Drunken argument with DH - revealed he has pleasured himself to photos of my friend

[Hilly25]

I had a night out with my DH last night, our DC were with grandparents so a very rare occasion to let our hair down. We’ve had a challenging 2/3 years in our relationship for various reasons, and our sex life has really suffered with it becoming less regular.

What started as a nice night with food etc turned into a slagging match with shouting and swearing at 1am this morning when we got home - both of us had far too much to drink.

I am not proud of certain comments I made - basically blamed him for our sex life and said he’s a lazy lover. He took offence to this and told me that I can’t talk as I’m a lazy lover ‘and that’s why I have to wank to photos of X’ (my best friend). I told him I didn’t believe him and he went on his phone and found screenshots he’d taken on social media of my friend, some of which were cropped from group photos.

I went ballistic and told him not to talk to me and to sleep downstairs on the sofa. This morning, he is claiming not to remember the details of our argument as he was too drunk and has denied what he said and showed me.

Our DC are back home with us now and I don’t want to cause a scene but I am still furious and feel utterly disgusted.

Can you ever see a relationship coming back from this?

Honestly, why are you even asking this question? Are toxic relationships the norm now so much so people can’t see how toxic they are? Even before the admittance of the photo, the drunken shouting with insults would be enough for me.

Basically, you told him he was a crap shag and he then admitted wanking over your friend. This is dead in the water op.
Telling him in that scenario that he is crap in bed is never going to end well. If you have issues with his sexual performance or other reasons why you don’t want to have sex with him (is he lazy, doesn’t pull his weight at home etc) you discuss it soberly and in an appropriate manner. The VAST majority of men would feel extremely hurt in this scenario. He obviously did and he’s lashed out.
The cropping of pictures from social media though of your friend is just beyond awful. Couldn’t he have found some stranger to wank over? If he’d said he’d used porn because you wouldn’t have sex with him, I could maybe understand, but your friend? Nope. He’s crossed a line and what’s more, he bloody knows it, which is why he’s lying to your face this morning.

Reproducing with your first cousin is proven to cause fetal deformities and genetic disorders. I find it very unfair on the child. I’ve lived in an Arab country so I’m aware certain countries offer genetic testing before marriage to avoid this from happening but these tests are not 100% foolproof. It's not racist to disagree with the practise.

No way, but the relationship sounds crap anyway.

I remember you now and the post about your friends bottom.

Most of the advice then was leave.

He is telling you who he really is. He wants out but he just wants a nuclear way to carve a path for him.

I reckon he’s secretly shagged/shagging the friend.

No.

I mean, unless you’re ok with him pretending you’re Emma every time you have sex?

I think this relationship is done.

gd its grim enough he did it but then he told you and then when he went to PROVE it when you didnt believe it?

this man doesnt love you, he doesnt even like you

Bit early to be on the booze

Unless you are the husband?

Jay from the inbetweeners? That you?

The argument was drunken but his behaviour with photos of her best friend was not and is unforgiveable. They both said stupid things when drunk but he did awful things presumably when sober that he confessed to while drunk.

I couldn’t come back from this.
How completely horrible for you OP.
Wishing you well.