To wonder how you avoid afterschool park with 5 year old?

[SoImStillInBed]

Hi,

I'm curious about something. We walk past the park on the way home. Except for his afterschool club days x1 and one club afternoon x1 he'll always want to go to the park especially if any friend might be going - hes friends with the whole class. In a way this is good. But sometimes I'd just prefer we collect his sister from nursery, he doesn't eat a tonne of biscuits someone has brought and he does his home things like lego, reading etc..

I notice some kids rarely or never go. What are you doing? How have you persuaded their kids to go straight home without any argument?

YABU - this is easy or obvious
YANBU - it's a struggle

I really wanted to stop at the park after school, but for those years I was a lone parent full time WFH. Mostly he was in childcare, but when he was a bit older I gave him the choice - childminder or I'd collect and he'd need to come home and entertain himself. He did like being collected, but did struggle to see other kids at the park. When he was a bit older still I would collect him from school and be able to leave him at the park to walk home himself or with another friend/parent.

Anyway, many times I'd have to say "we can't go today because I need to go back to work, but we will be able to go tomorrow".

Yes it does. I'm 63 and still want to go to the park

Ah just go to the park especially if it’s a nice sunny day

When you’re 5 the park is an exciting prospect, certainly if you’ve spent the whole day at school trying to listen/behave

In a few short years, they won’t want to go to the park!

Try pre preparing something on one day of the week. A water table/sandpit in garden so still outside but you can cook some dinner/do some housework

as long as that goes down positively then make that become the routine ‘not on Tuesdays but we will tomorrow’

Because she realised she could have done things better and allow her children to have some fun running around in the playground.

Nothing odd about it.

Im in charge & they know i am? I just say no. Yes they kick off the first few times, it doesn't work, and they accept that fighting about it is pointless.

Good lord I have no idea what she did next, if she offered again and they went, if they were too old or whatever. It was one post, that I read years ago when dc were small.
She posted that she'd realised that saying no all the time meant they gave up. And she felt bad she hadn't said yes sometimes.

Oh and the other way you stop them complaining is you impose consequences for kicking off. If mine kick off when I've said no, they know there will be consequences (maybe they'll lose screen time privileges or i won't give any dessert or whatever).

The worst phase i had with my kids behaviour wise was when i fell into a phase of not following through with consequences enough, too much threatening things that didn't happen. You have to follow through even if it makes life harder short term. It pays off.

oh i see, its a comprehension issue for you.

Saying no to a 5 year old isnt what is dismissive.
Responding to a parent of a 5 year old asking for advice on how to avoid the park after school, with "just tell them no", is what is dismissive.

You don't have to always keep them entertained - it's ok for them to be bored and to learn how to deal with it.

Fair enough. Maybe I have glossed over the boredom because the playground years are well behind me!

I think it’s odd to have that sort of epiphany when the asking stopped, rather than when they were clearly eager to go, but whatever…

I think that you would have got different kind of responses if you had worded your OP differently, OP.

You have jobs to do etc. Your child has a need to go to the park. Try to find a way to cater to his needs in a way that also works for you.

Its perfectly normal to reflect on things later in life an re-evaluate. People change with life experience.

Yes, I agree.
Perhaps the timeframe was longer than that poster made it sound.
It certainly didn’t sound as though it was “later in life”, but who knows.

Make the most of it while nice weather

limit biscuits

say allowed 1-2

choose 2/3 days it’s a yes and others a no

By using your words? NO, because I said no.
you don’t need to reason and bargain, be a parent. He’s 5, and you don’t know how to be in charge?

I wrote one day she noticed they had stopped asking. As in, they didn't ask any more. Not that she noticed on literally the first day they didn't ask.
Sorry I posted about it now!

I used to go in the park most days when it was ok weather but usually for 20 minutes, not an hour. And there was a small play area that I let him go to on his own at the back of the estate we lived in from when he was about 7 (though likely that wouldn’t be approved of by some) which was helpful. We also had garden play equipment he liked. But yes, there were plenty of arguments about this so no perfect answer. I think to an extent you should suck it up as it is healthy but then again, every now and then just take him home, can’t see why a child should get their way every single day and don’t think that is good for them anyway.

We have a designated park day on a day that suits our schedule and my son knows this so doesn't ask to go on a different day, it's become part of our routine. If we've got nothing else on I might ask if he wants to go on other days. I'd rather he was there burning off a bit of energy than sitting around at home.

The PP /not OP/ said "the day she noticed they didnt ask" not "the day they didnt ask".
That implies it was at least some time later. That may have been a couple of days or a week or 6 months.
Even if it was the first day they did not ask it could have moved something in PPs head to suddenly feel sad about it. Thats perfectly normal, that happens.

This thread is wild: take away screen time or some other punishment for the crime of… wanting to run around in the fresh air. The playground is structured play! (It really isn’t.) Let them play outside once a week, for a treat. Playgrounds compared to tablets and sweeties.

If you’re lucky enough to be able to do pickup and not have to log back on for more work, just let little kids run around for a bit. It’s fresh air and exercise!