My husband says I can't have a pottery wheel even though my neighbour has offered to let me keep it in her studio

[Observermum1]

I don't ask for much but really fancy a second hand pottery wheel. My husband says it's a waste of money and that I won't use it much. I feel really sad as I have fancied one for years. My neighbour has even offered to put it in her shed/studio as we don't have room for it. AIBU?

Go for it OP! Your money, your hobby and you have a clear purpose why you want the wheel. Throwing is something you really want to practise and with a cheap wheel and the kindness of your neighbour, you can practise as much as you want. I have attended throwing courses at a studio and would love to have a wheel at home but it is impossible in a city apartment.

1. If you are a solid, talented productive pottery artist and can make money out of it, then why not
2. If it is just occasional hobby for you and you don't use it ( why don't you use it really) and the husband incomes covers all expenses and he feels he cannot invest in this for you - then nobody can do a thing.

@Observermum1 If you do not buy the bloody thing, then I will buy it for you and rent it out to you for a peppercorn rent of a penny a year. Just buy it, he is not the boss of you. As to moving it in, I am sure you know enough other strapping men to do this for you.

As Nike would say... just do it!

The point is that there isn’t sufficient information on this post to offer any useful advice.

Maybe don't give it then?
Just a thought.

And, I look forward to you making Keith cry on the Pottery Throwdown.

Life is too short- get the pottery wheel for yourself!

OP you don’t need his permission to have a harmless hobby. If it was on your kitchen table and you were using the oven as a kiln then fair enough there would be some rational push back, but you’re not doing that. I can see no harm in what a pottery wheel at a neighbour’s is doing to anybody.

Give me one, just one, example from my post that was an assumption.

Have read the thread now. Buy it. Men like that are a disgrace and should not be married to talented artists.

It doesn't fucking matter.

It would matter if he did not share completely with her

The opening phrase “ husband won’t let me…” immediately angered me - unless it was followed by “ to become a serial killer/arsonist” or “to become a professional gambler “.
mind you, I haven’t read the full thread yet 😁

I can see that you might not realistically use it as much as you think you might, if it's in your neighbour's shed, but it's mean of him to try to stop you from buying one, considering how much he's spent on his guitar hobby (which probably brings in no money, unlike your hobbies).

It's disappointing that he's not more supportive, but I wouldn't allow him to stand in my way. He doesn't get final say. It's £350, not £35,000, and it sounds like you can afford it. If not, you can probably sell it for as much and get the money back, as it's a good deal.

Wow - I'm picking the worst threads to read today. Men can be truly bloody awful.

Enjoy the wheel & making beautiful things with it!

BUY IT RIGHT NOW.
I hope you get lots of joy from it x

I bet none of his guitars are as cheap as this pottery wheel. OP, go for it.

Then I don’t understand why you are asking his permission!

He stormed out when you said you could keep it at the neighbours house because he ran out of reasons to justify saying no. Why he wouldn’t want you to have something you enjoy and is a healthy hobby, I don’t know 🤷‍♀️

Just crack on and buy it.

I’m sorry, he want? He stormed out of the house?
What a drama llama.
He just didn’t like it when you had a solution and made it harder for him to lay down the law.
Fuck him, buy the wheel, enjoy it.

None so blind as will not see. You're just making a fool of yourself. I am very far-seeing thank you and I would hate to be spouting the tripe that you are. I'd frankly be embarrassed.

If you don't want to give advice, why not scroll on by instead of asking daft questions!

It's up to the OP to decide whether it's a good idea to buy the wheel. It's none of your damn business and it's not what she asked. As for "narrative", maybe come back when you have one.

And you’re “not allowed” your chosen creative item..? I’m sorry, are you able to veto his purchases in the same way or does he truly believe he is above you and can make decisions your behalf?

Are you also not allowed to stay out past 12, or anything else he seems he has a right to decide all on his own?

He is. How dare he?

Your money… your choice.

Is he like this in other aspects of your relationship?

I literally didn’t.

OMG!

Yet get stormed out of the house when you said you had some place to keep it, defeating his 'no place to put it' argument.

I think you have some serious issues there....

Can you suggest getting g it but agree that if you don't regularly use it after six months it gets put up for sale?