Drunken argument with DH - revealed he has pleasured himself to photos of my friend

[Hilly25]

I had a night out with my DH last night, our DC were with grandparents so a very rare occasion to let our hair down. We’ve had a challenging 2/3 years in our relationship for various reasons, and our sex life has really suffered with it becoming less regular.

What started as a nice night with food etc turned into a slagging match with shouting and swearing at 1am this morning when we got home - both of us had far too much to drink.

I am not proud of certain comments I made - basically blamed him for our sex life and said he’s a lazy lover. He took offence to this and told me that I can’t talk as I’m a lazy lover ‘and that’s why I have to wank to photos of X’ (my best friend). I told him I didn’t believe him and he went on his phone and found screenshots he’d taken on social media of my friend, some of which were cropped from group photos.

I went ballistic and told him not to talk to me and to sleep downstairs on the sofa. This morning, he is claiming not to remember the details of our argument as he was too drunk and has denied what he said and showed me.

Our DC are back home with us now and I don’t want to cause a scene but I am still furious and feel utterly disgusted.

Can you ever see a relationship coming back from this?

No.

Silly drunken argument when stupid things were said,.

No. He’s a disgusting piece of shit, I’m afraid. He’s not only disrespected you, he’s treated your friend like a lump of meat. I wouldn’t be able to look at him, never mind share a bed with him. I would get rid of him, and I’d tell everyone exactly why.

Nope. Absolute deal breaker. And as for his “amnesia”… 🙄

He sure blew up whatever hope he had of a decent sex life with you. You'll always be wondering if he's thinking of your best friend.

It’s hardly a silly drunken argument when he has pics of OP’s friend in his camera roll that he’s admitted to masturbating to 😮 🤢

Oh God No.

No.

He would be gone. I could never live or sleep with him again

yikes. It’s a hard one op. A drunken argument isn’t the end of the world. But he can’t unsay what he’s said. I would be hurt and devastated. Of course he will find other women attractive but to tell you he’s wanking over your mate is spiteful, hurtful and demeaning to you. I would struggle to move past this-more so because he’s in denial and not even apologetic.

That's so disrespectful to both you and your friend. The bastard gets off to pictures of your friend. I would find him disgusting.

Or spend time with him in the company of said friend. He's gross, OP.

Photos aside the relationship sounds pretty much over anyway- why condem yourself to a life of no sex because he can't be bothered to have it with you?

There is no coming back from this. He’s admitted to waning over cropped photis of your best friend instead of having an adult conversation (the relating part of a relationship) with his partner. He’ll be shagging someone behind your back next.

Sorry, what? He's gone to find social media photos of your mate, downloaded them, edited them and used them for wanking? What the actual fuck?

There's no way I'd be coming back from this. Totally intentional, totally unforgiveable.

Well you’re a horrible person. The op is going through something awful and I don’t find peoples suffering funny in the slightest.

How did you get from the rare occasion of a night out together to having such an awful argument that you both drunkenly insulted each other about your sexual prowess?

The fact you got to that point suggests fairly massive issues already exist in your relationship.
The friend photo this is just a distasteful additional cherry on the top.

Your relationship sounds far more comprehensively screwed up than just that point.

Ugh. I’d never want to have sex with him again.

Well, was he thinking about you and the friend together?! That’s different!

Thats cheating IMO. I’m not sure if there’s any coming back from that. Sending love OP.

Calling this cheating is probably pretty offensive to people who have actually been cheated on. It isn't, and it's not even close.

But the combination of doing it and then throwing it in OP's face in an argument, is absolutely revolting.

I am male. No there is no way back. I have been married over 30 years and my wife has had some attractive female friends...there is no way, never wound I fantasize about them, even in my head, let alone have photos of them. You put up barriers, like I have a lot of cousins, all the female ones on my mum's side are stunning, really beautiful. I am not close to many of them...but no...they are my cousins, and whilst it's not illegal in the UK...it's just wrong.