I called him a f**king tramp. DH overheard and is now furious

[ionlysaidone1]

Aibu?

DHs older son is 14. He doesn't treat the house with any respect when he's here and I understand that can just be teens so I try so hard to bite my tongue.

But one thing I cannot stand is the state of the toilet whenever he's here. He will literally piss all over it, down the back of the toilet, sometimes it's on the floor etc..

I have tried REPEATEDLY to bring this up with DH who minimises completely saying it's not that bad, only takes two seconds to clean up, I'm exaggerating, it's not his son despite it only happening when he's here obviously.

I have taken to shouting DSS in every time I notice it and making him clean the toilet but it's still happening. He's revolting.

Anyway, tonight I came to use the bathroom after SS and lo and behold the seat is a mess again, piss in the back between the cistern and toilet seat. I was so annoyed that I just went WHAT A FUCKING TRAMP! And then shouted SS to get in there and clean it up.

SS didn't hear the tramp comment but DH did and now he's furious.

I've apologised for calling SS a tramp

but said I won't apologise for being angry at this happening AGAIN.

H thinks I've committed some cardinal sin calling his son a tramp but honestly, if the shoe fits! If he doesn't like it he should do more to get through to his son.

I'm so over this situation it's disgusting.

You’re kidding, right?

If any of my kids consistently pissed up a toilet wall, they’d be in serious trouble. wtf is wrong with all you enablers? Why are you excusing such disgusting behaviour? This isn’t a one-off.

Not as horrible as urinating all over the toilet instead of pointing it into the pan.

What is wrong with you wanting to normalise a woman saying ‘fuck’ to an underage boy?

Seriously? People are accepting 14yo youths pissing on the floor and walls of their bathrooms and just accepting it. Fucking hells fucking bells!

I'm trying to imagine how long I would have got away with pissing on the floor of our house when I was 14 years old before either of my parents traumatically sectioned my head parts!

Please tell me you are having a laugh!

She didn't. She said it ABOUT him when she discovered yet another disgusting mess he left all over the toilet. He was elsewhere. She THEN called him up to clean it.

14yo boys must hear the word 'fuck' ten times a day.

There is no way that saying fuck to this kid is worse than his total failure to piss in a bowl 14" x 18" from a foot away - Jesus!

I have to say that I'd be thinking hard about staying with someone who called my child a 'fucking tramp.' For me, it would probably be a deal breaker.

That sounds as though it would be a result for OP, no more putting up with her scummy SS and his equally scummy father.

I think swearing at a child isn't cool.

But I would tell SS to start sitting down and saying to DH either he speak to SS or takes responsibility for cleaning it if its not that bad

It's an intimidation technique and a cowardly one. The lad's girlfriends are in for a fun time unless he learns better behaviour.

DH cleans it up if he can't teach his son how to pee properly.

No
no it’s not

OP didn't swear at him. She said it about him before calling him to clean it up.

Tramp is an odd word to use but YANBU

The amount of people saying "I wouldn't let anyone speak to my kids like that", clearly you didn't read it properly. She said he didn't hear it, because she wasn't talking directly to him and had to actually call him to come and clean it up. If my son was doing that, I would not mind if someone spoke to him that way, if he'd been repeatedly told to clean up after himself. They need to learn what's acceptable and what's not!!

That.

he doesn’t care coz he doesn’t do nothing about it. First time he has to do it, he will call his dearly boy some nice other names I am sure…

I’d take a piss in one of his shoes every time he does it. Failing that, make his dad clean it every single time

Not normal from males and not acceptable.
However, I had a partner who's daughters did this and wet all over the seat every time they went.
I used the method of getting him in there every single time to clean it.
He still would deny it even when my own kids weren't even home and claim it wasn't them 🤦

That is why he is no longer a partner. I would literally get called a liar for anything I had a problem with them doing (drawing on my furniture, taking my kids sweets aswell as their own, leaving soiled clothes under a bed, putting paper into a toaster... I could go on)

I hate to say it but as a step parent you rarely get respected and listened to by the other parent. It's usually a massive list of excuses

Oh... And I have also called my own kids fing tramps when they have behaved like them so 🤷

We have a BIL who used to visit but no longer thank God, he always sprayed it all over and never cleaned up after himself.

I’d probably make a point of it by pissing in a cup and pouring it on him when he’s sitting down and ask how he likes it. I’ve got no patience for this, slippery slope to thinking women mop up after men.

Sure you would!

Do you get on with the ss?is he deliberately doing it to wind you up or cause friction between you and your husband?

I’m a stepmother. If my stepchild is really naughty of course I provide discipline, but it’s a fine balance as I am not the parent.

Whose house is it? If its yours you'll need to say to partner & stepson - my house my rules even if it means partner has to see child outside of the house