To be upset DS is going to double barrel his surname when he gets married?

[MsArgent]

DS is due to marry his girlfriend soon and they have recently announced they’re going to double barrel. I am not against double barrelled surnames and I do of course understand that it’s 2025 and more of a modern concept to keep it “fair”. However it’s truly just too long. Her surname is really quite long, along the lines of Williamson and we have a 2 syllable 8 letter one! I have asked him what he wants and he said originally he didn’t consider it and did think it would just be his surname, until she spoke up about what she wanted and he was open to it and said yes. I asked if he responded to it at all and questioned the practicality and he just says no he didn’t because it’s not a big deal. I think he is completely undermining how much of a burden having to keep repeating and spelling the double barrelled names will be, especially as they are hoping for children one day. I get it’s his life but what is the general opinion on this? I am curious if he would change his mind when realising what people will actually be thinking behind his back. Grandparents are horrified but I have tried to explain it’s more usual nowadays and DH doesn’t like it at all but hasn’t said anything yet

Of course they won't be judged. Literally no one will care apart from you. It's actually the standard in some countries to have the surname of both parents and they manage just fine. We also see more and more kids with double barrel surnames in school, it's increasingly common in UK as we become more diverse and societal norms shift.

Do you have anything to add on the topic, or are you now flailing about and lashing out because your arguments haven't held up to scrutiny?

This. 20 years on my aunts are still trying that trick.

It’s good to hear that your son is starting his married life making it explicit that it is a partnership of equals.

No one has to take anyones name, its not a binary choice. He keeps his name, she keeps her name. I have never understood why people (usually women) change their name on marriage.

Yes, it’s those of us on the thread who have double-barrelled surnames and have been called “the height of chavviness”, tacky, nouveau, up themselves, pretentious, accused of wanton cruelty to children for their future form-filling and family tree-completing needs, who are unhinged.

Friends of mine took part of each surname and created their own unique surname. Worked for them!! The truth of the matter is that this couple will do what they want to do no matter how much you - and the GP's - get your knickers twisted. So what if they have to spell the name out? Their problem, not anyone else's. If they find it's an issue later on they can choose to change it. Relax!!

Makes you wonder how they cope in Spain, where everyone has a double surname. 🙄

Seriously, don’t be that MIL.

Why the wifes surname, why not give the children the husbands surname as their middle name?

I think I’d do the 3 syllable then the 2 syllable

or combine the 2 and make Greeson or something

Do you believe spanish people have an immature need for attention? Surely the people who actually have an immature need for attention are the adults having a strop because their adult child decided to make their own choices in life.

My arguments have well held up, that you have to keep pouncing on posters and challenging them in such an unhinged manner shows you know that yours don't, otherwise you wouldn't be lashing out in such an unhinged manner.

Don't be ridiculous. I double barrelled my name, it even has an apostrophe in it too, it's really not a burden

I think they can choose they order of the names but they have to include the fathers surname from each of theirs.

My husbands cousin is married to a Spanish woman, their three children, all born and registered in Spain have, neither have a name from their father or grandfathers.

Yes but about things that matter.

Well unless the become the Crapweasel - Bananahammocks I think they'll be ok 👍

Can of worms OP, can of worms. It's just internalised mysogyny. The name you're so concerned about isn't even yours.

It's very tacky to do this imo. Unless it's a long standing double barrelled surname I think it's as common as muck😀

@DeskJotter Yes! We do. We’ve older friends who married and did this. Most of us thought it was hilarious. She even used her married name! So not about keeping her family name. People seem to think it signifies being together. “What’s in a name?” is more apt. We don’t actually care what they think they signify. Those of us who haven’t virtue signaled have decent enough respect for each other.

It might become an issue if one of their children wants to triple or quadruple barrel but these are all just admin problems. Plenty of people have issues with mispronounced or mis spelt names.

So what name should children take?

OP, I hear you. Obviously it’s completely his choice - therefore you probably shouldn’t say anything - but some people I’ve met have absurd double barrels. One girl I met had [long Croatian name of three syllables]-[long Jewish name of four syllables] and she was dyslexic, so it took until secondary school for her to be able to confidently spell it.

When I married DH I decided to double barrel with his long and forrin hard to pronounce and spell name,

It's really not an issue. You get used to spelling it out for people. Although last year I misspelled it when on the phone to the bank as i got distracted half way through. Been married 20 years.

In Spain, parents are not legally required to give their child the father’s surname. Since 2000, Spanish law has permitted parents to choose the order of their child’s surnames, allowing either the father’s or the mother’s surname to come first. This decision must be made by mutual agreement and declared upon registering the child’s birth. Once chosen, this surname order applies to all subsequent children of the same parents

www.thelocal.es/20170601/spain-overhauls-tradition-of-sexist-double-barrelled-surnames?utm_source=chatgpt.com