To wonder how you avoid afterschool park with 5 year old?

[SoImStillInBed]

Hi,

I'm curious about something. We walk past the park on the way home. Except for his afterschool club days x1 and one club afternoon x1 he'll always want to go to the park especially if any friend might be going - hes friends with the whole class. In a way this is good. But sometimes I'd just prefer we collect his sister from nursery, he doesn't eat a tonne of biscuits someone has brought and he does his home things like lego, reading etc..

I notice some kids rarely or never go. What are you doing? How have you persuaded their kids to go straight home without any argument?

YABU - this is easy or obvious
YANBU - it's a struggle

I read a post on Mumsnet once about a mother whose kids always asked to go to the park (I think they drove past one), and then one day she noticed they had stopped asking, because she never said yes. She was sad looking back on this and while we absolutely can't always do what they want to do, if there's nothing stopping me letting them have 10 minutes to run around that's what I would do.
few more years and they won't want to go anyway as they'll want to get home to play Minecraft or whatever

Thanks, yes exactly.

We can all say no to something and find something else becomes an argument. And I know some of the 'just say no' parents are actually saying, have a whole pack of pringles and whatever u want on YouTube.

I suppose I was wondering if there's some magic formula but maybe it is either routine+saying no or bribery.

I'm trying to imagine the 5 year old boy who wants to rush home from school to read.

Aw yes its a shame they never went. I wouldn't want to always so no either.

I always found having a bit of structure helped with this eg you go to the park on Thursdays. Kids tend to respond to that fairly well and accept is as a reason that you’re not going on Monday. But of course you do then actually have to go on Thursday (even if it’s raining etc) or you undermine the whole thing.

Yeah I agree with this. Decide in advance and make sure he knows in the morning if he will be going or not. Then just hold the boundary. It’ll be fine!
I wish we walked past a park on our way home tbh! Burn off some energy

You don't need to say what you're doing instead and offer sweets/TV. That's simply bribing and is just as bad as not being able to say no.

Being able to say "no, not today" to your child shouldn't be difficult. And contrary to modern parenting, "because I said so" is a perfectly reasonable reason to give a child.

Oh, let him go for goodness sake. Keep it to once/twice a week or when the sun is shining. Say no at other times.

Probably best to decide in advance - there's 3 days you walk him home at this time, so tell him when he can go in the morning, and stick to it - but I think you need something to do at home - "let's get that Lego spaceship finished!" Or whatever.

Cam you have one day a week that is designated park day? That way you say not today, we go on x day, remember?

😂 yeah fair enough. I mean I know that kid and his mum says I wish he'd go and play in the park. Very rare though.

It's great he has lots of friends too much worse when they don't

Thanks. Bribery isn't modern though.

Have a set day / days to go to the park - outside of these days let him know if he pesters then he doesn't go that week, It is good to go when weather is great - but there are other responsibilities to get on with and sometimes you just don't want to as a parent.

Yes its a fair point. He is very sociable and I'm lucky he gets on with most kids. Though he will often end up arguing with one if they're there too long. I try to leave earlier but I'm kind of bad at leaving once I'm there chatting away.

Playing in the park is a healthy way to relax after school. It never occurred to me to discourage it and it was a sad day when DC decided that the playpark was just for younger kiddies and stopped wanting to. The only thing to discourage is taking the biscuits that other people bring. Agreeing that your DC can play in the park in the condition that they aren't allowed to take any sweets or biscuits that other people bring, and you'll have snack at home so if he's too hungry to say no to biscuits we'll just go home, that would be reasonable.

This was me! My kids always wanted to do stuff like this no matter who was at the park. I often wondered how others managed to get straight home. Now they are teenagers and I look back proudly on how sociable and friendly they were. He’s 5! Plenty of time (ie winter) to stay in and play/read etc. Being at the park with other children is such a healthy way to spend his time. Could you agree the night before that it will be for 20 minutes only and set your watch when you get in to the park or something?

Also, what’s wrong with a fucking biscuit or two after school? 🤦🏻‍♀️

This

It goes so fast & good park weather required - I'd take coffee with me or limit it to say 30 mins

(Wish my DS wanted to go somewhere with me - DS17 and I'm only required for lifts 🤣)

Why do you actually want him to go home and play with his Lego alone, rather than run around in the fresh air with his friends?

It doesnt have to be sweets to be a nice treat. What about some strawberries and cream, or baking some home made biscuits, or making pizza toast when you get in?

putting the tv on makes it sound passive and lazy, but school is a really intense day. Its noisy, its busy.
If he needs to run around after school thats not unreasonable of him, but if you need to get home, but theres also a ban on watching cartoons or a film, then maybe youre making more work for yourself than is necessary,

I actually find it extremely refreshing! So much parenting advice these days exhausts me, with long scripts to be read out to the child and things you should never say lest you ruin them for life. Sometimes just a no is fine. No further discussion needed.