To be upset DS is going to double barrel his surname when he gets married?

[MsArgent]

DS is due to marry his girlfriend soon and they have recently announced they’re going to double barrel. I am not against double barrelled surnames and I do of course understand that it’s 2025 and more of a modern concept to keep it “fair”. However it’s truly just too long. Her surname is really quite long, along the lines of Williamson and we have a 2 syllable 8 letter one! I have asked him what he wants and he said originally he didn’t consider it and did think it would just be his surname, until she spoke up about what she wanted and he was open to it and said yes. I asked if he responded to it at all and questioned the practicality and he just says no he didn’t because it’s not a big deal. I think he is completely undermining how much of a burden having to keep repeating and spelling the double barrelled names will be, especially as they are hoping for children one day. I get it’s his life but what is the general opinion on this? I am curious if he would change his mind when realising what people will actually be thinking behind his back. Grandparents are horrified but I have tried to explain it’s more usual nowadays and DH doesn’t like it at all but hasn’t said anything yet

Why does there need to be a system that a culture follows? What do you think will happen to society if people choose their surnames as they like?

😂😂😂 You’re hilarious. If this is what you’re like now what are you going to be like when they don’t want to come for Christmas, call their babies names you don’t like, buy a house you don’t like, wear clothes you don’t like, etc. etc.? You’re in for a long hard stint of MILhood if you’re like this at the outset. It’s nothing to do with you and there’s nothing you can or should want to do to change it.

Double barrelled surnames are becoming the norm. At a school I was a Governor at about half the children (central London school) had married parents but with double barrelled surnames. Can’t work out your comment about class.

Why would you only give your children a surname from one side of the family. Seems very disrespectful to me.

Maybe read the post I was replying to before disagreeing with me? Your answer seems meant for a different post TBH

People will have a little snigger if it's really long and clunky, and the school will refer to any children as Talullah G-W, rather than saying the whole name, but it's not a biggie.

It is indeed still done by upper class folk.

Does your brain have the space to work it out, even with the torment of trying to trace your family ancestry and fill in forms and apply for a passport? Impressive!

How would you feel if they both kept their own names and future grandchildren had her name only?

You should be proud that your son is going against the patriarchy!

You sound unhinged. Why is people choosing their surnames a "chaotic mess"? You would do well to calm down about this.

None of your business. He could legally change his name to anything he wants, be grateful it isn't something like p'tang p'tang scuttlebrush!!

I guess for most of us, we wouldn't prioritise facilitating some fanatic's ability to more easily make a family tree diagram over our own wants and desires. Why would we? Your desire to make family trees dioramas is a you problem.

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

I don't work with or frequently encounter people who are so cognitively impaired that they can't "memorise" my surname because it is double-barrelled. Is this generally an issue for you? Are you alright?

So something like Lockworth-Williamsen?

I think that sounds solid and nice. People get to het up about stuff being "hard" so you have a life time of spelling. I have a first name you need to spell when I married dh with a fairly common Scotish surname I was thinking ok I wont have to spell that.. I do people come up with the. Most insane spellings

The children have a family surname as a middlename (think like the names about but no hyphen) and then their surname. This has caused issues as many think the middle name is a surname. Yet dh at age 60 have never once had this as a issue (he also has this name)

You just can't sort it so nothing happens.

Maybe due to all this anarchic naming chaos someone will invent an ancestry-tracing system or two, something easily searchable; though of course for ease they’d also need to invent, and make widely available, both computers and some sort of worldwide web to connect them all, to ensure the family tree systems could be used. I guess until then, women should put up and shut up and take their husband’s name. Because won’t somebody think of the children!

No, giving up her name is a misogynistic trope from when women were property to transfer and attach your tag to. Other countries manage this fine, see Spain for example. Keep your nose out and be glad you’ve raised a decent young man.

I don’t see how the length of his name would affect you or the “horrified grandparents” at all? Honestly please do not be that mother in law because when the time comes for them to have children you’re going to realise that your opinion on things is just not going to be a factor when it comes to them making decisions. You might not love his new name but keep it to yourself, you’ll only push yourself away from them by criticising the way they choose to live their lives.

You are the one sounding unhinged on this thread. You're very obsessive. You've posted around 20 times on this thread, and mostly to ask ridiculous questions about things that shouldn't need to be explained to you if you had a decent amount of brainpower.

Do you really know people who snigger at other people's names? How vile.

DT’s have dual nationality and two passports. Even with their very long double barrelled surname neither country has had any issues in supplying them with passports, ID cards and drivers licenses.

You’re being 100% ridicolous

Ah, you've misunderstood the concept of rhetorical questioning. Makes sense.

And you're still going. Unhinged.

Of course people are interested in decisions their children make however they are their decisions presumably based on their experiences/wants/needs etc.

If this was my DS I would be happy that I had raised a man who is open and ‘modern’. I would also be very pleased that he had chosen a woman who was assertive, confident and didnt spout rubbish such as ‘I dont like my surname anyway’. Hopefully she’s also not becoming a ‘Mrs’! Tbh I will be secretly disappointed if my DD changes her name if she gets married.

My view in this is that the easiest thing is for each party to keep their name as it is - then no-one has to change passport, bank accounts etc. This changing name stuff wouldn’t have lasted 2 minutes if men had all the faff and inconvenience of doing all the paperwork. That said they probably should discuss what name any children should have though.