To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

[TheUmberFawn]

Went to a busy café at lunchtime. One table was occupied by a mum with a large pram taking up the space of two chairs. There were no other free tables, so I asked politely if she could move it so I could sit. She gave me a dirty look and mumbled something about needing space. I get that babies come with stuff but why should that mean no one else can sit? AIBU for asking?

Yabvu
just go to another cafe if there’s not any seats available, instead of disturbing a mum and her baby when she’s just probably just trying to catch a break for 5 mins.
honestly, so entitled.

One person at a table for six - acceptable to ask to share.

One person at a table for two - not acceptable.

Is my view, anyway.

You buy food, not a table. You can sit wherever there is a space.

I did once have a lady moan at me about not moving my three year old from our table for 2 because “I have sore legs and I need that seat, she can sit on your knee”

Lol. People are insane.

That’s not my understanding - the seat was free.

She said the pram was parked where the seat usually is. So it wasn’t free.

But if the baby had been in a high chair, that would probably have been in the space that the second chair would have occupied anyway. So you still wouldn’t have been able to sit down. If the baby had been in a high chair you wouldn’t (I hope) have asked her to move it to make room for you. So asking her to move the pram was unreasonable as well.

YABU. You were rude and entitled. If there's no table available, you either wait for one or go elsewhere. You don't just impose yourself on a stranger of your choosing.

which isn’t unusual in busy cafés.

Are you sure about that? I find it quite unusual.

It was a 2 person table with 2 people sitting there. There was not a free space, even if nobody was sat on the chair. The table was at capacity.

Are you saying that every single other seat was taken? Every table of 4 had exactly 4 people on? None with only 3? There were no groups of 5 seated at tables of 6?

I'd be really surprised if there literally wasn't a single empty chair. People don't only eat in groups the right sizes to fill tables to their maximum capacity.

I suspect it's actually the case that you would not walk up to a group of 5 and ask to sit at the remaining sixth seat, because you do know that asking to sit with people is weird.

It would have been more reasonable though, as they would have at least had a space free.

YABVU

Goodness me! You’re being v unreasonable. She probably only wanted five minutes of peace not to have to share a table with a stranger, and have to move to accommodate them. It probably took her ages to navigate through all the tables with a buggy in the first place. Just wait for a table next time. I’d have been annoyed if I were her too.

She paid for stuff to eat and sat down before you; you can’t just use her table if she wants time to herself with the baby.

If she wants time to herself with her baby she can go home.

Since when did a cafe/coffeeshop/lunch place double up as a creche?!

I presume OP was also there to have a drink and eat? Maybe had arranged to meet with a friend/mum/work colleague...

If the establishment cannot run on a profit - pay rent, utilities, wages etc. - then they fold and nobody wins.

YABU Quite clearly you are unreasonable for encroaching on a mother sitting at a table with her baby.

Me either - l love chatting to new people but not if l have shoehorned my way in to their space like this!

In your original post you said there was a woman sat at a table and her pushchair was taking up the space of two chairs.

Then in your second post you said it was a two person table.

So two person table means two charis? So the woman was using one chair and her pushchair was taking up just one space?

YABU for exaggerating how many spaces were being taken up by the pushchair which may influence the outcome of the vote and YABVU for not asking first if it was OK for you to share the table.

What are you talking about? How does the OP not being able to sit at a 2 person table that was already occupied affect the bottom line of the cafe? And if OP was meeting someone, where would they have sat?

If that parent had been with a friend I bet they would have moved the pram to the side so that the friend could sit down.

Yes - this is how a cafe works.

Errr this.

Plus it's first come, first served. So no l won't move my child and / or pram or high chair for someone who came later. They would probably hate me anyway as l have twins so yeah we would take up 3 spaces

It’s also normal to ask ‘Do you mind if I sit here?’ - rather than saying ‘Can you move your pram so I can sit here?’.

Maybe she wanted some quiet time looking at a different four walls?

Give the baby a spoon with puree on it. You can bet the table crasher would end up wearing it.

I'd have looked around, realised the cafe was full, then either found another one or taken my food away and gone and sat somewhere outside or even in my car.

She's a longstanding poster and she's entitled to her opinion even if it differs from yours.

Both phrases are polite.

Well that’s assuming there was room for the pram to be moved in the first place. If there was, it’s likely the friend would have held the baby whilst the pram was being folded, which is always strenuous. Friend also would have been available to help with the baby, so the mother could have a break. It’s a completely different scenario to sharing a 2 seater table with a stranger, whilst trying to wrangle a baby and pram and potentially a high chair.

A creche is somewhere to leave a baby or small child. A paying customer who happens to have a child with them is still a paying customer, who has as much right as any other to a table to themselves - and more right to the table than the OP, seeing as the woman already sitting at the table had got there first. OP should have waited or gone elsewhere. Or, if she really wanted a table in that cafe at that time, either arrived earlier or made a reservation.

If I'm out somewhere with my DC, I probably want to spend time with them and anyone else we might be meeting, not with random strangers trying to impose themselves on us.