Does this seem like I’m abandoning 24 year old son?

[4daystobday]

Dh grew up in a rural town and while we have lived in our current city for the last 30 years, the plan for some time now has been to move back to his home town.
Ds 24 has changed his mind and doesn’t want to move now, he still lives at home and has asd/adhd he has a job, drives and a side hustle that keeps him busy so he potentially could manage by himself but has never shown signs of planning to move out although I know he’s not managing to save much so has no long term plan.
He also doesn’t have any close friends or any other family here.
AIBU to think we could still move without him or would that look like abandoning him? He was keen to move with us until recently and I won’t pretend we’re not very disappointed.
I think he thought if he decides not to come the move will not happen but I think we’ve got our hearts set on this move now but Ds has never lived independently and does get a lot of anxiety.
It’s 160 miles.

I’m so sorry @Evilwitchwhoroams.

It is very kind of you to impart some of your knowledge gained through that experience

You’re not abandoning him. You’ve invited him to move with you, and it’s up to him whether he accepts or not.

Has your son tried to move out?

I myself have ASD and I didn’t cope at all moving away to university and ended up moving back home because I couldn’t function.

An intermediate stage would have helped, and is how I went back the following year to restart my degree. Intermediate stages have also helped me to buy a new house the other side of town, as it turned out that moving house and a mortgage instead of renting was too much at once.