DH put chili in my food AGAIN

[BelloItalia]

Ok I may be over reacting as I’m unwell and stressed but I’m so fucking angry

DH has this habit of putting chili in everything - despite the fact that I don’t like spicy food. He doesn’t even like spicy food himself, he’s one of these people that pretends to like it. It’s infuriating.

He loves to cook chicken on the BBQ - and it’s always a spicy jerk chicken coating mixed with ghost chilis etc. I’ve said I don’t like it, he says I do (don’t even get me started on that one). Everytime he says he’s doing chicken I always say “don’t do jerk chicken as I don’t want chili” he replies “don’t worry, I won’t make it spicy” - it’s always spicy.

When he cooks burgers he insists on making this spicy mayo stuff with jalepenos (I know that’s spent wrong, auto correct is in Italian and I can’t be bothered). I always say don’t put it on mine, he always does. Last time I said “if mine has any chili on it I won’t be eating it”. For once he didn’t put any on. I made a point of saying how lovely it was etc

So tonight he’s making burgers and I said “remember, no chili on mine). He said “ok”

My burger had chili on it. I said “why have you put chili on it??” He said “I havnt” I said I can taste it!” He said “no you can’t” (fucking infuriating!!!!)

never mind tasting it - I could literally see it!!!

WTF does he do this? I’m more wound up than usual as he’s been a twat all night. Picking me up when he knows I’m suffering bad period I pains, going on and on about my glasses - he’s such a dick when he’s drinking.

anyway - the food thing - AIBU to. E actually livid about it this time?

He really gives zero fucks about you.

I hate experimental cooks who care nothing for whether the person actually wants to eat it. So grim.

I do all the cooking in my house. My partner pulls his weight by doing the bins, cleaning the cars, making nice coffees etc but can stay the fuck away from my meals. Maybe try for a different separation of duties like above?

He’s bullying you and making out it’s a joke so you seem unreasonable . Why do you accept it? Even if he’s nice sometimes that doesn’t make up for the times he’s mean to you. That’s not how relationships work. He shouldn’t be picking you up with out your consent either.

Do you cook for him sometimes? If you do tip a whole tub of chilli flakes on HIS meal just as you place it in front of him.
"oops, that came out a bit quick - but I know you love them so much you'll be fine"
As for the glasses, if someone did that to me I'd be aiming at their eyes or groin

I think it’s the fact that what he’s doing is totally unnecessary and deliberately trying to make you miserable that’s the problem (he’s not just making a big batch of curry that’s to his taste rather than yours, he’s actively adding a spicy condiment to your portion of food which could easily be served plain).

It’s the intention rather than just making food that you dislike that makes it abusive (it’s totally fine to cook a meal your partner doesn’t like occasionally as long as you’re happy for them to have an alternative and you’re not going out of your way to make it unpleasant for them).

I’d be shocked if this was the only example of this type of behaviour. He’s clearly a bit of a twat and doesn’t take into account your preferences or boundaries.

@BelloItalia i read your other post about this ! He is a selfish ignorant dick!
What he wants trumps what you what . Who would do that when they know you won’t eat it or like it !

As for your update date he is being abusive he is playing games with you . Like a play thing .your not his equal.
How long have you been married ? How long has this been going on for ?
Are you planning on continuing to live with him?

OP go back and read your messages and ask yourself 'if this was my daughter/sister/best friend then what would I be telling them?' I'm not sure what else you expect people to say except that this doesn't sound like a happy or a healthy relationship

Ok, there has to be a line somewhere. This guy is a jerk; this is not abuse. Come on.

You're not overreacting. Someone who loves you wouldn't do any of this. The chilli thing especially is really, really awful. It's actually cruel.

He’s acting like he hates you and resents you.
Has he told you that you’ve done something to hurt him?
This is crazy and hurtful and abusive if it continues.

Why do you stay with this abusive cunt?

What is the thing with the glasses?

Why are you with this bellend ?

You are seeing the true him. Alcohol lowers inhibitions so he’s not pretending to be nice any more.
ltb. It won’t get any better.

Definitely a large amount of sennacot in the favourite that you've "lovingly" cooked for him . . .🙃🙃

Make your own food.

This has definitely been posted before. Assuming it’s the same poster, take the advice you received before?

This sounds like another post I read where a husband kept making food the OP doesn't like, or always experimenting....ruining the food etc

Regardless, this sounds very familiar.

He sounds like he enjoys tormenting you OP. It is actually quite disturbing to read he keeps putting chilli on your food - despite knowing full well you don't like or want it. The picking you up echos this, as it adds further to your discomfort. I assume you are wearing glasses and he is mocking them.

What is your situation OP? I personally couldn't stay with a man who had such a demonstrative disregard for me. It is most concerning.

I think I’d be telling him every time you serve my food with chilli it will go straight in the bin (and have a few frozen meals you can ping, nice ones!)

although it sounds better to bin him tbh.

@ThinWomansBrain that brilliant idea, made me laugh out loud 🤣

My partner loves highly spiced food. I hate it. I cook most (all the time) so I cook plain food and he adds whatever he wants afterwards. Excepion is chilli but he can just sling some more chilli powder in his bowl when it's dished up. He can't stand pasta, I love it so if I cook pasta I cook something different for him. Your partner doesn't care about accomodating your tastes. He sounds unpleasant.

God, wipe the food into his eyeballs and tell him there’s no chili… or maybe his genitals…

It's that he lied to you over something so pointless to lie about.

wtf kind of comment is that?!?