45k salary entirely eaten by childcare

[Sofiewoo]

Granted salaries aren’t what they were only a handful of years ago but aibu to be shocked that my 45k salary is now entirely eaten by childcare and getting to work??
I figured if you are earning in the 20s you would assume that but not mid 40s!

I’m trying to weigh up whether to just take the next year and a half off instead of working for nothing. I know, pension, career blah blah but it’s mentally very difficult to juggle drop offs, work schedules and sickness but be no better off financially at the end of the month.

Did anyone else not realise it was a bad as this?

With my mum it was more that she was really bored being a SAHM and very snappy. She was however very judgemental of working mums and loved to say how she ‘put us first’. Well I wish she hadn’t bothered as she was spiteful, stressy and constantly reminded us what she gave up ‘for us’

I worked 2 days a week for a few months to honour my maternity leave. Hardly the same as years of working full time and using nurseries etc. I’ve never used a nursery.

You haven't always put them first if you worked. Not according to yourself anyway.

Whenever posters say ‘you sound very angry’ more often than not, the poster they’re referring to doesn’t sound angry at all. It’s so odd.

Your kids go to school and you let strangers raise them all the same though.

Agreed.
There's also a shocking statistics that nearly one in three stop work because of ill health BEFORE state retirement age.

You sound quite insecure as a mother tbh

Like lots of reassurance needed

Yes, it would drive some women to distraction to be at home all day so I’m not surprised to hear that, how could anyone be a good mother feeling that way, I think a lot of mothers are better mothers for going out to work, they have a sense of satisfaction at the end of their day.
Most working mothers are fantastic multi taskers who are capable of working AND raising happy, well adjusted intelligent children

People forget it’s not actually ever been the norm for kids to stay at home with just 1 adult giving them undivided attention all day. Being raised among other children and caregivers was the norm for a very very long time, as humans lived in communities.

Exactly.

I always say that working makes me a better mother.

I see she STILL hasn’t answered this question even after you have prompted her a few times
She obviously can’t 😂

Honestly not at all - I’ve been slated here all day and still very confident in my life decisions as a mum.

Many kids I know run into nursery in the morning they are so thrilled to be there, they thrive amongst the other kids and it’s great for their social skills and confidence

My sense of satisfaction comes from spending time with my children. What’s so wrong with that?

You've only been slated because you have slated working mothers. You can't seem to take any criticism without crying that you're being bullied but are quite happy to insult working mothers and then seem surprised when they respond.

Nothing.

What's wrong is all of the insulting comments you've made about working mothers.

But your children seem to be in school for most of the day so you don’t actually see them much more than a working mother😂?

I mean none of that is true.
There have been a handful of you all bombarding me because I have a different view to yours but it’s to be expected with some people some times nowadays - safety in numbers and all

Of course it's true.

Your views are insulting to working mothers. Again, you seem surprised that people are going to rightly respond to them.

I have two school age children and one still at home. It’s very different sending a 4-5 year old to school to dropping off your 9 month old off to a nursery to work full time.

Not surprised at all 😊

So your children only matter until they are 4-5 and you palm them off to strangers at school?

Why don't you homeschool instead of letting strangers raise them at school?

Well in fairness it is true you’ve been pretty abrasive and unpleasant about working parents and what they are doing wrong in some of your posts. I don’t think it’s constructive to retaliate and I think having the set up where one parent works from home can be really advantageous for some families. I just (hopefully politely) disagree that it’s the only model that works well and results in secure, happy, emotionally stable kids.

At the end of the day, only very unhappy people find the time to come on the internet and disparage their fellow women for their choices, the ways @AmeliaRuby has (because let’s face it, she’s not insulting working fathers).

She clearly has an incredibly hard time accepting happy, independent women. Maybe because she’s annoyed that many women prove her wrong and she doesn’t like that, maybe because she’s unhappy in her marriage, or maybe she was brought up badly by her own parents. Whatever it is, it screams resentment in some way, and it’s incredibly sad. I hope she finds a way to tolerance and respect for other parents she encounters in life.

I also hope she finds a way to stop suggesting women fancy her husband and being weirdly preoccupied with expensive handbags.

They are being taught a curriculum in school. It’s a legal requirement. Last time I checked that wasn’t the case for babies in nurseries 😂