My husband says I can't have a pottery wheel even though my neighbour has offered to let me keep it in her studio

[Observermum1]

I don't ask for much but really fancy a second hand pottery wheel. My husband says it's a waste of money and that I won't use it much. I feel really sad as I have fancied one for years. My neighbour has even offered to put it in her shed/studio as we don't have room for it. AIBU?

Maybe he’s saying fine, get another bloody hobby but I want to work less so if you’re going that we are releasing equity and moving. There. One explanation that doesn’t involve him being a dick.

Have you got for for bouncing from one thing to another?

Let his ‘thoughts’ stay in his head and you do what you want. You aren’t hurting anyone and it’s your money. He’s not your dad and you’re not his toddler.

If your first pot comes out a bit wonky, at least there will be a suitable head to smash it over.

We named them after him aswell (think something like his name is Pat, so we called them Patricia and Patty 🤣🤣🤣)

How much money has your DH actually 'made' from playing guitars? None I assume - you've not mentioned if he plays in a band.
I say just buy it, use it, sell what you make alongside your art and be even more successful. What he thinks is nothing to do with you having a wheel, your buying it from your art business and thus saving tax I assume, and it's an asset you could sell. Instead I'd encourage him to make money from his hobby. Busking perhaps?

@Riaanna totally get that you might be a bored teenager on school holidays enjoying goading on the internet. But the weather is lovely - get outside. Go and ride a bike, or go to the park 🙂

Only someone very hard of understanding, or deliberately obtuse and wanting to rile people could think:

A&B run a joint business
A can spend whatever they want, including £6k on guitars l
B must be taking the piss if they want to buy something for £350
Whilst also ignoring that B sells artwork and has their own savings from the sales of said artwork.

Your mental gymnastics to create and justify your ridiculous narrative is funny, but also totally unhelpful to OP.

Careful that stretch doesn't bring on a trapped sciatic nerve 🤣

Doesn’t matter if she does. It’s not going to be in their home and it’s really none of his business.

Nope. Nothing. Not a penny.

Maybe he is and if you want to ask those questions to clarify go for it.

Then you repeat this bit of info and ask why he’s got a problem with you spending £350!!!

He's probably spent more than that. I'm someone who has too many guitars myself and have had lots of conversations with people who have lied/downplayed the cost of their own collection to their partners.

There is no way he should be dictating how you spend your money, especially as you don't ask for much. It's a bargain, something you want, and could possibly be bringing in more money in the future.

I don't understand his storming out, do you not stand up to or question him very often? I'd personally buy the wheel, no matter what he says. He is being ridiculous.

I don’t know why you are even asking . You want it , you earn money , you will get enjoyment from the purchase and potentially make money . It is not in his power to deny you this just because he doesn’t deem it necessary.

Is he being weird and controlling about you potentially spending time at your neighbours

For me it's not about the money but more the impracticality of it being in a neighbours property.

These things rarely tend to work out as intended.

Why are you the only one on here who is being confrontational. I see absolutely nothing in OP’s posts for you to have this view which jarrs against everybody else’s? Are you the husband or something?😄

That’s for OP and the neighbour to deal with.

Here’s the thing.

I asked perfectly reasonable questions to find out if he is indeed a dick.

Others assumed he is.

A&B run a joint business. Suppose he is a plumber. And does all the work. And the joint element is literally her signing the books once a year but that’s it. Or she answers the odd email. But 98% of the work is him.
A buys guitars but he is supporting the entire household and B contributes nothing. She paints. And makes the odd bit of money.
B has over the years spent thousands on her art and doesn’t work because artist.
B has made peanuts on art and although has saved it she also contributes near enough zero to the household.

Now I don’t know if that’s the case. It’s the alternative to what you’ve assumed. Something you also don’t know.

What you will note is that while you and others have advice I did not. I tried to establish the big picture before giving advice. Because that’s the balanced thing to do. Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps she does and always has contributed. Perhaps it is a 50/50 business and her art work is part of the household. Perhaps he is just unfair. And if that’s the case my advice would differ greatly than if the alternative is correct.

Just because you and others have assumed a narrative doesn’t mean I have. Hence no advice given yet.

What view? That getting all the facts before forming a view is the right approach?

How? Why should it be impractical. It might be dead easy.

Personally I would tell him that you intend on getting the wheel and if he kicks up, I would put one of his guitars on Ebay, sell it, and use the money for all the accessories and clay and the potters wheel.

Why are you taking it all so personally. OP is an artist and would like a pottery wheel for a hobby. Neighbour has said she is welcome to have it at theirs. Chill out.

You are your own person with your own savings, you don't need permission from your husband.

It's not often we get the person being talked about pop up... in this case the husband !

That's reported speech. People are not precise in reported speech. Would you be amazed if someone reported that and it turned out their words were something like "it won't work until we move house"?

It's a simple question, I don't know why the OP isn't clarifying what exactly he said.