New thread- Told DP I was upset by SKs' behaviours

[innersilentscreams]

I thought I'd make a new thread to let you know that I have stayed strong, am enjoying my peace (and cat).
I have to go to work very soon so I will post later this evening, but thank you all so much for your messages and support!

He has messaged to meet up but I have said no. His things are packed up and we have financial issues to sort like joint account and investments so blocking outright isn't doable yet. I am not worried for my safety.

Some lovely colleagues at work have been helpful- especially one who has been in a very similar situation in the past, who said it doesn't get better, only worse.

He's messaged the typical misses me, can't believe how things are text now, but no apology. When I told him the way I have been disrespected and then the way he spoke to me and left was shockingly undeserved, he ignored that and just kept asking me to meet him. I said no.

Well done for setting your boundaries and standing firm.

He knows he’s blown it so he’ll be doing his damnedest to want to talk etc etc but talk is cheap and hrs had enough time previously to deal with his feral kids and chose not to.

His loss OP

His messages to you are completely in keeping with someone who wants their cushy number back but who has no intention of acknowledging, let alone addressing, his kids' objectionable behaviour.

So he’s the good guy and you’re u reasonable 🙄 got it. And good riddance

Cats before twats should be trademarked.
There should be a campaign.
Merch.
And OP I wish Sid Snot and the Prat Pistols a very BORING time off school including an egg hunt round at grandma’s.

I'll buy a Cats Before Twats mug!

I’m serious. You could launch an army off the back of it.

I’m so glad to see this update! Well done for staying strong and holding your own. You really will be happier in the long run. Make sure you continue to lean on the support of those around you who understand what you’re going through x

Well done OP.
He's scum.
He absolutely thinks you will crack.
Treat this as a real sporting battle of wills.
I think it will be very entertaining to wait him out.

You are so well out of this.
If you allowed him back in he absolutely would allow this to continue.

He and his children have zero respect for you.
Take it back fully by NEVER allowing him the chance to meet you and sort anything out.
You are now in control.

So pleased for you.

Well done OP! I hope both you and the cat are sitting in your nice, peaceful and clean home with Cheshire-sized grins. Enjoy

It’s out there already

It’s not a new saying
google it
You can get wallets, key rings, decorations etc all with this saying

On Amazon

Treat yourself!

What about your security cameras, though? Does he still have viewing rights to those?

I do hope not.

How are you feeling about it all, @innersilentscreams ? Are you ok about the relationship ending? Even in these circumstances you might feel sad, so I hope you are relieved enough that the sadness is very diluted.

Enjoy your peace and quiet, OP.

I sm not surprised he hasn't apologised. The arse can't see he has done anything wrong, and no doubt feels wronged.

Enjoy a stress- free weekend :)

I am very sad- obviously there were a lot of loving, good times over the past 4 years. It's an issiue that has come up numerous times (his kids disrespecting my things or breaking them, as well as their behaviour in public)- and it was always me raising things with a view to working things out.

This time, the way he responded, the way things escalated...

I'm still in shock really.

I espected him to say yep, you know, those groundrules we discussed keep being broken and I can see it's an issue. I'll speak with them in the morning and reiterate the basics, don't worry.

But here we are.

Yes I'm very sad.
I'm sad and angry, because it didn't have to be like this at all. If I had insulted his kids, been rude to them etc I would understand his reaction. But I wasn't at all.

His refusal to apologise or to see that it was excusing and not mediating adds further insult to injury.

But I will keep focusing on the future- getting out more, seeing family, take a trip to see friends (get a cat sitter).

x

obviously there were a lot of loving, good times over the past 4 years.

there’s no “obviously” about it op. I think with time you’ll realise that there really were not a lot of loving and good times. How could there be?

good for you op.
stay strong

Of course there will have been good times and it’s going to take time.
The important thing is when you hit a low point, don’t give in as he will try and work his way back in.
Even if he was the nicest man, and apologised, this situation is untenable. From a practical point of view, you could have another ten years of these kids behaving like this.
In fact, once they get a bit older it would be going out and coming in pissed, waking you up.
Sadly, love isn’t enough even if it’s good, you need to be compatible and have similar values.
You will get there.

Time for a name change on here for you Inner, as you no longer have to scream in silence😃

Wishing love and peace in your fabulous new life. x

I’m sorry things have worked out like this. You sound very grounded and I wish you a gentle recovery and all the happiness going forward.

Of course you feel sad, that is understandable.

But he was abusive and so were his children.
They were deliberately antagonistic towards you and their behaviour was a reflection of that.

Their behaviour was not normal.
I have had hundreds of children in my house from 5 years to early 20's and there has never been the slightest hint of that type of behaviour.

They are lovely respectful children that appreciated the playdate, hanging out, food provided to them over many years.
Even teens I was meeting for the first time.
Without exception, great kids.

His children are dragged up and as they become adults I would be fearful that their behaviour would become worse towards you as their arrogance grew.

You are so well out of this, sad though you are.

We are here for you.

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