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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how often you’re complimented on your looks

204 replies

LeopardPrintShorts · 09/04/2025 20:23

In particular by people you've just met. Have been out with a very pretty friend who has had men fawning over her/complimenting her whilst I was just ignored as usual. I don't think my physical appearance has ever been complimented by a stranger. Feeling a bit crap. Does this happen to other people?

OP posts:
Taito · 09/04/2025 20:32

LeopardPrintShorts · 09/04/2025 20:23

In particular by people you've just met. Have been out with a very pretty friend who has had men fawning over her/complimenting her whilst I was just ignored as usual. I don't think my physical appearance has ever been complimented by a stranger. Feeling a bit crap. Does this happen to other people?

I got complimented all the time until I hit 30 and gained weight.

The absence of the complements that used to be forthcoming really cements that I have become obviously less attractive in the couple of years despite my husband's protestations to the contrary, which is very depressing.

PurpleFlower1983 · 09/04/2025 20:34

Quite a bit when I was younger, not so much now 2 kids later and the wrong side of 40!

Basketslipper · 09/04/2025 20:34

I'm a woman in her 50s, so I don't get "fawnig" and I've never thought I was particularly attractive, even when I was young, but people do tell me I look nice when I make an effort (it's all relative, just better than usual?).

I get compliments on my clothes from strangers every now and again.

EVHead · 09/04/2025 20:35

That stopped when I hit adolescence!

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 09/04/2025 20:37

Never, but I'm over 40 and pretty fat

Icanttakethisanymore · 09/04/2025 20:39

My mum compliments me on the way I look quite frequently...

Lmnop22 · 09/04/2025 20:39

My family and friends will tell me I look nice but I wouldn’t say I get compliments from strangers on looks at all, maybe I just don’t deserve them though 😳

SlagPit · 09/04/2025 20:39

Never. I've had strangers tell me how ugly I am a few times. No one has ever said I'm pretty or attractive (because I'm not).

Hankunamatata · 09/04/2025 20:40

Only by dh, cos he is a sweetie. Otherwise I'm old and fat

Katemax82 · 09/04/2025 20:40

Daily in my 20s and early to mid 30s, now, never!

DustyMaiden · 09/04/2025 20:41

Up to the age of 55. Quite happy it’s stopped.

qandatime · 09/04/2025 20:41

I used to get a lot more when I was a size 8. At a size 14 not so much but It doesn’t bother me.
I get compliments occasionally from other women about my clothes/hair/makeup. I was around my friends recently who’d just had a baby and the health visitor came round. She asked who I was and my friend introduced me as the babies aunty Kate.. She said I looked far to glamorous to be anyone’s Auntie.. I can assure you this isn’t true but it felt quite nice.

NatWestPigFamily · 09/04/2025 20:43

When I was younger I used to get compliments. Now overweight with a menopausal belly so rarely get them now, if I do it’s about having nice eyes or skin.

Dweetfidilove · 09/04/2025 20:43

About a month ago - said by my daughter's friend. Was quite chuffed.
From a complete stranger, not since before Christmas.

Cakeandcheeseforever · 09/04/2025 20:44

In my 20s I used to get compliments from strangers and hated it. Just made me feel awkward, wanted to be left alone to get on with my thoughts uninterrupted. I enjoy the peace of no compliments except from my partner and friends now I’m in my 40s!

Friendofdennis · 09/04/2025 20:44

Now ( aged 60 ) I am complimented by other women on my clothes, but the harassment from men stopped in my 30’s and I don’t miss it one bit

Alwaystryhard · 09/04/2025 20:51

I don't understand this parallel universe that exists on MN where apparently the norm is to go round telling strangers they are stunning/ beautiful/ attractive etc. And also conversely giving people really nasty , negative and derogatory comments on their appearance.

In the world I've lived in, for a very long time, generally people might make socially conventional comments, such as telling people they know they look " nice" on a special occasion etc but that's about the extent of ir.

It truly amazes me the number of MN posters who are so full of themselves to post about about how beautiful they are and how people are always telling them so.

Don't feel crap about yourself OP. Just be relieved you are human and normal. I've no doubt you are attractive . Just not self obsessed and full of yourself as seems to be the norm these days.

Neverenoughfor · 09/04/2025 20:53

Daily told I’m beautiful but it’s because of my job. I do beauty and clients say they want skin like mine or brows like mine and how young I look. I’ve never felt confident in myself though.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 09/04/2025 20:53

I’m middle aged and obese so don’t get many compliments from strangers! I get a few comments about nice outfits or nice hair etc. or general “you look great today” sometimes from people I know.

Purplesphere11 · 09/04/2025 20:55

Often. I'm 49 and it happens a lot. I've stayed out of the sun and it helps that I'm short in statutes. Maybe they think I'm cute because I'm little but I do look after myself and appearance which is effort

Doyouthinktheyknow · 09/04/2025 20:56

Don’t think I’ve ever really had compliments from strangers!

Occasionally I get ‘nice dress’ from colleagues, that’s it!

I quite like being ignored to be honest!

NoSourDough · 09/04/2025 20:56

I don’t get told it everyday no, not sure why because in my world I’m a clear 10/10.

RedHelenB · 09/04/2025 20:57

When I was younger and I'd say I was very average looking.

Youcunnyfunt · 09/04/2025 20:58

Just curious, but how often do you compliment strangers on their appearance?

Alwaystryhard · 09/04/2025 20:59

Neverenoughfor · 09/04/2025 20:53

Daily told I’m beautiful but it’s because of my job. I do beauty and clients say they want skin like mine or brows like mine and how young I look. I’ve never felt confident in myself though.

Really?
And this is strangers telling you this?
I would find this so intrusive and rude.
What is it with people's obsession with looks that they feel they have the right to do this?
That's all women are valued for isn't it?
Absolutely depressing.
What is the point in life when value is placed on something so transcient?