Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend

[Pumpkin05]

Long story short information has come to light someone I know was convicted and imprisoned for paedophile charges, some 20 years ago (Information is verifiable)
Flash forward he now has a wife and young child and takes said child to sports clubs and matches at the weekend.
AIBU to think this is strange, and not want my child to attend said sports matches with him there? or am I over-reacting?

I imagine if it's common knowledge among bored football mums or whatever then she knows.

I'd let the child's school, and the sports club, the police, and social services know that he was attending.

The child's school so they can ensure dad's not on any field trips etc and so they can keep an eye on the child for signs of abuse.

The issue is that a person’s sexual attraction is exactly that. You can’t change someone’s predilection. You can’t coach someone not to be attracted to same sex or opposite sex or children. What can be done is the individual can choose not to act on it and can get therapy to help them choose not to act on it like a. Alcoholic can seek therapy to not drink. But the alcoholic is still within them.
The attraction is going to be there for life. It’s imprinted. A person who feels the attraction isn’t evil. They can’t help it. But they can choose not to act on it. The act is evil. They are stuck with an attraction they can never resolve nor act on. It’s like a gay person isn’t evil for being attracted to others of their sex or a person isn’t broken for being attracted to people if a certain race. The problem with being attracted to children is that acting on their desires is evil and involves a victim. There is a massive problem with people attracted to children unable to seek help to not act on it.
there are millions of people with the attraction that choose not to act on it because they know it’s evil to do so. Those people must live in torment and self hatred.

I'd let the safeguarding lead of the club know so they can apply their protocols.

Some years ago, someone "known" to the probation service took up jogging through the park regularly while a children's sporting activity was taking place. Each time he was spotted, we reported through safeguarding practices and the probation service were informed through those procedures.

No it’s not the same at all. One is legal and there are no victims. The other when acted upon is evil

however the issue of someone being attracted to children is not their fault. It’s their burden and if they act on it it’s their fault

they are broken in some way. But the reality that broke them was unlikely to be their fault. I can’t imagine the self hatred someone who knows it’s wrong and chooses never to act on their urges but feels those urges must feel

Well I’m certainly convinced by your cogent rebuttal…🙄

@OP Make sure absolutely everyone at this sports club knows his past, just in case the extensive rehabilitation that turned him into a sweet fluffy bunny hasn’t quite worked and he has access to any kids on play dates.

I would inform police, probation service, club safeguarding and school safeguarding. I would also move my child, in the same way as I remove him from any hazard.

Sexual offenders make up those with lowest rates of reoffending

An entry level Google search would tell you sex offenders make up those with lowest rates of reoffending

Christ calm down. Most paedophiles don't go round with a sticker on their head. How do you know Little Jimmys Grandad who has come to watch isn't one?

What a really nasty, plain ignorant and frankly, cunty reply.

Do you know how many women are victims of sexual assault? I assume you've been lucky or you wouldn't say "calm down". But please consider why women aren't usually calm about sexual abuse and who you might be telling to not worry about sa.

This.

They don’t/ can’t change. You’d be naive to think a few years in prison will make him a safe person to have around kids.

OP - you need to inform the sports organisers to ensure he’s never given the chance to be close to children. I would also be finding a way of informing the wife, I mean, she either doesn’t know or is a complete idiot.

Poor child, having such a risky home life.

Is that not because conviction rates are incredibly low, rape is essentially legal, it wouldn’t at all be unusual for a rapist to never be convicted in the UK.

So what, because some are hidden, we should, what, ignore those with convictions?!

Makes no sense at all. Did you think it through before you posted?

And no, you don't know if Little Jimmy's grandfather is a pedophile, which is why you should be vigilant. But you get mocked for that too. "Sun reader who thinks there's a peado on every corner".

We found out a local guy was a convicted peado, time served years ago, now in a good job and I have been quite surprised at the amount of people who very much have gone with the "oh well, he's done his time" line - and the overwhelming majority of them have been women - which again surprised me.

I'd sooner never speak to him again, but seems I'm in the minority here at least.

Just have your wits about you whilst his at sports club let the club members know

Not only that but with pedophiles you are speaking about a subset of victim who may find it very difficult to understand or discuss their abuse in the first place. And for the very young may not even be physically capable of telling someone. It's a silent crime.

(just as you can't assume every pedophile was caught on their first time abusing)

Hasn't he been added the register and prevented from seeing/interacting with children? Do SS know? OMG is the child at risk?

Keep your child away for sure, give him the widest birth.

Paedophiles cannot be rehabilitated. For them its a normal sexual urge and we've yet to find a cure.

Entry level critical thinking would come up with several reasons why the “data” is unlikely to be reflective of reality.

What do you think he's going to do to your child from the sidelines of a football pitch or whatever?

If he was volunteering to help in the changing rooms or to help coach you might have a point. He wouldn't be able to do either of those things because he would need a DBS.

Is he on the register of sex offenders? If he is tell the football clubs but when my DH was a coach for my son’s football club they did full DBS checks. I’d tell the club. It may be that he is not supposed to be there.

"Paedophile charges" is super vague. If it was 20 years ago and he has kids in football matches, I'd assume he was anywhere between 18 and 35 at the time of the offence. So was he a 19 year old sleeping with a 15 year old, or was he a 30 year old circulating child porn? They're quite different things.

Either way, unless he's alone with your child, he can't harm them. I would intervene if he starts volunteering with the club.

According to law he has served his time. There are many people with prison sentences that work with kids.

I know a man that spent 6 months in prison for GBH and now teaches martial arts to kids. Does he still have that violent tendency lurking? Who knows.

I find it hard to imagine that someone who hurt a child in such a way can ever be rid of such thoughts.