To expect a driving instructor to ring the doorbell?

[NotTonightDeidre]

Just that really. DS missed a driving lesson this morning because he wasn't awake. The driving instructor text him to say he was outside. He didn't call his phone or ring our doorbell.

I get that it's DS' responsibility to be at the lesson, but if it were me I'd just ring/knock when it's a pick up from home.

Is it really that unreasonable to get out of the car & walk 10 steps to the front door?

They always wait in the car. Does Ds expect his teachers to come and get him in school- nope! Besides they won’t leave the car unattended if at all avoidable. That’s their living they need to keep safe after all. If they knock for one every one will expect it.

This! ⬆️

There is a difference between the instructor being late ( due to other traffic, road accident etc ), than still asleep in bed.
Even if instructor had rung bell, your son would have to waken fully and get washed and dressed before proceeding on said lesson which would probably have cut the lesson by around 20 minutes minimum.

I live in a rural area. My instructor doesn't come to the house, waits in town at a certain place in local town. He doesn't go looking for you. Even if he's just 5 mins late he will texts me. I'd do the same. He allows someone to cancel at last minute/not turn up without a proper reason(hes pretty reasonable) twice before he stops the lessons. He's told me about young ones not putting the effort in/caring. The ones where the parents pay and want it, more than the teenagers. Don't let it happen again, cause they aren't short of people wanting lessons.

My son is currently having lessons and they are usually 10am, if we’re not home to make sure he’s up I drum it into him to set multiple alarms on his phone and Alexa too as I know he likes a lie in on his days off college!
His instructor never gets out and has at most text to say she was outside, that seems to be pretty standard.
So far he’s been ready on time but did oversleep for a shift at work recently as his phone did an update and turned itself off (hence now using Alexa alarm too) They have to learn to start managing themselves at 17 and taking responsibility.

I expect, after reading all the comments, you are now aware that it is NOT customary for driving instructors to get out of cars to ring doorbells. They usually have back to back clases (which might explain why he was 10 minutes late once ..traffic?). Your son should be up and ready for his lesson everytime, like all the other pupils. No discussion.

Instructors don’t necessarily have to get out of the car to let the pupil drive. I have long legs, and became quite adept at climbing into the passenger seat from the driver’s seat. (Obviously the pupil went round the outside.)

I could even drive the car from the passenger seat using the dual controls. It’s not possible to go fast, but it’s useful for demonstrating manoeuvres, or helping the pupil out of a tight spot. But that’s another debate…

My instructor 20 years ago always had another pupil pick up/drop off, I hated it!

it is not customary for them to ring your doorbell and I do think your DS is at fault for not being out of bed. However you have paid (in advance) for the instructor’s time, so I actually think they should come to the door out of courtesy.

Nope. My lessons were years ago and instructor literally pulled up in the car and waited outside house. No mobiles so no ringing or texting. If you didn't appear within 10 mins they left

My driving instructor never rang the bell - which was good as I booked 7am lessons and had a sleeping baby at home. I would watch for him to pull up and run out the door. Once my daughter woke up at the wrong moment and it took me a minute to hand her over to my husband and my driver was about to pull away when I ran out. This is very much normal.

But your son was asleep. Was the instructor supposed to wait for him to get up?

I had a similar situation with a Plumb's representative who rang my phone and said he was outside and asked what he should do. I said just ring my bell. Not sure what he was expecting but I was a bit surprised. Did I say the wrong thing?

Is DS was asleep he’d have missed most the lesson anyway. If they’ve arranged to meet outside then that’s that.

A total no, no these days! It was called piggy backing and no instructor should be doing that these days! I had the same when I was learning and like you I hated it.

I feel sorry for any future employer of this golden child, if this is his upbringing.