To wonder how you avoid afterschool park with 5 year old?

[SoImStillInBed]

Hi,

I'm curious about something. We walk past the park on the way home. Except for his afterschool club days x1 and one club afternoon x1 he'll always want to go to the park especially if any friend might be going - hes friends with the whole class. In a way this is good. But sometimes I'd just prefer we collect his sister from nursery, he doesn't eat a tonne of biscuits someone has brought and he does his home things like lego, reading etc..

I notice some kids rarely or never go. What are you doing? How have you persuaded their kids to go straight home without any argument?

YABU - this is easy or obvious
YANBU - it's a struggle

From the OP about home nights:
"he does his home things like lego, reading etc."

Its good for children to have some time to structure their own activities, play with their own toys etc rather than have every moment planned and organised for them. Its also important for children to learn that sometimes another family member gets to choose what we do.

As for the problem - the problem is that sometimes the OP wishes to do something different and she is his parent and gets a say, not his servant.

I think I would make it so its a treat on certain days. Like on friday we go to the park after school.

Odd question. I don’t think you can persuade him not to do something he wants to do. If it’s important to you, you just say no. I’d rather my 5 year old blow off some steam outside after school with his friends, but if you’re set on not going then don’t. I don’t think there’s a magical solution to this. He’ll probably be upset but that’s ok.

You say “no” and stick to it, walking briskly past the park. You then move on to a more interesting topic of conversation. Job done.

I used to take mine to the park on a Friday after school (it was the only day I finished work early so could do it) Some Fridays it was raining so we’d have to give it a miss and we didn’t always do it throughout the winter. Compromise - pick a day or two that you are happy to go and say no in the other days. Looking back I miss those park days now mine are teens. There is plenty of time for Lego / reading etc.

Same as when they wanted sweets/ice creams/other treats every day.

I'd have a rule that we'd go on a particular day if they didn't ask. Changed the question to "is it Friday" but meant no moaning. And any extra days meant they thought I was brilliant for doing extra rather than mean on the days we didn't 😁

Maybe have set days you go to the park, either one or two a week, and remind him Tuesday is our park day and it’s not Tuesday, today we’ll go home and play Lego, that way he won’t feel like it’s always going to be a no and he’ll know what to expect

Little boys who have spent the day sitting down mostly and doing cerebral things and being controlled need to let off steam, to race about, to climb, to have fun with mates. Let him do it!! Watch him and smile!

I am puzzled as to why you might want to avoid this ......

I think it’s so important for there social development to go and play. It was also good for me to make mum friends or meet mums dc may go on play dates with. Let the poor child go to the park

I say yes some days and no other days. I'd just say "not today sweetheart, we need to get your sister" or, "let's play for 20 minutes but we need to go soon" or "maybe tomorrow" depending on what needs doing

One of the things I love is being able to take my DDs to the park after school. I won’t get these days back and it’s really not that hard to give them 10, 20 or more minutes after school. I am strict though, when I say we are leaving I mean it and no complaints. Some times I tell them 5/10 mins as we have things to do, sometimes like yesterday I was the annoying mum with biscuits and crisps and was in no rush to leave.

As for you dilemma giving him some days of yes and other days of not tonight will teach him he will get chances to go just not all the time.

Surprised how many people are saying just let him go.
I absolutely hate the park after school. It it is manic, it's hard to keep an eye on your children as they are all in uniform looking the same and it is draining having to sit and make polite conversation when you know you have other stuff to be getting on with at home.

Just keep saying no, we need to collect your sister. Use the park as a treat/have set days for when you can go. Or I do it as a surprise, my kids always expect a no so suggesting a park trip is always a bonus and something they are then grateful for rather than assuming and taking for granted that we will go.

If the weather is nice, I would always let him have a half hour in the park with his friends. Take your own healthy snacks if you don't want him eating biscuits. Being outside playing is so good for children, he's been in school all day and probably needs to blow off some steam!

Being a mum who always stopped at the park, bought a whistle lolly at the chemist and took ice lollies to school pick up I can’t really help. My kids didn’t grow up to be entitled brats and in retrospect I have no regrets.

If I was five, I don’t think I’d want to go home and read after a day at school either.

I just say no.

we used to go by the park pretty much always after school...used up some energy and whilst the weather was nice seemed a shame not to. Make the most of it.

If you don’t want to go, say no not today. To save him asking every time, set a specific day so that he knows the boundaries.

you didn’t ask opinion on wether you should take him or I realise, but I think at least once a week is fair? He gets physical play, fresh air, free time with friends out of the house (anything to avoid a play date🤣) take fruit or savoury snacks if you don’t want him eating biscuits and get yourself a flask of tea and a book if you are bored while he’s playing.

i always found it better to not just tell them no, but to acknowledge that it is a really fun thing to do and that you want to be able to go to the park, but not every single day.
If they are unhappy about going past the park when its not a park day, you could talk about how you are looking forward to when you next go, and get them to talk about who theyll play with and what they will go on etc.

I think its about teaching them delayed gratification. I think that its important to be able to just go home without them kicking off.

I would be very clear that they know what day it is and what the after school plan is that day. If its an activity club day. If its a park day or if its a chill out afternoon with lego and books and a favourite dinner. Maybe a visual timetable/calendar with pictures on it.

My kids were always easier to manage after school if I brought them a small snack for the journey home too.

I say we can do it two or three days a week and will definitely try if all of his friends are there but not if the weather is really bad or if there’s things that need doing. Also sometimes (really nice days that we can’t) bribes in the car😉

Just say no. Or "not today, we've got to x, y, z".
Or give him 5/10/15 minutes.
Or if you're in a rush but dc has energy to burn something like like "you can have 10 swings then twice down the slide". Helps with counting skills too

This. It's obvious isn't it.