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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a driving instructor to ring the doorbell?

314 replies

NotTonightDeidre · 07/04/2025 09:15

Just that really. DS missed a driving lesson this morning because he wasn't awake. The driving instructor text him to say he was outside. He didn't call his phone or ring our doorbell.

I get that it's DS' responsibility to be at the lesson, but if it were me I'd just ring/knock when it's a pick up from home.

Is it really that unreasonable to get out of the car & walk 10 steps to the front door?

OP posts:
Peawhack · 07/04/2025 09:16

My driving instructor never got out the car, just sent a text and beeped the horn.

Octavia64 · 07/04/2025 09:17

The instructor probably gets this a lot.

my son is a music teacher in a school. It’s part of the deal that the kid turns up on time. He’ll go looking for them the first time they don’t turn up but after that it’s their problem.

historyrepeatz · 07/04/2025 09:17

I though it was the norm to be ready and waiting for them as they arrived?

ScrewedByFunding · 07/04/2025 09:17

What and then the instructor just wants around whilst he gets up and ready?

You're cross at rhe wrong person and this will do your DS no favours.

toomuchfaff · 07/04/2025 09:18

The DI waits in the car.

You know they are coming, you watch out for them, and you go out to them.

Never in my life have I seen one get out the car and come to the door, I've had lessons myself, my son, we also have 4 neighbours with teens recently having DL.

Yoyr teen was in bed? And you having a tizz at the DI? your problem is with your golden child.
YABU

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 09:18

No, it’s the norm for the person to be ready, waiting and keeping an eye out for the instructor.

BlondeMummyto1 · 07/04/2025 09:18

Mine just expected me to be ready and waiting for him to turn up.

Your son should have been up, showered and waiting by the door.

He is likely to be charged for his time.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 07/04/2025 09:19

Well there's a lesson in time keeping for your child right there. I've never known a driving instructor to get out the car and knock on the door

LighthouseTeaCup · 07/04/2025 09:19

So if the driving instructor had rung the doorbell, your sleeping DS was ready for his lesson was he? 🤔

Or are you expecting the driving instructor to sit in your kitchen with a cuppa while your DS gets washed and dressed, has breakfast... ?

BBT213 · 07/04/2025 09:19

He was there on time, your son wasn't

Yet the instructor is at fault??? Way to go bringing up an entitled son.

Plus the thought of being in a car with a lad who hasn't even got up and had a shower...yuk

Marchitectmummy · 07/04/2025 09:19

Driving instructors have always just waited on their car, DS has now learnt to be awake when he should be.

PooksBear · 07/04/2025 09:20

Mine waited outside. 30 years ago

PiastriThePastry · 07/04/2025 09:20

I have never known an instructor to get out of the car, it’s on the student to get their arse in gear (pun intended!) and be ready and waiting. It’s really not asking very much to expect your son to be ready to go at his allotted lesson time, ridiculous really that he was still asleep. The fact you’ve posted this does go some way to explain why this has happened though I suppose…

LaMarschallin · 07/04/2025 09:20

"wasn't awake" - asleep, then.
Presumably the appointment was booked and DS knew when it was going to happen?
Is it really that unreasonable to expect him not to sleep in and take responsibility for being ready?

BlondeMummyto1 · 07/04/2025 09:20

The instructor might not come back for a further lesson. I hope your son has contacted them and apologised.
What a waste of their Monday morning.

londongirl12 · 07/04/2025 09:20

Your DS wasn’t up anyway, even if he had rang the doorbell.

EilishMcCandlish · 07/04/2025 09:21

It is not the instructor's job to have to ring your doorbell to wake your son for a driving lesson. If he isn't even out of bed when the lesson is meant to start, he is wasting the instructor's time hanging around waiting for him to get dressed and awake enough for his lesson.

I hope your son is still charged for the lesson and learns a life lesson in not wasting other people's time.

MinnieCauldwell · 07/04/2025 09:21

He is old enough to drive he is old enough to get himself ready and waiting. The DI has lost money, your son needs to pay him. It's not like the DI could go and take someone else out instead is it?

Original poster
NotTonightDeidre · 07/04/2025 09:21

It's his 3rd lesson. His first one, the instructor was 10 minutes late. He was ready & waiting as he was for his second.

I just don't see the harm in ringing a doorbell.

OP posts:
HelenWheels · 07/04/2025 09:21

the driving instructor waits in the car
time is of the essence

Coffeeishot · 07/04/2025 09:22

You are joking right ? Your son wasn't up and that's the driving instructors responsibility!

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 09:22

Is it his boss’s fault if he misses work because he “wasn’t awake” too?

Talk about a pandered to teenager!

Your DS is lazy and has poor time keeping, that’s more your fault than the driving instructor. It’s not their responsibility to wake your almost adult child for his commitments.

BlondeMummyto1 · 07/04/2025 09:22

NotTonightDeidre · 07/04/2025 09:21

It's his 3rd lesson. His first one, the instructor was 10 minutes late. He was ready & waiting as he was for his second.

I just don't see the harm in ringing a doorbell.

What difference would it make? He was asleep.

crumblingschools · 07/04/2025 09:22

I wouldn’t want someone driving minutes after waking up. Teen needs to take responsibility. If he is going to be responsible behind a wheel he needs to be able to be responsible to get up on time

Twinty2 · 07/04/2025 09:22

I have 3 instructors and none of them have knocked on even once.