Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how you avoid afterschool park with 5 year old?

175 replies

SoImStillInBed · 05/04/2025 08:06

Hi,

I'm curious about something. We walk past the park on the way home. Except for his afterschool club days x1 and one club afternoon x1 he'll always want to go to the park especially if any friend might be going - hes friends with the whole class. In a way this is good. But sometimes I'd just prefer we collect his sister from nursery, he doesn't eat a tonne of biscuits someone has brought and he does his home things like lego, reading etc..

I notice some kids rarely or never go. What are you doing? How have you persuaded their kids to go straight home without any argument?

YABU - this is easy or obvious
YANBU - it's a struggle

OP posts:
Donotpanicoknowpanic · 05/04/2025 08:09

Try and take him

One day he will grow up and you will look back at this time with fondness

TheNightingalesStarling · 05/04/2025 08:10

By saying no.

Same with getting sweets from the sweetshop, or watching television etc

backintothemeadow · 05/04/2025 08:12

I think offering something interesting at home, or maybe having a couple of designated days that are park days might work. I’m all for parks but I get what you mean about the biscuits and the nursery pick up.

frozendaisy · 05/04/2025 08:14

We used to go to the park after school when it was warm and dry

there are many many many days in the uk it’s cold wet and dark to do home things

compromise

ok we can go for an hour, that still doesn’t get you home late and he burns off energy

he’s a 5 yr old boy he has just done a day at school
he doesn’t want to go home to read

Griefandwithdrawing · 05/04/2025 08:14

This phase doesn't last long. I'd say enjoy it whilst it does.

Otherwise - discuss beforehand - we can go to the park on tues and friday etc or take some snacks with you - fruit etc.

Walk a different way, go on a bike to bypass it all together

madnessitellyou · 05/04/2025 08:15

You say no?

I'm not seeing the issue here.

frozendaisy · 05/04/2025 08:15

can you leave him with a friend and friend’s mum go and collect sister and come back to get him?

midtownmum · 05/04/2025 08:15

We used to have a regular day that we always went, and otherwise its just say no if I didn't want to. But we didn't walk past the park on the way home, it was slightly out of the way, so that helped with just saying "not today".

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 05/04/2025 08:16

I think taking him for 30 mins after school isn’t an issue- take yourself a flask of coffee if he has a friend there and let them play- have there evening meal already mostly prepared for when your home to make it easier, they are only children once and before you know it they won’t want to go anywhere with you and you will miss those times

DenholmElliot11 · 05/04/2025 08:16

Why wouldn't you go to the park, weather permitting?

Baboutheocelot · 05/04/2025 08:16

After being indoors so much during winter I would let him go to the park as much as I could. But I do understand how you feel, maybe have a day of the week where he knows you’ll be going straight home.

SoonTheDaffodilsWillBeOver · 05/04/2025 08:16

Take him to the park! The poor boy’s been stuck indoors at school all day. You want him to be stuck indoors at home all afternoon and evening. When does he get to run around with his friends on grass? It’s normal and healthy to want that. It’s good for his health and his social skills. If he eats some sugary biscuits, just let him run around a bit more so he can work it off. He’ll be tired and ready to go home soon enough.

SaladSandwichesForTea · 05/04/2025 08:16

I was happy to support it but on the odd occasion I just said no. Do you generally struggle with that (sorry it sounds rude, it's not meant to).

If it helps, my advice is not to break stride. Hold hands, keep walking and talking and if they keep asking just reiterate, not today, we're going home to play lego. Why? Because that's the plan sweetheart. Off we go. Look at that pigeon etc etc.

Strawberryorangejuice · 05/04/2025 08:17

We found the enthusiasm for every day ends by year 1 typically! Some days my youngest has no choice as we have to collect from the junior school a 10 min drive away. We just have to say no. Mostly she accepts it, sometimes she acts like I've ruined her life! But we can't ditch the 8 year old at school so there is no choice! Other days we go.

Smartiepants79 · 05/04/2025 08:17

You tell him no. We’ve got to go an pick up your sister. And then you ignore all whinging and go home. He’s 5. You decide when you go and where you go.

MoreChocPls · 05/04/2025 08:17

why would you not want your kid to run about and burn off energy? That’s bizarre

Ohthatsabitshit · 05/04/2025 08:18

How have you got to a situation where a 5 year old is choosing what his mother does?

UsernameShmusername2024 · 05/04/2025 08:19

Take some snacks you're happy for him to have and take him when you can. Set clear boundaries about how long you're staying and explain that leaving nicely when asked will mean you can go other days after school, refusing etc. will make that less likely next time.
If there are specific reasons you don't want to, you just explain you can't today because X, Y, Z but you'll go on whatever day.

Summerbay23 · 05/04/2025 08:20

Another one who says if the weather is good, go to the park. Plenty of time for them to be indoors when the weather is bad.

TwentyTwentyFive · 05/04/2025 08:20

Ds goes very rarely because he's in wraparound. However if me or DH collect him at the end of the school day then we do take him to the park.

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to to be honest given how often it's miserable, wet or dark in this country the vast majority of days you wouldn't be taking him. It's only the summer term where this would really even be a possibility. Collect his sister and then take both kids and let them enjoy the park.

Ecstaticallyastounding · 05/04/2025 08:21

Fucking hell people, she didn't ask whether or not she should take the kid to the park.

Fwiw, I'm in the just say no and keep walking camp. That being said.. I have never managed to persuade my kid to do anything without argument. Keep trying to tell myself it means they'll never be walked over, but in reality it's really fucking annoying. Sorry that's no help really.

TY78910 · 05/04/2025 08:21

I say no, need to head home cook dinner etc and offer an alternative ‘you can go on the trampoline in the garden’ - obviously if you don’t have a garden then just suggest whatever toy / thing DC is in to

FuckYouTony · 05/04/2025 08:21

I'd just say no. I don't really understand why you can't do that. If he kicks off, oh dear, guess what, we're still not going to the park. Sometimes we just don't have time.

That said, it's a good way to burn off some excess energy if you do have time. So take him every now and then but be clear about boundaries. If I say we're going, we're going.

miniaturepixieonacid · 05/04/2025 08:22

Is your daughter upset/aware that she is being left later in nursery?

If not then I wouldn't say no to the park. I'd let him go every day but I would say no to snacks and tell him he'll spoil his tea. He might still end up sneaking some but not as many as if you'd given permission.

If she is upset by the later pick up then I eould explain that to your son, say things have to be fair to both of them and compromise on 3 park days one week, 2 the next and so on.

GroovyChick87 · 05/04/2025 08:22

I'd take him. I get that the park is probably boring for you and you wanting to get on with stuff at home. I get it. But kids being outdoors, using up energy and being with friends outside of school is a good thing, especially while the weather's nice. You could compromise and say it's just for half an hour and stick to it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread