Father of the child and his family forcing me into getting an abortion

[OneAquaShaker]

A bit of back story, me and the father met in December so I know in terms of timing it is unconventional and not how I planned on becoming pregnant. We were in a relationship together and found out I was pregnant at the end of February when we found out me and the father were both over the moon and he asked me not to get an abortion. Up until the 8 week mark we have been discussing our future together and how excited we are to be parents. Fast forward to last Saturday the conversation came up to why I decided to come off the depo injection this time last year and I was honest and said its because at the time I was in a long term relationship where we both thought pregnancy was our next step but ultimately it didn't work out as he was abusive. From then the father and his family have made claims that I've baby trapped him and all I wanted out of him was to get pregnant. This is not the case I made the father aware when we first met I wasn't on contraception and he made no effort to protect himself, they've also claimed im unfit to be a mum as me and my family went over to his house to have a conversation about the situation and once we got there, I was shouted at and blamed by his parents and due to being shouted at I got upset and cried, his step dad then made a comment about how if this situation is stressing me am I sure im fit to raise a baby, they also tried to claim that I didn't tell the father I wasn't on contraception which isn't true, at no point have I said to the father that he needs to stick around I have asked him if he will be there to support me and the baby and he has made it clear he wants nothing to do with me and that I'm ruining his life and I needed to pick whether I wanted him or the baby and has told me I need to abort the baby multiple times, I have made it clear to him what my views on abortion are and told him it's my reproductive right to have this baby and its down to him if he's going to step up and be a father. I've been told I'm delusional and that I'm a manipulator and I'm abusing him. It's also come to my attention that one of his friends told him to try and convince me its my ex's child and not his so he can walk away with no ties to the baby. Am I being unfair to not have an abortion after originally being told to keep my pregnancy by the father and him being excited about and then changing his mind?

Stop with the inquisition! OP doesn't need to give you chapter and verse on her health and sex life.

If you have a supportive family, this will really help. From this point on, assume you are a single parent. I’m not going to tell you you’re silly for leaving contraceptives up to the man, but learn from that. They should take responsibility, but we are the ones who carry the children. It is our bodies at the end of the day. Also fuck his step dad, he sounds horrible.

It is needed. The poster seems to have been coerced into pregnancy

Where did you get that from??

It is not needed. It is none of anyone's business.

That poster appears intent on making up an entirely new narrative that is both offensive to people with autism and religious beliefs.

It is the posters parents driving this

Absolutely not. I am both pro-life, religious and have ND child, so quite curious actually

Stop making stuff up. It's embarrassing.

no it's not!
OP got pregnant her own self because she wanted a baby and now she's having one. All her own work!

There is much more to here, regarding the parents involvement that the poster can share because her life is controlled. She really should talk to her parents only for all this. It is them who are going to have the baby.

What’s that got to do with anything? It’s not how we live anymore, and her actions have shown she’s not a responsible person or else she wouldn’t have gotten knocked up by what’s a complete stranger.shes not even known him 4 months.

You're being weird

My parents had known each other for three weeks when my mum accidentally got pregnant. She was 19 and lived at home and had a menial job, so her circumstances were even worse than OP's. My parents have now been together 55 years. The point I'm therefore making is just because we don't live like that anymore doesn't mean women of OP's age are suddenly incapable of looking after a child. Yet everyone's acting like OP's going to be the worst mum ever. It's offensive to young mums and single parents.

Have I missed a post?? I read it that the OP wanted a baby and her parents are supportive. Not that the parents made her get pregnant?!

It is absolutely your decision.

However, be aware that families such as this can completely change their tactics once a child is born - the child becomes an item they wish to 'win' at all costs.

This could mean demands for 50:50 or even sole residence, blocking wishes to move, deliberately inconvenient contact times, refusals to return the child, interfering with school choices, medical care, dietary decisions, making reports to Social Services, constant attempts at creating discord and parental alienation, claiming child benefit, reports of fraud, etc, etc. All entirely separate to payment or non payment of child support.

It is worth seriously considering what the future/the next 18 years might look like for you if they decide to act in this way.

I don’t see anything in OPs original post and furthers posts that suggests that she is being controlled by her family. Please quote the things she has said that lead you to your strong belief that she is being controlled by her DPs.

Please explain yourself! I do not
understand why you have come to such strange and outlandish conclusions and why you think that anything you have posted is going to be of any useful information to OP.

OP, you've said that your parents are in their 40s.

Do they both work? Might one or both of them need to work in the future? If they are working, can they afford for one of them give up work to look after a baby while you work?

Do your earn enough to pay rent or get a mortgage if you plan to move out of your parents' home after a year or so to live independently? Do you earn enough to pay for child care if you are paying rent?

You can't assume that you will be housed by the LA/housing associations and private rents can be very high depending on where you live.

I don't see why both sets of parents needed to meet to discuss your situation - you are 24 and 26 - you are adults, not teenagers.

Do you have siblings still living at home.

Why would a 26 year old man think he was infertile?

Does he have a history of unprotected sex which has so far not resulted in a pregnancy?

Because both set of parents of really mature people ( 24 and 26 is totally mature adults for all cultures) to come together to discuss pregnancy plan. This is highly controlled environment for both young adults. I was 23 and very very poor and got pregnant at that age and nobody knew about my plans or what I would consider doing. It is was all between me and the man. I had much less support yet was mature to make my own decisions. My conclusion comes from also the total insecurity of the poster coming on this forum. If the parents gave green light, why she is insecure what to do. Also who on earth his parents and him think they are to demand an abortion and why this influenced so negatively the young lady if again, her mother is on board.....sounds almost like a battle of pro-life and pro-choice parties.

If it was me I would never on earth bring my parents to his home and wait for them to tell me any crap, leave alone to insult me , calling me mental case etc for the fact I just had fallen pregnant. Both parental parties are extremely controlling and so what is the reason. How also both their sets of parents are in so much control. This is not a 15 and a 16 year old teens.

so this is why I suggested the poster to go back and just ( and only!!!!) talk to her mum. She is the key to that baby coming and surviving atm - later the poster can move out if she wishes

Someone suggested I insult religious or autistic people having pregnancies. The opposite, the topic is of great interest to me and the topic might as well has a back story and more nuances - so this has to be insult why

There is also a layer of medical needs colliding with the contraception.....what was that all about. There is more to the story, according to me. If not according to other posters, move on past my posts.

Coerced?! The OP deliberately stopped taking precautions to get pregnant. She wants a baby. It didn't work with the first bloke so she tried with someone else who she barely new and bingo got pregnant (and maybe a few STIs along the way). It may be through naivety, immaturity or some kind of learning disability (or the most likely thing which should that this is a troll) but there is nothing in any of her posts that suggest she didn't know exactly what she was doing.

I already explained my points of view. My opinion is not important.