Gave Granddaughter's Mum £250 towards her 3rd birthday party

[TheBuffetInspector]

She couldn't decide which nursery friends to invite. Whether it would be 360 or local Wacky.

I gave her £250 towards either.

She's going to Sea-Life Centre with her Mum.

So, not only no party. No invite either.

I'm a bit pissed off to be honest.

Hoping that you're not being sarcastic...
I'd like to announce that I love you!

You can be guest of honour at our little picnic. I'm naturally assuming that you'll be arriving on the Ninky Nonk!

Haha thank you xx

If I knew you in real life I'd contribute! What an amazing present for your lovely granddaughter.

I am. I hope she has a lovely day.

I've served my time in germ centrals, and now, different perspective, I'm not that bothered. It was just the list, the places, food for parents added... Whole shebang, hence £250 towards.

I'll have a lovely time regardless of what we do. Every moment is a treasure.

I think I recognise you actually. It's the hair isn't it? You've done it different.

So, yes, bank transfer to...

🤣🤣

She spent her early morning going back through all of my previous posts.

Which, I suspect... Could be the highlight of her day!

Who knows?

Might be better to open an account, save the money and give it directly to your grand daughter when she's an independent adult.

I can't, I keep taking her to Argos and opening the catalogue at 'babies and prams' that's her thing! I do see her. She's a treasure.

I’m not trying to pile on but how is 19 and 24 not disturbing? Or even 20 and 25 for that matter. A college/uni girl with a man years into the working world. It’s the different life stages that make it weird, whereas say 30 and 35 wouldn’t be weird. Anyway I know it’s not really relevant to this thread (except to say perhaps the poor mum, so young and having to single parent a child and deadbeat man), but I can’t help pointing it out because I’m not a fan of relationships like these.

Why can't you open a savings account for your granddaughter?

Do you work?

Ikr!
I wish it wer JK.
Id Ave my stick wiv me.
Innit.

Oh dear.

Yes, of course you are absolutely right.
I solely, have birthed the cast for the next series of Benefit Britain Street.

It actually feels quite an accomplishment after raising two children with my one single hand.

Never once did I guide them to succeed.
There's no money in manual labour.
No son, you want to have an accidental baby (Damien Rice), have your head mashed and keep that head down. You've lost your home, you've lost your partner, you've lost your daughter.
That's right son. Here's a stick to self flagellate.
Not too much though, we can't have you Pipping.

I acknowledge this thread is getting irrelevant but my god I hope you don’t have kids. It’s hardly having a money tree to expect a kid (a growing and hungry child, but any human really) to live on more than £2.80 a day.

While I think communication could have been much more transparent, and genuinely without meaning to devalue what I’m sure was a precious amount of money to OP, the mother is well within her rights to use whatever spare change the deadbeat ex’s side happens to throw her way every once in a while.

You live in your own strange world.

Two people in their 20s are entirely within their rights to get together.

Why doesn't your son work?

Excuse me?

Left him homeless and moved to another town. If you don't mind.

I'll accept the apology for your nasty slur on my sons character.

She wasn’t in her 20s though. She was 19/20. If some guy in his mid 20s impregnated a girl in uni/college that’d be at least a bit weird no? I’m not saying it’s wrong in the way grooming a teen would be wrong but I do find it a bit weird. I could just be a prude / ill-exposed though, as in genuinely.

I'm no longer going to discuss my sons life with a bunch of braying hyenas.

I've discussed it enough.

If you can't feel any sympathy for a man who has lost everything, well, you're probably on the right forum.

What a shame that a mother cannot defend her son any more.

Mumsnet's finest @mnhq

All I said was that he was deadbeat, ie not contributing to his child’s upbringing. Again, no child can be full or provided for on £84 a month (£2.80 a day) or possibly even twice that. That’s a fact. I didn’t say anything about his character.

If she stole his house or whatever that’s veering into insane backstory territory and IMO is irrelevant unless it means the child is well provided for financially.

I agree, what a nasty post. I hope you don’t have kids as well.

If he only has UC money, he can’t magic up money from a money tree can he?

As turns out, she was almost 21.

I honestly think it's ridiculous to think a post-18 age gap of 5 years is "disturbing". You and I must live in very different worlds.

At 19, I was both at university and running a successful business. 24 year old men were just about a similar level of maturity...and that's reaching to be honest. Most of my cousins were married with one child by 21. 19/20 year olds are not children and we do them a great disservice by pretending they are.

Excuse me, she was 21.

Ive explained this.

Read up or stop frothing.

Veering?

You have swerved so far beyond reason that you've crossed the central reservation.

Ok sorry. I was perhaps too quick to comment - I was just replying the other person’s comment about a 19 year old girl and 25 year old guy. I literally only said “a bit weird” (which it still is to me, and again I’ve acknowledged multiple times I could just be ignorant/sheltered) which is pretty mild and far from frothing.

I think you are overreacting tbh. My only point was that £84 a month for her child is peanuts so, while she could definitely have been more transparent, I can see why she used the money for something else like a nice outing or quality time. I can see both sides, hers and yours.

Any vengeance tale about homelessness or whatever may be slightly material/relevant but isn’t exactly central to this issue.

The Sea Life VIP Aquarium opening is £250. I'm presuming OP calming down means she's found out the mum bought that or the shark night trip. Or perhaps mum got a couple of Merlin passes (£79 each), extras for the birthday meal and a gift shop treat. Much closer to £250 and great for making the most of a low budget.

Hope so!

Less hoping the shark night thing. Purely because GD might be tired. Nobody wants to see sharks... Okay, my daughter was obsessed with them.

We had a family home close to Brest Oceanapolis and we'd spend most of our time going up and down in the glass lift.

First time, met Mum upstairs - lazy gits getting the lift! This wasn't your ordinary lift...!

I know, so middle class wanker Daily Mail. For the poster above.