Should I ask to be a shareholder too? DH company etc

[isthisfairtodo]

Ok I’m going to try to explain this without completely outing myself here, so bear with me.

My DH has a good income, of which 50 percent flows into an investment company be co-owns with his father. This is for apparent company benefits.

I have work full time, but make around half of what my DH makes. The amount flowing into the investment company is equivalent to my entire salary.

my DH pays for all bills/ mortgage/ cars and one child’s education and I pay for our other child’s education , as well as quite a bit of our household expenses. Food shopping etc.

in any case, I am the default parent, I leave work early / work from home when kids are sick and I take care of our household. DH works long hours and I manage my job around his hours.

question is - is it fair for me not to be part of this investment company too ? Seeing as he’s putting so much money into it ( very little wise )? If he decides to leave me one day, I won’t have many rights over the investments that have grown over the years, seeing as his father is part of the company and I’m not. So my DH shares would be diluted.

I make a lot of sacrifices too, to enable my DH to work the hours he needs to, to enable him to even earn the money to put into the investments.

wouldn’t it be fairer if I was also a shareholder ?

thanks for your help!

I think what OP is saying is that she would then get 50% of 50%.

Why does her father in law get 25% of her DH salary?!

They are married! She and her children are being deprived of money.

All of that will be taken into account in the family courts.

What's fair isn't always what someone has to, and is likely to do though. Better to be realistic with people. Agree it's not gold digging and OP should ask, but it's highly doubtful he'd add her in.

Mad responses on here.

I think they are typical

How are her children being deprived of money?

Wait are you saying you want to be an equal shareholder to your FIL and your DH?

Otherwise how is it diluted. You essentially have half of your DH's shares as they're a marital asset.

If it weren’t for him you wouldn’t live where you do, have all your bills paid for you and your children wouldn’t be at private school.

He could probably afford a nanny if you weren’t around so I’m sure he could continue to earn his money.

You have marriage to protect you as well as your own job. What more do you need? You sound like you want to leave him and screw him over for his money.

Is there a particular reason you are worrying about your DH leaving you?

I didn’t agree to it, I was just told about it.

we pay things the way we do, because it’s equivalent percentage of what we earn.

in fact, I pay more percentage wise of what I earn. I pay for 1 child’s education and all food and extras we consume. All kids clothing / uniforms etc. I pay a decent chunk of my salary. In fact, I can’t save much at all.

he makes a lot more than me. On a bad month ( of my salary ) he makes 4 times as much.

Because her FIL gets half of that money which is their household's money.

Despite not working for the company and just bringing some very opaque "benefits"

Well he could hire a nanny. It’s a bit of an oversimplification that he couldn’t possibly run his business without you.

He’s already paying basically all of the family bills, what do you mean you would come out of the marriage with nothing?

That’s not true. Everything has been 50/50 until now. My deposit contribution and salary allowed us to live where we live etc. it’s been since having kids that his earnings have surpassed mine. But in terms of shares of house we own it 50-50.

He FIL wouldn’t be getting half of the household money though, the DH only has a 50% stake in the business. The FIL owns half.

Ok well none of that is ok. He's saving half his salary while you can't save at all.

In your original post you earned half as much which is what I was going on.

Is your salary not steady? Is it commission based? Why does it fluctuate?

What is he like as a partner?

Not really but you just never know right. I never thought about it until this company thing sprung up.

@Chungai

Because her FIL gets half of that money which is their household's money.

Despite not working for the company and just bringing some very opaque "benefits"

That wasn't made clear when I was trying my post.

In many marriages where finances are shared, the personal spends are equal. This isn’t the case here as it appears DH is putting away 50% of his income.

What happens to the income from the investment company @isthisfairtodo

So can you clarify.

Only your DH is putting money into this investment company?

Your FIL doesn't put a penny in but owns half?

Your FIL doesn't do any of the work?

@Chungaiyeah I have a 50 / 50 salary. When I’m making comms it’s 50 percent his salary, when I don’t, his salary is 4 times as much. I’ve struggled the last few years to get up to my true earning potential unfortunately. I used to make a lot more, which is why we have bought everything we own 50-50. I’m working so hard to get back up to my usual earnings, but it’s tough. I work really hard, at home for my family and at work.

Ignore the posters saying you’re gold digging. If half of the investment fund is owned by FIL and FIL does not contribute to it, then H is giving away 1/6th of the total household income to FIL for no benefit to the household.

Yes.

But all of that money is money earned by OP's DH, why should FIL get half of that and OP get none?

FIL doesn't own the company DH makes his money in, presumably.

He simply co owns the "investment" company where half of DH's hard earned £ goes, while OP can't save at all.

Think it is the FIL who is the gold digger, getting benefit of 50% of the husband’s salary for doing nothing!

So essentially he gives ~25% of earnings to his father? That is unusual if he doesn’t contribute and I’d guess this is either
a) to fund his parents retirement or similar if they haven’t made adequate provision
or
b) so that if you split up, that proportion is protected and not part of the marital pot