Paedophile taking his kid to sports at weekend

[Pumpkin05]

Long story short information has come to light someone I know was convicted and imprisoned for paedophile charges, some 20 years ago (Information is verifiable)
Flash forward he now has a wife and young child and takes said child to sports clubs and matches at the weekend.
AIBU to think this is strange, and not want my child to attend said sports matches with him there? or am I over-reacting?

I would feel grateful you know. They are absolutely everywhere and most of them are people you would never suspect. At least 1 in 20 but possibly as many as 1 in 5 children are sexually abused. Most by someone close to them. If your child has 20 children in their class or 20 friends they play with at activities or parties, one of those children will very likely have an adult in their life who is abusing them and is a risk to your child. Except you won’t know because they won’t have been convicted or made the papers.

I have 2 very close family members who have been convicted of CSA, but there no doubt are more. We are obviously NC with them, but I’ve also worked very hard with my dc on trusting their gut instinct. If someone or something makes them uncomfortable, they can make a fuss. Obviously, I am there keeping them safe when we are together, but when they are out in the world without me, they know they don’t have to be polite if someone is being weird or pushing their boundaries. I’ve worked very hard on getting them to speak up for themselves and others.

Not all abusers wear a big red sign like this one. And you can’t wrap them in bubble wrap. You can set boundaries for them (you can’t go to Joey’s house to play) and you can teach them how to trust their gut by encouraging them and rewarding them when they do.

What does it mean though that all these paedophiles are in relationships and having sex with adult women? Your saying it's their sexual attraction to be attracted to kids. So how are they also able to have sex with grown women? I dont think many straight men could also have gay relationships for example. It does seem paedophilia is something different- an evil mind.

Peadophiles can't be cured.
They just are.
And every parent should be very careful around one if they've been identified, time spent or not imo.

I hope you don’t have children.

Statistically, there will be domestic abusers, child abusers and paedophiles amongst most gatherings of adults.

At least you know who he is. Keep a close eye. Yes, he’s served his sentence but he’s unlikely to be rehabilitated.

I agree, I fancy men, and imagine I’ll always fancy men.

Paedophiles fancy kids, and surely will always do so, or have the memory of it. Also 20 years ago we let people get away with all sorts, the bar was high for conviction.

Clearly not happy to be corrected then… 😂

Paedophilia isn't a sexual orientation, it is, as a PP said, a paraphilia. Ie a perversion.

Right back at you

To be fair I’m not sure there is much you can do and I think their child has a right to attend sports clubs as well as any other ( who knows maybe the mom doesn’t drive) and have their Dad cheer them on as any other child. ( even if he is a monster)
Id just keep a very close eye on my child at any event he was around.

This is sensible

Within that sports club and amongst the parents and extended families that attend there will be a good few others. It’s far more common than people realise. I would be grateful you know about this one and can be wary and encourage your child to be so too.

‘Grateful’ probably the wrong word but at least you know!

There is a disturbing movement, gaining increasing traction, to destigmatise pedophilia

I agree with this post.

As a pp has said posters are confusing sexual orientation and paraphilia’s.

Sexual Orientation is heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or asexual.

Paraphilias include voyeurism, exhibitionism, paedophillia, AGP etc.

You normally have one sexual orientation but can have multiple paraphilia’s.

At least you know sbout him and can avoid him but really we should always have our guards up nobody would knows if their friendly next door is a paedophile ,if they have never been caught and convicted

We're surrounded by them. The ones you don't know about are the problem, not the ones you do. You know about this one and can keep your child safe from them.

As PP says, you can't ban them from normal life once they've hoop-jumped, however ineffective it is. That is the law of the land and if you do anything in knee-jerk reaction you could find yourself on the wrong side of it.

Agree with others that it’s better you know.

With that in mind, the idea of the presence of these filthy bastards always provokes a strong response from me (for which I’ll never apologise or be made to feel bad).

Although we know that they are all around us, it’s galling to have them swanning around like they’re a normal part of society when they should never be allowed to be.

In your position, OP, I’d make it clear to him that you know what he is. You don’t need to verbalise it, but I’d make it very, very clear to him that you know at any opportunity you get. I also wouldn’t be shy to warn any other parents you’re friendly with. A few whispers and he’ll probably fuck off back under his rock like the coward he is.

^ This is the important information, if it's 15 & 18, then really no issue.
If it's a young child, then yes, not only a monster, but should be locked up for life as there is no rehabilitation in that case.

Not always, it depends on the restriction given

People are also muddling up 'being around children' with 'being unsupervised with a child without the person with PR's permission'

He isnt unsupervised with the children at the club is he?

I agree with a PP though - an eighteen year old having a relationship with a fifteen year old will not get serious, or any, jail time.
Think of the derisory sentences people with thousands of images of abuse get.

To get actually locked up, they must have done something very awful.

I agree with your response OP. The starting point for me is that a presumption they are not rehabilitated. I agree with the person who pointed out what could be described as degrees of offence.

An 18 year.old having sex with a 15 year old isnt a paedophile either
It would be clsssed as having sex with a minor
A paedophile is somebody who is attracted to prepubescent childern.

Yes but no one is convicted of being a pedophile. The are convicted of child sexual abuse

The problem is with these discussions is that people dont make the distinction and dont understand the terminology.

OP uses the word, thats not what the conviction was for, so it is unknown what happened.