Should I ask to be a shareholder too? DH company etc

[isthisfairtodo]

Ok I’m going to try to explain this without completely outing myself here, so bear with me.

My DH has a good income, of which 50 percent flows into an investment company be co-owns with his father. This is for apparent company benefits.

I have work full time, but make around half of what my DH makes. The amount flowing into the investment company is equivalent to my entire salary.

my DH pays for all bills/ mortgage/ cars and one child’s education and I pay for our other child’s education , as well as quite a bit of our household expenses. Food shopping etc.

in any case, I am the default parent, I leave work early / work from home when kids are sick and I take care of our household. DH works long hours and I manage my job around his hours.

question is - is it fair for me not to be part of this investment company too ? Seeing as he’s putting so much money into it ( very little wise )? If he decides to leave me one day, I won’t have many rights over the investments that have grown over the years, seeing as his father is part of the company and I’m not. So my DH shares would be diluted.

I make a lot of sacrifices too, to enable my DH to work the hours he needs to, to enable him to even earn the money to put into the investments.

wouldn’t it be fairer if I was also a shareholder ?

thanks for your help!

But she would BENEFIT in this situation

Whereas he would either abandon his children entirely or suddenly have responsibility for them on his on at certain times.

Anyway, there's been some huge drip feeds which changes things quite a bit

Pay attention. She is doing all the WifeWork so that her husband can work for the company. You think he’d be able to do what he does if he was having to run around after the kids? She is as important to that business as he is.

Of course she deserves a role. It isn’t gold digger-ish to want your role to be recognised.

@Gogogo12345 FIL isn’t doing anything for the money either, what does that make him?

I think there’s no harm getting independent advice on the company set-up for yourself. I don’t think the set us is to benefit the company but probably it’s for tax reasons for your DH ? Is your FIL listed as shareholder because the set-up needed two share-holders and your DH didn’t want to involve you ?

This.

I think you're being given an unfairly hard time here - aren't women always being told to protect themselves financially here? Aren't we always being made aware how vulnerable we are? I see it regularly here so I'm a bit confused. We are always advised to make sure we have knowledge of and access to anything that pertains to the idea of 'family money', are we not?

However the answer seems to be that as (if?) you are married then your husband's shares would be considered part of the marital assets should you split so you would automatically have a certain amount of entitlement. If you're not married then it's a very different situation. Presumably your husband isn't hiding any of the information from you about the investments or the quantities of money involved so it doesn't sound like there's any bad intent there. Assuming your relationship is generally good and you communicate well, could you not have this conversation with him?

I don't think you're a gold digger, you're just trying to look at what's best for yourself and your children, but I wonder why the question has come up. Are you considering splitting up? If there is a serious element to the question then your best bet is to get proper legal advice to make sure of your position. However if it's just curiosity and your husband finds out you've consulted someone about it then be prepared for a shitstorm as he wonders what the hell is going on! You may precipitate something you're not really prepared for.

I agree with others - you need financial clarity on how it works, what FIL contribution is to the investment, do they get anything back (and diverted elsewhere) or is it reinvested into the same pot. Where do FILs shares go when he dies. If DH refuses then you are being financially abused (which I suspect you are anyway).

Stop with the "he pays mortgage, I pay food" words and write down how much you are actually contributing to the household funds and how much you each have free spends, either for savings or fun. Atm food shopping bills can be higher than a mortgage that was fixed several years ago. You need exact figures.

Lol Copper white do the math!
OP's DH couldn't work and earn loads if OP didn't do all the kids / life admin. Does he pay her for childcare??
He wouldn't be in the lovely position he is in without OP support.

Yeah our mortgage is not huge guys. I have not made up how things work for us, just because it doesn’t ‘ make sense ‘ to you.

If your DH is paying the equivalent of 50% of his salary into an investment company I think it's absolutely fair enough that you should understand fully the set up of the company and the financial implications for the future.

This doesn't sound sustainable if your DH is stressing about money either.

Principally I would want to fully understand the purpose of this investment.

All money seems to be tied up with little actually spare, if OP is having to pay off credit card debt. In normal circumstances you wouldn’t be tying up a third of the family income in what is in effect savings, if you don’t have enough for your outgoings. Especially if 50% of those savings no longer belong to you

I would definitely seek advice from a solicitor. Your DH is putting 50% of his income into an investment company so you should ask the solicitor to clarify what the situation would be with this money if your marriage ends. Does your DH receive dividends from this company? Is he generally generous with you and the children or do you have reason to worry about his motives for putting half his income into this company?

Also this sounds like a tax avoidance tactic

OP’s salary pays for private fees of one child, so if she wasn’t contributing one child would not be treated the same as the other

Half of his salary more than covers our costs. It’s just his style. He would want to be saving 50 percent for the investment company and another half as well on top.

he isn’t actually struggling to pay for what he pays for, in reality. He would just like to be able to save even more.

@isthisfairtodo has he explained why he has to put 50% of his income into the company, could he put a lower percentage in?

If he has enough money for his costs why do you have credit card debt?

Hes obviously there for reasons that have not been revealed. Thinking of it though if OP were to get a share in the company it would have to be a portion of the husbands shares as you cannot make FIL give any of his to her.

Therefore for example if her DH was to give her 50% of his shares how does it actually make her any better off? It's the minimum she'd get in a divorce anyway

Well I don't understand this business at all. Your DH puts a lot of money into this company which is managed by FIL who has not put any money in it but who owns 50% and DH 50% but neither gets any salary or profit from it? Unless it is sold presumably? Or is it a charity? Or Stocks and shares? Presumably its value can go down or it could go bankrupt too? Why is DH so determined to put so much money in it every month when he finds it stressful and gets nothing from it - as yet?

If he is stressing about money because he puts so much of his salary into this company, why does he do it? Ask him to clearly explain the benefits to him and his family (if any). Who on earth would invest half their income if it meant that they were then struggling for money. There must either be a big incentive for your DH to do this, or this is something that benefits your FIL and he has bullied your DH into doing this.

Either way, you are at a huge disadvantage financially.

The investments do make money, but we aren’t benefiting from it. He could take it out I think but it’s not the plan. It’s more of a case that the money accumulates there and is then taken out to perhaps be reinvested or when needed or in retirement. That’s how I understand it.

I don’t understand this either. Why won’t he explain the facts and benefits to you?

People tend to get angry when they are being defensive. It feels like he definitely doesn’t want you to get legal advice. I’d be wondering WHY (and obtaining a bit of advice without him knowing).

No, it really doesn’t. If this income, which he shares with his father, is facilitated by your sacrifices then surely you are entitled to benefit from it too. His income is your income. I simply do not understand how (married) couples don’t see all income as family money. If you are a partnership then surely it’s all or nothing.
Does your father-in-law put the same amount of money into this investment company and is your mother-in-law a benefactor and/or a shareholder?

So what are the actual figures you are both spending on? How much is left over each month?

If his contributions cost him £2k out of £5k and yours 2.3k out of 2.5k a month then the inequality would be very clear to even the dumbest poster. As I said in other post, stop with the he pays mortgage, I pay food shit and write down the figures, including any debt payments, Netflix, Sky etc. Do you have access to see what he pays?

Wholeheartedly disagree with the first comment!!! What rubbish.

Surely you’re married so any assets are shared? This would include financial assets and therefore the company shares I would think?? I reckon you need decent legal advice to ensure a fair set up.

Does he pay into a pension or is this the equivalent of a pension fund (although not sure why FIL has a stake in it)