45k salary entirely eaten by childcare

[Sofiewoo]

Granted salaries aren’t what they were only a handful of years ago but aibu to be shocked that my 45k salary is now entirely eaten by childcare and getting to work??
I figured if you are earning in the 20s you would assume that but not mid 40s!

I’m trying to weigh up whether to just take the next year and a half off instead of working for nothing. I know, pension, career blah blah but it’s mentally very difficult to juggle drop offs, work schedules and sickness but be no better off financially at the end of the month.

Did anyone else not realise it was a bad as this?

As the saying goes ‘proof is in the pudding’

I have complete strangers come over to us to comment on my children. Their teachers adore them. They’re fabulous well rounded children which reinforces me I’ve done the right thing ❤️

No amount of rude, offensive, work obsessed women will take that away

Well you certainly aren’t teaching them empathy.

@AmeliaRuby
All that I can say is that I’m extremely glad I had a different type of role model, and now look at me, successfully, happy, well adjusted, large circle of friends, polite, mannerly, intelligent….I won’t go on as I don’t want to boast😂

If I'm work obsessed then so is your husband but wait, I thought he is a good and present dad?

And imagine if you were even better than all of that 🤯

I know about bowlby. I studied social work at university. I've worked in children's social work before so believe me I have know probably more about attachment than you do.

Hence why I know my son who has a loving secure home life is not going to be psychologically damaged by a few days at nursery. It isn't even comparable to the trauma some children go through. I know that secure attachment has been built since the womb and my son displays secure attachment on these an every basis. I know my son knows he has loving parents and a secure loving home and for the days he is at nursery, these things are a constant for him.

Its from the work I do and my own knowledge and research I'm happy with my decisions. And it's funny, I've worked alongside many professionals social workers, psychologists, doctors who all specialise in child welfare and development and many of them have worked and sent their children to nursery.

And its because of this too, I absolutely won't be swayed by your out to date, bullshit views and opinions that you have yet to provide any evidence to back up.

Repetitive much?

Do you want my husbands phone number? 😂

Imagine making a new username to bitch about how shit other mothers are and how amazing you are. I mean how pathetic.

Exactly, I think it must be awfull for her children to grow up with such a narrow minded mother who can’t see past her own point of view…..they will more than likely turn out the same way and the fact that she spends so much time with them the influence will be strong!

??

I'm waiting for you to answer me as to what the difference is?

Especially since you're sat at home with teachers raising your children.

I dropped down to 3 days.

You’re all not making any sense now!

You’ve used what little time you have with your children on the weekend to message on a thread about how much you work and don’t earn.

Enjoy your families and be happy ❤️

You've been here as much as anyone. Ignoring your children whilst lecturing others about not spending enough time with their children.

It's quite funny.

You more than likely won’t get an answer, when she can’t defend herself she just adds a laughing emoji and there has been a lot of comments on here where she absolutely cannot defend herself

I have the time, I spend loads more time with my children remember? What’s your excuse?

Oh yeah, I get a laughing emoji every time now. It's pathetic.

What, you have been on here for the last couple of hours at least, you really make no sense
Why aren’t you caring for your children😂

You have more time to ignore them? Interesting.

Oh yes me too, it's an absolute embarrassment. I've still not seen any clear evidence or anything to back up these nonsensical views that belong in the 1950s.

I don’t have to defend myself to anyone

I’m fully aware that I won’t ‘win’ these conversations in the eyes of the kind of people on this thread and I’m ok with that. I’m not in the game of trying to change people but I will stand up for sahm and I do believe it’s the best way to raise young children. It’s that simple.

I can’t possibly respond to you all - you’re all bunched together bullying the sahm - hope it’s made you feel better about your life choices

The kind of people on this thread are simply people who work full time to financially provide for their children. No different to your husband.

You can't explain the difference because there isn't a difference.

Your children are away from you a minimum of 6.5 hours a day which is only 1 hour a day less than a full time job, and then apparently your DH is always driving them to clubs on top to make himself useful when he could be spending time with them.

No one is bullying you, you are giving your point of view and other people are giving theirs