DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

[Roosch]

Would you be happy for your DH to buy his ex (mother of DSD) flowers on Mother’s Day?

Just saw that he basically got her the same thing as me. He did not tell me he was going to do this.

For background, DSD is 10, and we have 2 young children together.

I’m not sure how to feel, and just hoping for general advice.

Presumably you don’t have children? Most 10year olds would be a bit out of their depth going to the shops and buying stuff on their own. Some of them probably won’t be allowed out alone anyway, depending on their proximity to shops.
As for making things, maybe the child isn’t artistic, or handy. Not everyone can knock up a quick card or present! You need card, glue, a ruler, pencils, paints/coloured pencils, at the very least, just to start. Not to mention something to put on the front, maybe needing glitter.

I think the dad was right to help his daughter. She would probably have been worried about it without her dad’s help. I think you sound a bit jealous!

That's a sweet thing to do and I'd think he was decent man.

I agree, wouldn't be impressed.

Why are you looking after HIS child?
Another skivvy aupair caught by a man avoiding parenting his own children?

Perhaps you need to have a hard look at your situation OP.

Him and his Ex must be thrilled to have free childcare in you.

Find some self respect and backbone and start looking after you.

If you are doing a huge amount of childcare, then he certainly isn't a good husband or father.

Most poor women soft enough to get caught like you, deeply regret their life choices.
You are not alone in that.

Like so many seemingly straightforward things, it sounds like the flowers - on the face of it a non issue - are a bit of a smokescreen for other issues.
Do you feel he takes advantage of you OP?

He's wishing the mother of his children a happy mother's day.

You sound spoilt and petulant

Not if
a) they were from his kids and
b) he bought me some if we had kids together.

It sounds as though he is trying to support both sets of DC in recognising their mums. This is not the hill of jealousy to die on.

What's he done all the other years?

I think it's lovely that he does, recognising the mother of his children.

Honestly can't see the problem with this, and actually think it's nice. Okay, he got you both the same thing virtually but I really think that's okay. Men aren't always creative or thoughtful in that way.
He is just showing respect and acknowledging the love and efforts of both mothers of his children on Mother's Day. Not sure why he'd have to tell you he was going to buy his ex flowers for Mother's Day when they share a child together, especially as others have pointed out that their child is too young to do this themselves. Why should he have explicitly told you? I think it probably points to him being a decent human being, to be honest.

I agree.

Methinks you are jealous of ex-wife, op. That's not good.

I see this time and time again on here. Men who rope another woman into looking after their children.

He wishes the ex a happy mothers day while getting his current wife to look after their child.

Yup! 2, 3 what's the difference?
🙄

Wondering how often he doesn't manage to see his oldest & what he's doing instead.

I think we have all worked out that this is not about the flowers.
OP, why don't you tell us what's really going on?

I would actually tell him to if he did not automatically do this- she is the mother of his child

He was quite right to send the mothers of all his children flowers on mother's day.

Sends a good message to the kids.

I assume they were on his daughter's behalf, since a ten year old couldn't do it online and might not yet be able to go shopping by herself. (We don't know.)

He probably did a quick and straightforward buy two lots of flowers all at once thing. Hardly romantic, but got it done. Many here got sweet FA.

He should have told you he was sending flowers for her.

He didn't - because he knew how you'd react. It was presented as a simple done deal, rather than a 'shall I?' with conversations.

You chose a man with presumably a very young still dependent child. That comes with stuff.

Does it come with her being regularly left with all the children while he swans off?

Op, this isn’t about you and her being equal in his eyes or emotions. It’s about you being equally loved by your children.

Decent men do not swan off regularly during contact time and leave their child with the SM.

Agreed. I wouldn’t be pleased if my DH bought an XW the exact same bouquet as he did for me.

Reason 6846 why I refused to date men with children when I was single—there isn’t a clean break with the XW like there is with XGFs with no shared children.

I think it’s the right thing to do. My ex abused me horribly, I still facilitate my 8 and 6yo buying Father’s Day gifts and cards. I will do until they’re older.

He doesn’t even get them to make me a card. Let alone buy one, it stings a little I won’t lie. Doesn’t feel nice to be so unappreciated. And it upsets our children greatly.

But something tells me this isn’t about the flowers, there’s bigger issues at play. Why are you looking after his children without any thanks?

No, you should get far superior flowers and her just a few dandelions ripped out of the lawn 🙄

How anyone could be pissed off at DH for attempting to be a good father is beyond me.

Decent human beings do not leave their child to the SM to regularly look after with already limited contact time.

How is he a good father when he regularly leaves OP to look after all the children? His child is there to see him not the OP.

Manpanderers? Jesus wept. I buy my ex husband a birthday gift and father's day presents from my son. What does that make me? My DP doesn't care one jot, because he's not an insecure melt