DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

[Roosch]

Would you be happy for your DH to buy his ex (mother of DSD) flowers on Mother’s Day?

Just saw that he basically got her the same thing as me. He did not tell me he was going to do this.

For background, DSD is 10, and we have 2 young children together.

I’m not sure how to feel, and just hoping for general advice.

You admire a man who keep sleaving the second wife to look after all the kids on their own while they swan off?

Yes she should but does he have no role? The child is there to see him but he is swanning off. What kind of father needs telling to spend time with their child? A crap one.

The bar for men is very low sadly even from other women.

It’s the right thing to do.
My childrens dad does absolutely nothing for me and never has and it’s disrespectful considering I do 99% of the parenting. It’s not a big deal as the rest of his behaviour is even worse but with my current partner I checked he had got flowers and a card for his children to give to their mum. He is a decent person so had done it. If your partner hasn’t done something to help his children get something for their mum surely that shows he is a rubbish dad? Unless she specifically doesn’t want anything. So it’s a good thing he got her flowers

He wanted to do it for the children’s sake

He didn’t tell you because he knew it would create drama

My ex bought me a £50 voucher for garden centre and a bunch of flowers!

Be very proud of him.

@Goldyyupwhere does it say that?!

Much rather this than a bloke who absconded from his first family without a glance back tbh

Proud of a guy who keeps leaving the second wife to look after all the kids on her own while he swans off?

The bar really is low.

I don't know anything about him obviously but acknowledging the mother of their daughter on mothers day is the act of a good man.

Well to be fair they’re classed as coming from the child as a present aren’t they not him…….

I don’t think your husband should be buying flowers for his ex. No. She isn’t his mum. What I do think is ok is letting his kid choose a small inexpensive gift / choc / flowers to give to their mother which he could pay for ( since kids don’t have their own money or ability to go and buy a gift)

No OP said husband sending from him not kid

It is not just an act in isolation. He is leaving his child to the care of the stepmum regularly while he swans off. A child who he already has limited time with. Does not sound like the act of a good father.

I think that’s a really thoughtful thing for him to do. I mean I wouldn’t expect him to still be doing it when his daughter is 16+, but now she’s young and he’s doing it on her behalf

I'm guessing his man logic was to get flowers from his kids to their mums. Probably viewing it as a present form the kids. Getting both the same doesn't show favouritism between his children to their respective mums.

I think you need to thi k of it not being a gift from dh to ex but from his dd to her mum

I've not read the full thread but in isolation, it's a good act. But yeah, if he's swanning off and dumping all his responsibilities on the OP then no, you're right, it isn't the act of a good father.

OP didn't actually say this and it's really weird you keep repeating it over and over. She said she often looks after the three kids. He could be there too for all we know.

She said this Currently am looking after all 3 kids (often do)

Sounds like she is doing it on her own. @Roosch are you regularly looking after the three kids on your own or is DH with you there taking equal responsibility meal prep, cooking, washing etc?

Still doesn't change the fact that he'd be slagged off for being an even worse Father if he hadn't bought anything for his ex from their child on Mother's Day!

@donaldtrumponlyhasonedancemove OP said she is looking after the 3 children (as she often does) and wouldn’t have been a stepmother if she had her time again. Doesn’t sound as if she is having a great time

The flowers were from him not the child.

Ah, this isn’t good. At all.

Do you think if this wasn’t happening you’d be upset about the flowers? It looks like you’re put upon a lot.

Well he’s going to have to send them isn’t he unless the kid has a credit card and job ffs