To wonder how you avoid afterschool park with 5 year old?

[SoImStillInBed]

Hi,

I'm curious about something. We walk past the park on the way home. Except for his afterschool club days x1 and one club afternoon x1 he'll always want to go to the park especially if any friend might be going - hes friends with the whole class. In a way this is good. But sometimes I'd just prefer we collect his sister from nursery, he doesn't eat a tonne of biscuits someone has brought and he does his home things like lego, reading etc..

I notice some kids rarely or never go. What are you doing? How have you persuaded their kids to go straight home without any argument?

YABU - this is easy or obvious
YANBU - it's a struggle

I give DD the choice: I always say yes, but remember if you choose park now there’s less time for Lego, reading, crafting. She mostly chooses the park and that’s fine: boring and windswept for me (it’s got its own weather zone, always cold), exercise for her. I couldn’t give a fuck if she eats loads of sugary snacks shared by other kids, she’s running solid for 30-45 minutes.

She gets one day without her brother, one day where we can’t because of swimming, then three days where we pick up her brother first from nursery then go. But it’s sunny atm so we do always go!

I always went to the park after school. Rather him having fin with friends and some "free play" than sitting alone in his room building lego with me as his only friend- which we also did ofcourse. So what if he has some cookies? I always brought extras because so many kids were hungry (asked parents for permission first). It was also nice to chat with some other parents.

Honestly, I can see why after a day at school sitting around at home reading or building legs would just be more of the same. But if you really don't want to go, can't go, or just need to say 'not today, we went on Tuesday' then just say it. Yes there might be some argument but how do you think you're going to cope with bigger and less reasonable requests as he gets older if he never experiences being told no, and you don't learn what kind of explanations or arguments work on him?

My DS's primary school had a park & playing fields opposite the entrance so it was unavoidable. He always wanted to play, but often I was tired after working all day in a stressful job & was not looking forward to making a meal, doing housework, helping with homework etc when all I wanted to do was go home & have a sit-down with a cup of tea. So we had designated days when he could play in the park and I would say 'no it's Tuesday, we don't go to the park on Tuesdays, we go on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, we will play tomorrow. What would you like to do when we get home? Would you like to play in the garden? Would you like to make pizzas for tea?' and jolly him along.

stone wall broken record etc. No, No, Not today. No etc. ad infinitum

It is weird though I would love my teen to run around a park rather than want to get straight on snap chat. Sorry I know.. not helpful right now.

Just say "not today" and don't break stride.

Its perfectly reasonable for you to want or need to do something else some days and its good for him to learn that other people's wishes matter as well.

He has two after school activities, sometimes you also go to the park - its not just reasonable, its good idea for this age to have at least some quiet after school sessions to structure their own activities.

"home things like lego, reading etc..".

If it's not raining then go to the park. Unless there's a health reason or dog you have to get back for then stay in the fresh air chatting. We used to do at least an hour at the park on the days we didn't have anything on.

Have a set day that you go.

You just tell them no. You are the parent. What a strange post!

I think the fact that so many parents are completely incapable of telling their children no is going to cause real lasting damage.

You are the adult. He is the child. You tell him no.

Obviously there should be days he gets to go but if you have things you need to do or you just want to get home, tell him no.

It really isn’t that hard.

Ww used to go to the park practically every single day after school. It just made after school much easier. I don't know you would try to avoid it when they've spent alm day sitting down being quiet. Let them run!

This … mine is 16 now and I loved those times. Sometimes it was just her and me (those days when you were their hero and just the Best Person In The World 😁). I miss her being little and 100% get why some mins are addicted to having more to get more of those years!

I think iy is verg important you go to the park.

for him

• it s anothrr way of socialising outside of schools
• different skills but hugely important
• lrtting steam off
• neuro development

for you

• being in the now with him with no sibling
• talking to other parents
• you stay up to date with school news (important), at best you re making new friends
• dont underestimate that at this age, thats how playdates/parties/friendships are formed because parenta still have a say.

so weather permitting and since we re just out the winter, i s suck it uP. O remeber those days with fondness and relief i m done in equal measure 🤣🤣

You just say no.

I don’t understand why so many parents have a hard time with that.

Definitely go to the park when weather permits. I know what it is like when you are thinking of the reel of jobs you have to do when you get home.

Could you get the sister first/ arrange to go with another parent and pop off to get the sister and have the dinner prepped at home so it is smooth? The park would be good for all of you. Re biscuits… could you just say to the parent you need him to eat his dinner so he can sleep and the biscuit would ruin that? Maybe he will still end up with one, but it won’t be the end of the world

I think you should go as much as possible, and with good grace and enthusiasm, especially on good weather days but simultaneously be very firm and clear in saying no on days where it doesn't suit. Why anyone would want for their child to be at home on their own playing with Lego or reading when they could be playing in the park with their friends is beyond me. Your little boy sounds lively and popular and this is a great phase of childhood which will pass all too quickly. I used to bring my daughter most days after playschool which was right beside the playground so I got to witness multiple children whose parents for no good reason that I knew of - and in small village life, I I knew their circumstances pretty well - would never bring theirs or promise them to do so another day and didn't or would make heavy weather of it as if it were a huge sacrifice. Incidentally, those of us parents who did meet there, and it was by no means every day, had great chats and fun, many went on to become good friends. As for the odd packet of biscuits or round of ice creams on a hot day, what of it in the grand scheme of things. Life is short, childhood is fleeting, these are the good times.

We have a park right next to school too. Sometimes I’ll let DD1 go after school but honestly we have quite busy evenings with various things so sometimes I just need to get back home to get on with work or dinner or because we have somewhere else to be, so just say ‘No, not today’ and off we go. On days you don’t want to go, just don’t go.

She’s also not stuck inside at school all day, at least two of the days are outside days where she’s outside much of the day for outdoor learning and outdoor PE and they are frequently out during the day anyway, so she’s not exactly been sitting at a desk all day! Early years education here at least is extremely active, they don’t spend long periods of time sitting, so she doesn’t really need to burn off any steam.

How do you persuade a five year old not to go to the park? How do you do what you want to do instead?

Is that a serious question?

Have specific day/s, we walk past the ice cream van every day my children know they only get one on a Friday. It’s the same principle though if we went past a park on the way home and the weather was nice I would encourage a half hour play before home as would rather they were active then just sitting

What’s the problem? Would you rather go home and have him play on a tablet?

I am always mystified by threads where a parent asks how to make their child do something or not do something. I guess some people today don't use the word No or don't set boundaries for their children.

Act like a parent. You tell him what the plan is and you ignore wingeing.

If you do go to the park you allow him a biscuit and then tell him, "no more biscuits, you will spoil your tea."

Agree with almost everyone else - a 5 year old who has been sitting in a classroom needs 20 minutes running around to burn off some energy. Fine, if you need to pick up a sibling you tell them that and if you don't want him eating biscuits then you stop him from doing so.

Come on though - poor kid. Sitting all day in a classroom and can't spend a short time in the park because his mother would prefer him sitting at home reading or playing with lego, just as he has been doing in school all day.

If you don’t want him to go to the park you just so “no” - you’re the parent.

However, I nearly always let my DCs have a play in the park when the weather was nice. They get all winter to play with Lego, play board games etc.