45k salary entirely eaten by childcare

[Sofiewoo]

Granted salaries aren’t what they were only a handful of years ago but aibu to be shocked that my 45k salary is now entirely eaten by childcare and getting to work??
I figured if you are earning in the 20s you would assume that but not mid 40s!

I’m trying to weigh up whether to just take the next year and a half off instead of working for nothing. I know, pension, career blah blah but it’s mentally very difficult to juggle drop offs, work schedules and sickness but be no better off financially at the end of the month.

Did anyone else not realise it was a bad as this?

Can you use annual leave so you only work 4 days for some of the year?

Could you use a childminder for one day a week instead?

And have you considered a nanny or a nanny share?

It’s tough but you are in the thick of it and it will get better!

My DC are close in age and had 2 lots of nursery fees with no funded hours (£2.5k ish a month), just tax free childcare (which is not 20% of the total cost where we are…)

DH and I both do 10 days in 9 so it was 4 days paid childcare. At the peak we did use a bit of savings rather than really scrimp on a day to day basis. DC 1 is at school now and DC 2 starts in September so only paying for wraparound will be a relief!

But I do enjoy my job and have had a promotion since going back after DC 2 so it is worth it for me. You kind of have to make peace with the costs, decide on your priorities and how you want to tackle it.

@DevonCreamTeaPlease

Having a nanny was a nightmare for us, working from home. Expensive and also paying for food, play dates and playgroups/resources and more toys on top and the kids wanted us all the time!

I have a two year old.

When I signed up for their nursery, the fee was £1750. By the time they started it was £1850. It’s now £2150.

Another I looked at was £2050 and seemed crazy expensive. That’s now £2450.

That’s in ~3 years.

Could you request going part time OP? Just so you can keep your foot in the industry and get some pension contributions and also spend more time with the kids? This is what I did in the end.

Xx

OP doesn't work from home.

Ouch that is painful. I tried to see it as a joint expense, but I understand the temptation to compare it to one salary. I think the lowest amount I took home when I had 2 in childcare full time was £200 a month, that was working 5 days a week, commuting about 3 hours a day too. It was tough but I was early on in my career and I genuinely think a step off would have been a huge mistake, so stuck at it, by the time mine were in school I was earning double, and by the time they were in high school I was a high flying high earning person with a huge amount of flexibility (surprisingly necessary with teens still).

So it was definitely a long game decision for me, I suppose you need to reflect on your career and where you see yourself going. If you’ve peaked and don’t intend to go further I could see a break being tempting, but if but if you have more you want to do I would encourage you to stick it out.

I think this it it, childcare with funding equalling a 45k salary sounds crazy. I certainly hadn’t realised that’s the direct cost until our fees just went up again and I actually looked at my breakdown of income against it!

I think the reality is most people don’t understand the cost of childcare which is why so many people seem to be arguing that it must not be true or I must be paying some outrageously expensive nanny.

And the tax free account! £500 a quarter doesn’t come anywhere near to “tax free”!

Its why lots of people can’t have children so close together.

What would you live on if you have up work?

Presumably you've done the obvious which is compare nursery fees?
There can be quite a difference.

Why don't you both go part-time, 3 days/week, then you only need 1d/week childcare and it isn't screwing your career.

To me, it's still worth being at work. For national insurance contributions, pay rises, bonuses, employer pension contributions.
It's short term pain and you don't lose out career-wise

@Sofiewoo

I am sorry, I know that it’s stressful and a slog. I don’t have a crystal ball as you say but we always factored in fee increases/inflation.

Funded hours are a scam, the govt pays providers much less and expects nurseries to foot the bill for the ‘free’ hours. Thus the nurseries get flamed, very smart of the govt!

Sounds as though the fee increase has been massive, how much did they increase?

It depends on the job and role. I couldn’t go part time pain my job.i asked and they said no. If it doesn’t suit the business needs they don’t have to. Lots of part time jobs are really low paid.

This was one of the reasons I reduced my days after mat leave. After tax/NI & childcare I would be working an extra 2 days every week for around £100 a month which seemed madness. Is reducing days something that might be possible?

Not all jobs can be changed to part time.
I know several young families where they are in snr /manager roles and the option to change to part time isn't there. It's full time or leave.

@1apenny2apenny has nailed it

It’s hard. Like some of the PPs, when I was paying for childcare, train fare and parking all my salary was gone. It seems not worth it. But… I was able to keep my career going, keep my NI and pension contributions and stay up to date. Much harder to climb on again later at the same level. But it’s not easy either way. In the end we employed a shared nanny with some friends - it made the whole thing slightly easier. And also- it’s a shared cost- not yours alone (if you have a partner which is what im assuming).

Yes it’s depressing the cost of childcare and travel- on the latter I do not know why people don’t kick up a fuss

This is why I refuse to go back to the office. I’ve been trying to pass my driving test for years since I left London but partly thanks to dvsa booking system mess I’ve not been able to do it yet so I need to rely on trains which cost me £30 a day. I go in once or twice a month maximum. I would never go back to office working unless I lived close enough to walk or a short drive away with reasonable parking costs (once I pass my test)

instead of forcing people back to the office why don’t they do something about the state of public transport and the roads. Not to mention wage stagnation. And then maybe people will actually want to go back to the office and buy coffees at pret or whatever!

I think it’s very real nowadays that going part time, especially 2-3 days a week does quite significantly impact your career (depending on what it is, but certainly most of the time). It shouldn’t, but it does. It’s not a magic bullet.

It's not just about the money it's about seeing your own value in this relationship and the value of your career. Childcare often turns into the women's responsibility and this way of thinking is one of the way that happens.

I went back to work both times full time so our nursery only offers full time. It was a good rate for 5 days compared to other nurseries which did part time and a higher day rate.

Does anyone suggesting moving settings actually have kids in childcare? It takes ages to settle then and get them comfortable, to move settings, have to resettle them all over again, only to then move my older one to a school in a year all seems so upsetting for them for actually no or at best a very small nursery fee saving!

There seems to be a misunderstanding over how many jobs can't be part time.
Someone on £45K isn't going to be shelf stacking or working for the minimum wage or in admin jobs where it doesn't matter if they work 2 days or 5.

If it that was that easy everyone would jump at it!

It was the same when my child was in nursery 15 years ago but with much less fee hours! I’m a single mum and my nursery fees were £964 per month. I was lucky that I had a mortgage so I switched to interest only during the nursery days. I worked full time and paid into my pension. It was tough but you get through it… You need to stop looking at it as your salary that’s being used up. It’s half your salary and your DH pays the other half!