To expect a driving instructor to ring the doorbell?

[NotTonightDeidre]

Just that really. DS missed a driving lesson this morning because he wasn't awake. The driving instructor text him to say he was outside. He didn't call his phone or ring our doorbell.

I get that it's DS' responsibility to be at the lesson, but if it were me I'd just ring/knock when it's a pick up from home.

Is it really that unreasonable to get out of the car & walk 10 steps to the front door?

I do think the instructor could have made more of an effort to make contact with your son. And yes, ideally your son should be ready and waiting but I don’t think expecting the instructor to call, after the text went unanswered, is asking too much.

Your son was asleep when the lesson was due to start.

If your son can't be up, showered and ready for the driving instructor to come, he's not mature enough to be having driving lessons and I don't want him on the road thanks

parents like you are the absolute worse. Blame everyone and anyone but your child 🤦🏻‍♀️

Was the instructor also to wait for him to wake up and get ready?
Mine never left his car.

How much do driving lessons cost these days? I paid £8 an hour, but that was in the olden days.

Whatever the cost, I know it isn't cheap. Why on earth anybody would want to pay somebody that hourly rate to sit around and wait for them to wake up and be ready is baffling.

I also agree with PP: when you've been driving for a long time and it's second nature to you, you still need a little while to properly wake up and become sentient before driving safely; but when you're still learning and it's all new to you, you need to be extremely mentally and physically alert before even considering getting behind the wheel.

Thus he needed to have been awake and composing himself for probably an hour or so before the lesson; not still asleep as it was due to start.

Yes this he isn't mature enough for driving lessons.

I learnt to drive in the 90s where the DI would just turn up at my appointment time, with me hovering around 10 mins before looking out the front window.

Definitely not the DI fault your ds didn't get up in time.

OMG @NotTonightDeidre this is entirely your DS’s fault.

He wants to learn how to drive but he doesnt know how to set an alarm?!

🙈

Sometimes we need help. Alarms often don't wake kids/teens. Including smoke alarms too.

Well, he's not a "kid/teen" if he's learning to drive, is he?
He's in his late teens.
Smoke alarms don't come into it. They're unexpected. Your DS knew he had an appointment booked.
If he's not responsible enough to even get ready for a lesson in time, is he responsible enough to drive safely?

Expensive life lesson.

Indeed.
Hope he's the one paying, not you.

@IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta about £80 for 2 hours

The whole point is he shouldn’t have to ring the doorbell.
As for instructor being late, that’s normal as sometimes it’s down to traffic/ travel between lessons.

Your DS should have been up and waiting, looking out the window.

DI can be late due to traffic etc, they will allow for an extended lesson if they have the time or work it in to the next one.

You need to be waiting for your lesson at home, ready. My DI always text and used his app to also notify me. Never has he ever rung my doorbell.

Nope, they never get out of the car that I have known of.

They don’t knock; it’s basic timekeeping, driving instructors expect you to be ready and waiting for them to arrive. I don’t see how even ringing the bell would’ve helped here anyway if he was fast asleep. This is a life lesson for DS, unfortunately.

Instructor could have rung the doorbell (but they don't) but it would still be your son who at fault for missing either the whole lesson or a large chunk of it.

My teachers never got me out of bed to go to school either

What the fuck is this? This cannot be real 🤦🏻‍♀️

YABU.

It’s not the driving instructors job to wake up your son, he should be up & waiting for the driving instructor.

Your teen better start getting more organised. How will he manage in the real world!

If his alarm doesnt wake him get a different one, even a vibrating pillow one or whatever or he will be late for his job. When he gets one. You can’t blame the alarm. He needs to man up

Who is paying for his lessons? If it’s you I’d be inclined to tell him he pays himself from now in due to his disorganised attitude and you will consider reimbursing.

Kids these days.
They have no clue about life and don’t give a crap.

back in the day Id be standing at the window watching and waiting for my instructor. He didn’t leave the car just wave. That was in the day before mobile phones. Your so needs a good rocket up his lazy arse. I hope the instructor still gets paid for his time. Even if your son wasn’t bothered.

Whew! I'd really want my money's worth for that - as in the skills that only the driving instructor can offer - not just to pay that rate to somebody to sit in a parked car, which I can already well do myself, should I wish to!

Exactly. And it’s really not a great attitude to teach young adults that the world needs to accommodate their mistakes. I see this a lot at work, they turn up to work and get in to disciplinaries and can’t take accountability as ‘it’s not my fault the traffic was bad, or that the train was cancelled’ multiple times but don’t care that the world doesn’t stop running when they’re absent.

You'd think.

Tell your lazy ass son to set an alarm.

Who is paying for the driving lessons, you or him?

If you usually pay for them, make him pay for this one. Then hopefully he will make sure he is awake next time his driving instructor shows up at the pre-agreed time.

When will parents start expecting their offspring to take responsibility for themself?