45k salary entirely eaten by childcare

[Sofiewoo]

Granted salaries aren’t what they were only a handful of years ago but aibu to be shocked that my 45k salary is now entirely eaten by childcare and getting to work??
I figured if you are earning in the 20s you would assume that but not mid 40s!

I’m trying to weigh up whether to just take the next year and a half off instead of working for nothing. I know, pension, career blah blah but it’s mentally very difficult to juggle drop offs, work schedules and sickness but be no better off financially at the end of the month.

Did anyone else not realise it was a bad as this?

That’s still only £12k a year - so where does the £45k figure come from? Surely your other child doesn’t cost £33k in childcare?

I think it depends where you live, ours isn’t close to some of the ones here but it is still a lot (I pay £900 for two children, three days a week.)

It really doesn’t when most people can’t get through the month on their salary. As for getting better it doesn’t really, school holidays are a blast to financially pay for be it a holiday 6 x the price of term time, a 1hr activity that costs £30 or a holiday club at £70 a day.

I think YABU because you already had a 2.5 year old when you got pregnant with child number 2 so you should have known how much childcare costs. Yes it is expensive but I know many people who don't have two children so close together for that reason.

Eww but then you have to look after other peoples kids

She won’t be taking home 45 k though.

So when I was on that salary I took home around £2400. So if you’re paying £900 for two children, leaves you £600, and you have associated costs with work (commuting etc) then it won’t leave much. So I can see how it happens.

Not having a go at you OP as this childcare situation is out of hand however I still don’t understand why everyone talks about it not being worth the woman working as all her salary goes on childcare. It’s such a backwards way of thinking and continues to uphold the view that men’s jobs are more important and childcare is women’s responsibility. It seems
mist women are doing the organising, nursery drop off and pickup and then having time off when baby/child is sick.

Unless you are a single parent then both salaries are paying for childcare. So then you’re only paying your half meaning you can keep your pension going etc. I think this also focuses men’s minds on the cost of children. If more men were expected to share time off when they’re sick, leaving on time for pickup then things would eventually change as men and businesses would adapt and support families. The patriarchy is alive and kicking unfortunately.

Honestly with the economy and job market as it is no way would I consider quitting until things turn around. You have 2 adults in the household, however you view family money nursery should be seen as a joint expense. Presumably he doesn't earn much more than you if you get the free hours so why shouldn't he.

Tough it out - honestly, getting back on a career path in the current climate will be very tough - personally I wasn't able to and suffered for that - pension was my biggest failure!

It will get easier over time, you need to think long term I'm afraid.

And that’s why I don’t work in my old job any more. 2 children, husband earns over £100k so no childcare funding available. It was a loss for me to work and I love being with our children every single day

Her salary is £45k gross

childcare is from net income

explains most of the difference

@Sofiewoo that is a lot - I’m very glad I don’t have nursery aged kids now. I wasn’t working for a lot after nursery costs 6-10 years back but it was some.

Look at your pension though - it does matter I know you are in the really hard phase but pension contributions at this stage are going to mature for 20-30 years, your pension will cost you more to fill later as less time for returns to happen…

things are bad and costs are rising just about everywhere, unemployment may rise, you don’t want to go down to one income when more funding will kick in for the second dc so it’s short term…

I assume OP means 45k gross, which is about 36k net (or thereabouts) so 3k per month income, though take-home will be less due to pension contributions and any other deductions. So there's a 1,500-2k per month bill for the other child which isn't at unbelievable levels

I guess that’s the risk isn’t it, you never know how easy it is to get back in!

That’s for one child. The other isn’t on 30 hours.
A take home 45k salary isn’t 45k? Are you missing that?
Why are you posting repeatedly so aggressively to me?
Childcare costs = £45k so you claim (although you must have several preschool children for that!).

My children were at nursery in the early 2000's and it was the same. Most of one salary sucked up in fees. However I didn't want to take a career break so we saw it as a short term problem. Like you some fertility problems and then two close together - got a bit better after 5 years - with wrap around care and after school childminder.

It's not for much longer. Your oldest will start school soon and you'll have some spare cash again. Think of it as an investment rather than an expense.

What about prospects for getting promoted/pay rises. Boosting income is actually the rational response not cutting it when costs are rising, if you can…no prospects for either of you of that?

It’s frustrating but short term - the older one will be at school before long. I’d keep at it for the career/pay progression and the pension

I would keep working at least part-time. I was glad I did when my lousy ex unexpectedly left. Also how secure is your husband’s job, what if he lost his?

YABVU for not knowing that already having one, knowing how much baby no.2 would cost.

Out of interest how much is the daily rate for each child?

Retrain in childcare as pp says, do you know how much they earn per hour?!

Can you drop to 3 days? It cuts the nursery bill and you don't lose out as much when you look at take home pay. Are you using one of the tax free childcare schemes? I'd be reluctant to leave work completely when you will have 1 at school either this year or next

I was on about £22k when I had my first, then I had another. It really felt impossible. I left for a few months and then went very part time and I'm now in a worse job than when I started. It's a bit shit but it is what it is, I'd do it all again.

It’s so tough OP, ignore the naysayers!

I think this is one of those situations where the benefits and dis benefits have been well covered by previous posters, so I’d say - do what you want to do based on those. FT, PT or SAHM if they all feel doable to you.

wishing you luck - it’s a slog x