45k salary entirely eaten by childcare

[Sofiewoo]

Granted salaries aren’t what they were only a handful of years ago but aibu to be shocked that my 45k salary is now entirely eaten by childcare and getting to work??
I figured if you are earning in the 20s you would assume that but not mid 40s!

I’m trying to weigh up whether to just take the next year and a half off instead of working for nothing. I know, pension, career blah blah but it’s mentally very difficult to juggle drop offs, work schedules and sickness but be no better off financially at the end of the month.

Did anyone else not realise it was a bad as this?

No, believe it or not, it’s not safety in numbers ( no one here actually knows each other IRL😂) people strongly disagree with your attitude and what you are saying, you also come across as very narrow minded

It isn't a legal requirement to send your children to school.

But as they are in school and you are not seeing / caring for them during that time you are really not achieving much more than a working mother so is there really much point in being at home😂

This was the reason I went back part time. Well some of it. I didn't want to spend 5 days away from him also. It's rubbish that it's so expensive for childcare!thankfully now my little one has "funded hours" which covers 2 of the three full days that he attends. I now get one day a week allllllll to my self because when his funded hours kicked I was so used to having a bill that I decided to pay for a third day.

I'm not going to simply politely disagree when someone is been insulting, hypocritical and sexist. That's just a start too.

Accusing me of running away from my parenting responsibilities to work when her husband works a similar schedule and is dad of the year. 🙄

I really think given her attitude (@AmeliaRuby) that she should be home schooling😂, I mean, what is she doing all day while they are in school, if she really thinks they need her undivided attention home schooling should be the only way, then she would be more productive.

🥱

Still can't explain the difference? Thought not.

You would think being the fantastic mother that she is, she would know that😂

Nurseries also follow the Early Years Foundation curriculum. 😂

You have my full sympathy op, I worked for about a year after maternity with my third. Childcare fees were 50 quid less a month than my salary. We decided it wasn't worth it and I stayed home for around two years. I went back to work when my middle child started school and youngest nursery then used a childminder. Do what's best for you in your current situation, I had no issue getting back in work and have been promoted twice since.

‘At the end of the day, only very unhappy people find the time to come on the internet and disparage their fellow women’

• isn’t this exactly what you have done today towards me? 😂

No one has proven me wrong, quite the contrary. My children prove me right everyday with how utterly delightful they are and what a special bond we have and how safe and secure they feel - I am immensely proud ❤️

View my marriage as you will and my upbringing. I do not care for approval by someone like you. You hide behind loaded words and phrases to excuse the fact that you clearly feel a lot of guilt still working when your husband earns 100k plus.

If you felt so secure (and happy) in your decision, you wouldn’t have spent the last few hours trying to defend yourself on here😂

I mean that could be said about all of us 😂

Ignoring those children of hers instead of making precious memories with them.

Time she'll never get back. It's a shame.

They’ve been out all day with their Dad
Making memories with him
As he works more than you he has less time with them so he has to make up for it 😂

Agreed, she really needs to review her priorities as spending hours and hours on MN on a Sunday afternoon/ evening is not exactly the behaviour of a mothers as dedicated as she claims to be

That’s quite sad, why weren’t you with him making these memories or do you take Sundays off from your mothering duties after working hard all week

Darling, you too have been on mn for the best part of the afternoon 😂

We aren't the ones lecturing others that to be good mothers, you need to be with them 24/7.

Clearly, you don't even take your own advice though. Miss out on spending a day with them and ship them off to school when you could homeschool.

We highly value one on one time with our children and also having time with their dad without me around. It’s nice for them to bond - it gives me more time to cook and clean and whistle while I work at home for my man ( that was a joke btw, I think sense of humours are scares in this thread) 😂

I’m not the one who claims children need a mothers undivided attention though😂

We highly value one on one time with our children and also having time with their dad without me around. It’s nice for them to bond

So you don't need to be with your child 24/7 to be a good mother after all? Glad we finally solved that issue.

• isn’t this exactly what you have done today towards me? 😂

No, I didn’t fish out a thread from a working mother and spend the day insulting and disparaging her and other working women.

Nor did I spend the day calling other women ‘sad’ for doing exactly what you call your husband ‘an amazing dad’ for.

I feel no guilt whatsoever working - my job directly improves the life of children living in poverty actually. Last week I took my son to work where he spent the day telling me how cool it was. I do pick ups and drop offs, I teach them both a musical instrument, I read to them daily, they read to me daily, I take them to two sports clubs a week. They cook dinner with me. My husband does all the above too. He works at a children’s hospital.

Why is your husband an amazing dad by working? Can you tell us?