Drunken argument with DH - revealed he has pleasured himself to photos of my friend

[Hilly25]

I had a night out with my DH last night, our DC were with grandparents so a very rare occasion to let our hair down. We’ve had a challenging 2/3 years in our relationship for various reasons, and our sex life has really suffered with it becoming less regular.

What started as a nice night with food etc turned into a slagging match with shouting and swearing at 1am this morning when we got home - both of us had far too much to drink.

I am not proud of certain comments I made - basically blamed him for our sex life and said he’s a lazy lover. He took offence to this and told me that I can’t talk as I’m a lazy lover ‘and that’s why I have to wank to photos of X’ (my best friend). I told him I didn’t believe him and he went on his phone and found screenshots he’d taken on social media of my friend, some of which were cropped from group photos.

I went ballistic and told him not to talk to me and to sleep downstairs on the sofa. This morning, he is claiming not to remember the details of our argument as he was too drunk and has denied what he said and showed me.

Our DC are back home with us now and I don’t want to cause a scene but I am still furious and feel utterly disgusted.

Can you ever see a relationship coming back from this?

Which is why I said IMO. Everyone has different parameters for cheating, it’s not offensive. I think it’s a huge betrayal in my opinion. You might not and that’s fine :-)

I couldn't respect a man after all that. Just... Why?

I know. I just hope lots of these threads aren't true or exaggerated because its just too depressing otherwise.

I couldn't ever sleep with him again. He's beyond disgusting. Having a wank over porn is one thing but over your mate? It's just absolutely unacceptable.

He's showing you what he actually thinks about the women in his life. You know he's "lazy" in bed which means he's putting his pleasure first. He'd rather eank over a social media pic than try to repair your sex life.

I rarely ever say this. But, the relationship would be over for me. Would I actually leave? Depends on the bigger I guess.

Please don't let this piece of shit affect your self esteem. You're worth more than this

I wasn’t in any of the photos, and he was very specific in naming my friend and not me! Not that it would make me feel any better

It’s triggering because he said something about my friend in the past which I let slide (about her bum) again when drunk but it all makes sense now that he has obviously had a thing for her going back years.

Ummmm. Well done you for not wanting to shag your cousins, I guess?! 👀

This thread is finishing me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Had to “put barriers up” to not fuck your cousins

Fuck, the clowns are out tonight

I’ve got a pretty strong stomach but that’s just 🤮. Can’t see how you ever come back from knowing that.

Men are such weird little creatures.

No, but you don’t sound like you love or even like each other, so probably for the best.

Exactly. I can't imagine going out with DH for a rare date and ending up yelling and us telling each other they were shit in bed. What's going on in your relationship for a night out to end up like this? Apart from him wanking over your friend, of course.

do any of his friends have a nice bum? Could you squeeze out a revenge w* ..??

I think it's over for these quite distinct reasons:

He's betrayed you in wanking over your friend
He's betrayed you cruelly in telling you about it
He's the kind of cunt that turns a real human being into a thing, into porn, without her knowledge and therefore without her consent

That is disgusting and creepy. That would kill any feelings I had for a man stone dead

I don't know why you're getting a hard time

I understand exactly what you mean - you're using 'not going there with cousins' to illustrate that it's perfectly possible to remove certain people from the pool of people you could be attracted to/fantasise about.

To illustrate that this tosser has made a choice.

Op - I very much doubt that it's accidentally your best friend.

He's been getting a kick out of the idea of humiliating you.

Also - who the fuck cuts up photos of real people to wank over, has he got amnesia?

Tosser.

M

Blimey! There's silly drunken arguments and then there's telling your wife you wank off to photos of her best friend. That's an EWWWWWW from me.

That would seriously give me the ick,I would of packed his shit right there an then!

No that’s done, there would be no coming back from that for me. He could apologise or deny all wants, but you know it’s happened. In a way seems a trivial thing to separate over but I could neither forgive nor forget that.

That would be game over for me, I couldn’t see past that.

How disgusting. Your poor friend.

Do people live like this? Bizarre

It would be no from me, more about the objectification of my mate than anything. That he's downloaded photos and cropped them and all that... It's very creepy and pervy and so disrespectful to her. I could never ever feel attracted to him again.

Massive issues in the relationship. What would your life look like if you separated? Is it an option?

I think if a nice meal descends into you both getting drunk off your tits and yelling at each other about your respective failures to satisfy each other in bed, your relationship was already effectively over anyway. Regardless of his wank fodder revelations, the dynamic between you both sounds beyond unhealthy anyway.