DH put chili in my food AGAIN

[BelloItalia]

Ok I may be over reacting as I’m unwell and stressed but I’m so fucking angry

DH has this habit of putting chili in everything - despite the fact that I don’t like spicy food. He doesn’t even like spicy food himself, he’s one of these people that pretends to like it. It’s infuriating.

He loves to cook chicken on the BBQ - and it’s always a spicy jerk chicken coating mixed with ghost chilis etc. I’ve said I don’t like it, he says I do (don’t even get me started on that one). Everytime he says he’s doing chicken I always say “don’t do jerk chicken as I don’t want chili” he replies “don’t worry, I won’t make it spicy” - it’s always spicy.

When he cooks burgers he insists on making this spicy mayo stuff with jalepenos (I know that’s spent wrong, auto correct is in Italian and I can’t be bothered). I always say don’t put it on mine, he always does. Last time I said “if mine has any chili on it I won’t be eating it”. For once he didn’t put any on. I made a point of saying how lovely it was etc

So tonight he’s making burgers and I said “remember, no chili on mine). He said “ok”

My burger had chili on it. I said “why have you put chili on it??” He said “I havnt” I said I can taste it!” He said “no you can’t” (fucking infuriating!!!!)

never mind tasting it - I could literally see it!!!

WTF does he do this? I’m more wound up than usual as he’s been a twat all night. Picking me up when he knows I’m suffering bad period I pains, going on and on about my glasses - he’s such a dick when he’s drinking.

anyway - the food thing - AIBU to. E actually livid about it this time?

Start putting something in all of his food that you know he doesn't like - see how that goes down! He sounds like a childish dickhead.

What is his problem with your glasses?

Yes it does and there is garlic powder in everything so lots of from scratch cooking. But he is worth the effort 😀

You DH has no consideration for your feelings no matter how often you tell him. Why is he in control of the cooking when he adds chilli to food he knows you don't like?

He sounds like jerk. Make your own food and thst way you get to eat what you want and like. If he likes chilli's so much, g3 can cook his own meals. Who says you have yo eat what that muppet makes you?

If I were, I'd be seriously considering ending the relationship. He's gaslighting you and telling you you like chilli when you have clearly told him multiple times that you don't. He does care.

What else does he like to take control of?

Subtle abuse. Gaslighting. Showing a complete disregard for your feelings. However you look at it this is nothing to do with food and everything to do with him being manipulative. He knows how much it affects you but he still does it. It's not healthy. Are you sure you really want to be with a man who has so little respect for you?

Why does he eat chilli if he doesn’t like it and why lie about putting it in yours? Don’t get it- is he trying to be like a super cool Jamie Oliver ‘ oh a splash of this and a dash of that’ none of which has been measured and ends up so spiced that it’s hard to taste coz your mouth is on fire. If he won’t use it sparingly I’d throw all the chilli in the bin.

Just throw the spicy stuff away and don't tell him

He's a nasty piece of work.
I do the cooking dw doesn't like certain things so I cook hers first then add the extras I like,onion, garlic chilli etc.
I want her to enjoy what I've made and not an ordeal.
His line of thinking is very strange.

This sounds like what my parents used to do to me as a child. If there was something I wouldn’t eat, they would hide it in my food then do a “gotcha” if I ate it. I rarely ate it, it wasn’t I didn’t like the stuff, it was that it made me sick or retch if I ate it. It took me a long time as an adult not to deconstruct every meal to check it wasn’t “contaminated”

Whenever I say I don’t eat spicy food, people will say “oh this isn’t spicy” then I eat it and it has spice in it. I don’t know if they are gaslighting or if they genuinely don’t realise I mean I can’t eat any spice.

Your husband sounds like a dick though.

You could put chili on his cornflakes, then say 'But you LIKE chili!' And maybe try it in his custard or his ice-cream? It might improve cheesecake too...

I'd throw it straight into the bin in front of him. Then order a takeaway just for myself. He's a stupid dick. I wouldn't put up with it. Ok n the bin every time, eventually he'd get get the message.

He’s an abusive arse and also needs to up his jerk chicken game, it’s scotch bonnet that you use. Aside from that, he’s had plenty of opportunities to correct his behaviour and is choosing not to. I’d think about whether this relationship is worthwhile.

ODFOD

In my family we all like flavourful foods enjoy garlic 🧄 ginger 🫚 herbs 🪴 and some spices but my daughter and I don’t like our food too spicy 🌶️ 🥵 only mildly spiced .
Husband likes his a bit spicier so like a normal nice person would, the meal is made milder and he has his extra chilli sauce on the side ( that might be cholula sauce if it’s Mexican food or sriracha if it’s other Asian food or maybe Tabasco )
He’s making a point your husband and he’s being nasty .
he can’t tell you what foods you like and dislike !
,

I used to love chili and could tolerate it at high levels. However, since the menopause my tolerance has dropped and DH still cooks food at the same levels of chilli as before. Every Saturday I tell him not to put too much chilli in but he does.

Hmmmm....what sort of things does HE not like/ can't tolerate, OP?
Maybe make a list
Then work your way slowly and deliciously through that list
Enjoy 😊 👍 this dish, served cold...

Why don’t you just get rid of all the chillis, chilli powder, seasonings with chilli in whatever he uses? If he buys any more or brings them
in when you see them just bin them

Or get rid of the arsehole husband.

My DP once put black pudding in a casserole, knowing I don't like it, to see if I would guess. He told me after, I felt lied to. He's never tried anything like that again. But for your DH to keep doing it, knowing you asked not to, and then lie about it...that'd be the end for me