45k salary entirely eaten by childcare

[Sofiewoo]

Granted salaries aren’t what they were only a handful of years ago but aibu to be shocked that my 45k salary is now entirely eaten by childcare and getting to work??
I figured if you are earning in the 20s you would assume that but not mid 40s!

I’m trying to weigh up whether to just take the next year and a half off instead of working for nothing. I know, pension, career blah blah but it’s mentally very difficult to juggle drop offs, work schedules and sickness but be no better off financially at the end of the month.

Did anyone else not realise it was a bad as this?

My take home is about 31k net.
Childcare bills with funding are £215 and £330 which is just shy of 28.5k a year, marginally brought down by the tax free but the limit is so low it doesn’t world out to anywhere hear what a “tax free” reduction would be!
My commute is a £200 travel card which I think is fairly reasonable as no car, petrol, parking, running costs etc to consider.

Like I said when I had one in nursery it costs less than now, so when I projected adding on the 30 hours and even another full time place I never imagined fees would have increased this much in 3 years!

I would consider part time and then look to increase hours again later down the line if necessary. I was desperate to be a SAHM but have worked so hard on my career I wasn’t willing to give it up as I knew it would be difficult to get back into. I went part time instead and have remained so

It seems excessively expensive because of usually very long hours but when you break down how much you pay per hour per child, it’s an eye opener.

Many of us can’t or won’t take years out of our career to be a SAHM.

If you didn’t go back would you still have to pay something for your eldest’s 30 hours? (I don’t know if they charge extras these days).

Is it feasible to take an unpaid break from work? They could say no. Or maybe they’d say yes. I think you’d lose the protections you have returning from maternity leave though.

Are you due to go back very soon? Given your youngest is 1? Or are you talking about when they are one? Timing matters because there’s a massive difference between being off in the summer or being off in the winter.

I have a career and my DC are now teenagers.

From my perspective, with hindsight:

• my career was stuffed anyway.
• pension - a year at part time pay when I put the min in my pension won’t have made much difference, vs since my childcare costs stopped I’ve been putting a lot more into my pension
• but I’d have found it hard to get another job that was part time and that level of pay if I’d left (I’ve been full time since they were aged 3 and 5, but I was part time when they were little).
• An extra 6 months at home in the winter with the 2 of them would have been pretty hellish
• an extra 6 months at home with them in the summer would probably have been lovely
• I can barely remember what it was like to have very small children, I should have cherished it more.

As a side note can I work where that poster works and get 45k take home for a 45k salary 😂

Keep your foot in the door. It's hard to re- enter the workplace when your skills are out- of -date and parental duties make the logistics tricky. Also, protect yourself financially in case of a relationship breakdown.

Work two days per week - for variety and keeping your job open.

Income tax…?!

Have you looked at cheaper childminders? I think some of these very glossy nurseries are a very expensive way to care for children. They will have huge mortgages or rents on their buildings, so a big slug of what you are paying for is the building & not the care. If you choose a childminder all the money is actually funding the care.

Also a salary "in the 20s" is barely above minimun wage. In London £45k is not a high salary, we pay the exec assistants (secretaries in old terms!) at our work more than that. Can you look for a job paying a bit more? Or is it something like public sector where your pension is very valuable?

Yes it’s hilarious - why don’t they get that you are talking about fees incurred from post tax income

I don’t understand why some posters are doubting your maths here - firstly I’m sure its entirely true - and I know it’s believable because it’s the same for me- albeit in London fees for one toddler is coming to £2,200pcm = £26.4K p/a of post tax income

your post is simply a post about how crazy costs are

How could I know that nursery fees would increase so much that I would be paying more with the 30 “free” hours than before they were applied? I would love to have your crystal ball!

It still costs, being at home with the kids. You'll want to go to groups, have days out etc which will all add up.
Keep working but look to condense your hours if you can. This time will pass.

Have you thought about employing a nanny? I don't know the going rate but is that an option? Or a nanny share? I know women who have done this- one nanny and a child from one family goes to the house of the other family (sometimes taking turns.)

If it would be easy to find a job in your field, I would be tempted to be a SAHM if you can afford to live off your OH salary. It would be a lot less stressful. I have friends who did this as the constant sickness and bugs from nursery and having to take time off was jeopardising their career anyways.

Sorry to pick you out, as you’re not the only one, but why can’t people read the thread or do maths?

OP said it was childcare AND getting to work. The £1k was one child - so two will be costing her significantly more.

Her salary is £45k, her take home after tax and pension will be around £33k.

So assume almost £2k on childcare and £400 on commuting – yes that does suck most of it up.

Your nursery sounds absurdly expensive op. You are also probably subsidising the costs of providing funded hours to younger babies. If you can look for a private school with a nursery department you many find its actually cheaper as you aren't subsidising the costs of caring for babies.

OP it’s rough. Childcare prices have gone up so much with cost of living crisis - I think for those who got out before this all hit they aren’t quite getting it. I too went through a period briefly of only covering childcare - in my case it spurred me on to move jobs tactically for raises. I appreciate that’s not possible in all industries. If you think you can do that or make it work with you taking time off I would make a change. It’s soul destroying being parted from your kids for no net financial benefit. Please ignore all the posters telling you it’s just what you have to expect etc, the situation is insane and the fact we don’t have better funded childcare and don’t pay childcare workers properly is a national disgrace. One which affects women and children much more than men.

When my older one was first enrolled 3 years ago it was expensive but more reasonable but I just can’t believe how quickly it’s spiralled and how much of an above average salary the fees now take up, even with “funding”!
And then everyone just goes well you’re lucky to get funding 🤦‍♀️

@oohlarlar

Not true, as we have found out.

Childminders will only be marginally less expensive because they’re self employed, have smaller settings and out of their daily fee comes the toys, resources, food and then their taxes/NI. They also have an expensive rent and mortgage to pay as does everyone else.

We have preferred them on having our last child purely because a smaller setting suited him but it was only marginally cheaper.

If it’s only a year and a half could you maybe see if work would let you do a 12 month unpaid career break? Then it’s only 6 months you’d need to pay for and you’d still be employed.

Nurseries aren’t allowed to charge top up fees anymore. Is this what they are doing?

You haven’t answered if you are applying tax free childcare saving.

That sounds awfully expensive. Where my son went it was around £800 a month before his free hours (admit it was loads cheaper than that for us because I worked there so got 50% off)that was less than a year ago.
If your eldest is over 3 are they going to school in September? Or do they have another year at nursery?
I'd probably suck up the cost. Or can you and DP do 4 days each so you're only paying 3 days childcare?
I think I'd be worried about getting back in to the job industry after time out but you know better than anyone else if it'd be easy to go back to your industry. If you and your partner are happy for you to stay at home for a while with the children it doesn't really matter about anyone else's opinion.

I hear you OP - my childcare bill cost more than £45k a year for two. I need to earn >£80k a year to pay it.

I don’t think people realise quite how much more expensive nurseries have become - there are none close to me now charging less than £2k a month. With funded hours you might get down to… £1.8k a month.

That’s actually not a bad thing to look into, I hadn’t thought of that!!

Well that’s my situ… I work 4 days per week for £40k. Childcare is £3300 per month. Salary is not. It’s infuriating, but I don’t want to lose my job forever by taking a year off.