Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend

[Pumpkin05]

Long story short information has come to light someone I know was convicted and imprisoned for paedophile charges, some 20 years ago (Information is verifiable)
Flash forward he now has a wife and young child and takes said child to sports clubs and matches at the weekend.
AIBU to think this is strange, and not want my child to attend said sports matches with him there? or am I over-reacting?

He’s done his time.

Unnerving and unpleasant, but sadly there will be paedophiles around you everyday that you have no idea about! At least you know to treat this father with caution.

Well people have children and thry play sport this can't really be a surprise he managed to get a woman to have a child with him so what do you really expect? You can over or under react all you want what do you except to come from it?

Peadophiles cannot be rehabilitated.

I would be very around him.

I'm not sure why you think it is strange? Either rehabilitation has worked and he wants to be a good father or it hasn't. I wouldn't trust him with my child but the reality is there will be others in your town, you just don't know who they are.

I hear you @Pumpkin05 - I wouldn’t be comfortable either.
It’s irrelevant that there are likely to be paedophiles walking amongst us. You now know there is one and you know who it is and you can undo that bit of knowledge.
I presume he has not been castrated surgically or medically. Happy to be corrected that rehab works but I don’t think it does.

You can’t change the situation but as they say forewarned is forearmed
At least you know who he is

that’s the best you can do in the situation

Whilst it would make me uncomfortable, I don't think you should stop your child doing sports on this basis. At least you know who this guy is and can take care if necessary. You could go to a different sports club and you won't know

Exactly.

It isn't as though he nicked a laptop in his youth. This man destroyed the life of a child because he is evil and sick.

Yes, I can't guarantee that I don't unknowingly have pedophiles around me day to day... But once I became aware I would do everything in my power not to be anywhere near them.

They are some of the worst kind of people on earth and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near normal society.

I'm amazed at some of these relaxed responses. I wouldn't be happy about this at all. I don't know what you can do about it.

His poor child being around him. I do hope they’re safe from him. How can his wife stay with him too!

She'll no doubt know as she has a child.

I'll bet that he's said he was either falsely accused or the charges were exaggerated!

You don’t have to be his buddy
just you can’t ban an ex offender from normal daily life

Wtf! This isn’t petty crime or a driving offence, it’s a pedophile! Would you feel like that if it was your child at the club?

And I can tell you that paedophiles are everywhere. So the idea of you knowingly removing yourself from being there them is ridiculous.

My child did have one at their sports club it seems.
but no one knew at the time.

You’re on a hiding to nothing with this policy.

Obviously I’m not saying that one should not be wary around sex offenders but the idea of batting people from everyday life just makes them more likely to reoffend because nothing to lose

Practical things you can do:

You can obviously protect your child by making sure you don't leave them alone when its not safe to and talk to them in an age appropriate way about safety, that they know not to trust adults they don't know well. This will help protect them against all potentially dangerous adults, not just the one you know about.

Children's organised sports usually have very clear safeguarding arrangements so it is worth finding out what that is for your club and making sure you inform them of your concerns. The safeguarding lead will take appropriate actions.

Depending on the type of offences the Individual may still be on the register and may be monitored by the police. You can contact the police and inform them of your concerns, they may not be aware that he is attending the events and want to do further checks/disclosures.

Nothing you can do sadly

We did have a case of a an ex writing to a school to flag someone who had multiple allegations against them (but no actual convictions) they had a "stepchild" at the school and were going for a job..they never got the job the children at the school were in his usual target age range too

Personally, I would let the club know - such that if he volunteers to be coach, official or any role that brings him into contact with children they can refuse.

But I wouldn't ask that he doesn't attend. But it would make me very uncomfortable that he is making connections into other people's lives that may trust him with their children (and his own).

Oh cool! So prison-time cures paedophilia? You should tell all the psychologists of your amazing discovery.

Jfc

Just playing devils advocate here OP but how much of the circumstances of his offending are you actually aware of?

people may disagree with me but I’d argue that an 18 year old having sexual contact with his 15 year old girlfriend then this being reported to police is very different from the same 18 year old grooming them raping or sexually assaulting their 6 year old cousin.

Both are criminal offences, both would lead to the male in question being on the sex offenders register for offences against children.
I’d argue that these two men would present wildly different risks to very young children.

If he is still on the register then he may be subject to certain conditions.
ultimately though, there are genuinely paedophiles absolutely everywhere in society, your children will come into contact with many. Just make sure you safeguard them.

What’s the context of the offence 20 years ago? If is was an offence against a young child and he has a young child that is highly worrying although it should have been assessed by social workers, probation etc as long as they knew about it. Or was it an offence more along the lines of him being a young adult having an underage relationship - still not acceptable, but doesn’t necessarily mean they are a risk to young children - hence why they are able to bring one unsupervised to a sports group.

if you’re uncomfortable with your child being in that space, find another club. He has every right to be there with his child.

I think this is the pragmatic advice here.

Unless he is doing something wrong legally then the only thing you can do is decide not to go to the support or tolerate his presence.

I would be worried about my child befriending their child and the possibilities for future issues (omg that poor child).

Do the other parents know? Any friends of the peados child are potentially at risk and I would be concerned that the other parents didn't know so can't protect their child. It's horrible to have to say to not be friends with the child but I can't see many other options.

The fact that he had a child is a perfect opportunity to be around other children, very difficult situations.

Would definitely speak to police about it, possible nspcc too to get advice about if you should be informing anyone else.

And you know this how?
Are you a psychiatrist specialising in this particular field? Do you lecture on this from a place of research.
Or are you merely a faily dail, social media believer?