depending on the specifics, wouldn’t his shares in the investment co be considered as part of the marital assets in the event of divorce?

Is income from the investments reinvested into the co or does he receive dividends/distributions?

Find out if it’s a trustee company and if so who the beneficiaries are; and consider your wills also.

HuffleMyPuffle · 10/04/2025 08:29

Your children are what you have to show for it

But you're only focusing on the money

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 10/04/2025 08:29

Does he run his business with his father? Or did he inherit his father’s business?
And/or what does his father contribute to the investment company?

i am trying to understand the rationale for the co-ownership of the investment company

HoskinsChoice · 10/04/2025 08:30

isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:27

I know but it’s diluted, as he doesn’t own the company by himself. I’m just trying to be smart here, I’m not gold digging. What if he leaves and I have nothing to show for all the work I put into my family. He would not be able to build his empire if I didn’t work and look after the kids and home.

You've got a full time job, you're perfectly capable of providing for yourself. And why are you so obsessed with him leaving you - you seem more concerned by grabbing his money than the impact on your family? You really are coming across as a gold digger!

Sofiewoo · 10/04/2025 08:30

isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:27

I know but it’s diluted, as he doesn’t own the company by himself. I’m just trying to be smart here, I’m not gold digging. What if he leaves and I have nothing to show for all the work I put into my family. He would not be able to build his empire if I didn’t work and look after the kids and home.

You’re only ever going to be entitled to a share of your DH’s portion of money though.

Something not being in your name doesn’t mean you wouldn’t entitled to a certain amount in the event of a divorce. It doesn’t need to me in your name.

Do you feel you want to withdraw money from it now? Are you planning for a divorce?

DwarfPalmetto · 10/04/2025 08:31

YANBU

Would the company ever pay dividends?

CopperWhite · 10/04/2025 08:31

Why would you have nothing to show for it? You will have half of the marital assets. You aren’t in a marriage to make a profit. That comment really does make you sound like a gold digger. You say he wouldn’t be able to work without you, but your life would be different without him too.

The man is providing well for his family. Do you have reason to believe he wouldn’t provide if you separated?

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 10/04/2025 08:31

I'd pay for legal advice.

crumblingschools · 10/04/2025 08:31

If DH was putting money into a savings account rather than the investment company would people’s answers be different?

Original poster
isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:32

surely I need to make sure I’m protected here ? I don’t understand how this is gold digging at all. If it wasn’t for me, he would not be able to even earn this money !

OP posts:
Guistarry · 10/04/2025 08:32

isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:27

I know but it’s diluted, as he doesn’t own the company by himself. I’m just trying to be smart here, I’m not gold digging. What if he leaves and I have nothing to show for all the work I put into my family. He would not be able to build his empire if I didn’t work and look after the kids and home.

Did you not consider this long ago? It's wildly unlikely him and his dad will be happy to add you in- whether that's right or wrong due to your contributions to the household which has no doubt supported his contribution to the business is irrelevant. As has been said, as you're married you'd have some financial security but it's surprising how people can wangle reorganising assets to minimise.

TasWair · 10/04/2025 08:32

Mad responses on here.
OP does all the work at home, which is a lot! Her unpaid labour has enabled her husband to progress in his career and has probably impeded on her ability to expand her own and make more money.
It's mindblowing to me that a website for women thinks it's completely acceptable for women to be put at a disadvantaged position career wise in order to do the unpaid labour of raising a family and maintaining a home. She spends her whole salary on the family, he spends half of his. But SHE is the gold digger?!
What's your relationship like OP? Could you raise this with him?

HairyGarden · 10/04/2025 08:33

But his 50% of the company is a marital asset, so you would be entitled to a share of it on divorce?

Trumpsgoneloco · 10/04/2025 08:33

I don't think you're gold digging. If his share of the company is considered a marital asset then you don't need to worry. If not I would worry.

Chungai · 10/04/2025 08:33

Can you seek first to understand?

How does the money going into the company benefit anyone?

Who owns the majority stake?

Did you agree to a third of your household income being invested this way?

How come DH pays so much more than you of your household costs, presumably mortgage/ bills / cars is significantly more than food shop

Original poster
isthisfairtodo · 10/04/2025 08:33

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 10/04/2025 08:29

Does he run his business with his father? Or did he inherit his father’s business?
And/or what does his father contribute to the investment company?

i am trying to understand the rationale for the co-ownership of the investment company

He doesn’t run the business with his father and his father doesn’t invest into the business either.

there are other benefits which he brings to the business apparently.

OP posts:
Bubblesgun · 10/04/2025 08:33

Are you married? Do you have a prenup? Are you is next of kin and do you have a will?

if yes to all that, if the worst happen, his passing or a divorce then the basis is both gets 50% of everything.

thats why i know my husband cant afford to divorce me 🤪🤪🤪

Swipe left for the next trending thread