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SIL furious about Mother’s Day, were we wrong?

457 replies

FreakingOutRightNow123 · 31/03/2025 14:36

Background:

I have no children so always see my parent’s on the actual Mother’s Day / Father’s Day to celebrate.

I have several siblings who are parents themselves however and quite rightly the actual day is about celebrating them / their partners so they organise something with my parents for another day.

This has been our usual routine for years.

The situation:

My siblings took my parents out for lunch to celebrate Mother’s Day last Saturday; this included my DB. I didn’t attend as I already had plans with my parents for yesterday.

DB was supposed to be taking SIL and their 2 children out to celebrate Mother’s Day yesterday however late Saturday afternoon, SIL’s mother called to say she was back early from holiday (after having an argument with her partner) so was available to celebrate Mother’s Day after all and invited all her children and grandchildren to her house but NOT their partners as she wanted to just spend time with her children and grandchildren only. SIL decided to take her mum up on her offer and cancelled with DB saying her mum was probably upset about the falling out with her partner, they could celebrate another time etc. Considering it was Mother’s Day, DB accepted it with good grace as at the end of that day it was SIL’s day so he wanted her to do what she wanted.

My plan was to cook for my parents at home however DB called to explain the situation and asked if we wanted to go out to eat as he had a reservation for 4 people going begging (it was too late to cancel and he would have lost his £200 deposit) so my parents and I agreed and went to the restaurant he originally planned to take SIL and the kids too. Now just to be clear, I paid for everyone in full (gave DB back his deposit) as it was supposed to be my treat anyway.

SIL is now furious with all four of us and our “disgusting behaviour” and after several tongue lashings is not speaking to any of us.

The way I see it, SIL cancelled in favour of her mother and so DB was at a loose end (we didn’t hijack him away from her), he was going to lose £200 for the reservation but now hasn’t (in fact he got a free meal out of it) and SIL is still free to go to the restaurant another time like she suggested herself. It’s also not like DB spent the day doing anything nefarious either, he literally spent Mother’s Day with his mother only because SIL wasn’t available. I honestly don’t see how SIL lost out by us going instead.

So were we wrong?

Oh and just to be clear, there is nothing particularly meaningful or special about the restaurant other than that it does good food; we’ve all been there several times both together and separately. In fact, we’ve been going there as a family long before SIL was even in the picture so the particular restaurant is not the issue.

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 03/04/2025 19:07

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · Today 08:42

She wanted your DB to spend the day alone at home. She’s furious that that didn’t happen and he spent his time where she wanted him alone, with family at a social gathering instead. She has now lost her shit because she didn’t in fact control him that day.

Ooh, that's a really good interpretation.

beetface · 04/04/2025 06:33

SIL feels it’s worse that OP paid for the meal as she and she and the kids missed out on the treat and DB had a nice time without them. She’s a piece of work. I feel for your DB. Down the road she will use the children as weapons against DB and family if they don’t tie the line and she will tell the children that it’s because dad’s family treats her badly. I might make myself ready to record any such future phone calls. My BIL was in a controlling relationship, big guy with a petite wife. She never went off like this as she had it together so most people didn’t see. No physical abuse but mentally she pretty much broke him using shame and the kids to control him.

BillyILash · 04/04/2025 17:40

Can you let us know how things have gone @FreakingOutRightNow123.

Is your DB ok, how are your parents? And you x

RadFs · 09/04/2025 13:20

Hi @FreakingOutRightNow123 whats the situation with your SIL now?

redshoesredlaces · 09/04/2025 18:15

OP do you have an update?

roshi42 · 10/04/2025 01:02

Yes, I keep thinking about this one! I’d love to know if you’ve shed any light on what the problem actually was from her perspective as it’s so mystifying!

Also, I hope you’ve stuck to not doing her accounts - to make your parents cry like that! It’s so unacceptable.

Monstertruckstwo · 14/04/2025 20:38

How are things now OP?
I hope you all got a huge apology

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