First Mother’s Day - DH didn’t put anything on socials

[Genie98]

AIBU to be a bit gutted that my DH didn’t put a post up on socials yesterday to mark my first Mother’s Day? My feeds were full of other posts celebrating their Mum’s and I was hoping DH would have done something to mark the occasion. He has done the odd birthday post in the past and posted about our engagement/wedding etc so it’s not that he has never used it.

Just feeling a bit deflated and a bit jealous of my mum friends who had lovely messages and photo’s from their OH’s.

First world problems 🙄 get a grip

You do realise behind many of those gushing posts on social media are not so happy relationships.

I remember bumping into a friend at a child friendly event on a Bank Holiday. Both of us had grumpy children with us. We joked about all the happy family pictures we would see later on Facebook. We both managed to find a photo without a scowling child in it and posted it on social media, tagging each other with a laughing emoji. To everyone else seeing these photos we had had an amazing time with happy, smiley children, but we knew the truth!

Did it even happen if it's not on Instagram? 😆😆😆

Do you realise just how pathetic this sounds? Do you want to bring your child up to be so vacuous?
I’d recommend stepping away from social media and all the bullshit and actually live your life, you never know you might find you enjoy it…..

And this is the level of intelligence that was allowed to vote us out of Europe and is bringing up the next generation.

My DH doesn't make any social media posts about anniversaries, mother's day or the like.
I wouldn't expect him to. I still had a lovely day.

Not sure how the Brexit referendum is relevant here, but the majority of people under 40 voted to remain. It was older people who voted to leave. And the referendum was nearly 9 years ago now. There is a whole generation of young adults who didn't even get to vote either way. Younger people are having to live with the consequences of a decision their parents and grandparents made.

They may be vacuous on social media, but they certainly cannot be held responsible for the political mess here. That just makes you sound equally as stupid.

You really aren’t.

In your posts you describe yourself as an agent less, passive victim of your time, ‘oh I wish I was born in a different time, but so sadly I was not so I have to be like this ( Sad face).’
You really don’t have to be like this.

You can choose to be however you want.
You can choose where you do and do not put your attention.

This posts confirms for me that social media is all fake. OP has to force her man to post something nice about her on Fb 🤣 so tragic OP

Grow up. This is pathetic and embarrassing.

I can quite believe it did happen, the young today can often seem totally vacous and shallow. It makes me sad for the future a little

An adult conversation and no falling out - nothing wrong with demanding certain standards from our men.

Yep, it’s definitely you from the birthday thread. Do you have nothing better to do?

You said that last time, hun xx

Well said

You sound 🤮..
’ nothing wrong with demanding certain standards from our men ‘🙄
Posting up crap on social media
‘ oh look how amazing my husband is ‘
All for the benefit of your friends ..
Grow up OP , you sound like a teenager I’m afraid…

Clearly not that strong or independent if you need social media posts to validate yourself and your relationships.

@Genie98 nip this in the bud now.

Sit him down and tell him that birthdays, anniversaries, Mums Day and Valentine's day are days where you want fuss and to be shown by him how much you are loved and appreciated.

Set an expectation clearly so there is no doubt. Tell him you want fuss. You wants Social Media posts and gifts. Tell him that you will do the same for him. Explain these things make you feel special and appreciated.

Some men (and woman) need a clear expectation laid out for them.

If you are clear communicating this now, and he still fails to step up then you know he doesn't care because if he could, he would.

You need to stop assuming we are all a bunch of pensioners on here and out of touch. You have mentioned in this thread that it's the done thing for your age group...

Its not.

My 22 year old son hasn't used social media for posting updates on his life for a long time. Same with my 28 year old niece. They both said its seen to be cringeworthy these days. I haven't read the entire thread but I bet there are others on Mumsnet that feel the same.
When Facebook/Instagram etc first started, it was a novelty and everyone used the "Whats on my mind" to post random status updates, but as the years have gone by, people have worked out that it's people living in a fake, fantasy world painting an envious picture of their lives.
I have an old work friend who posts constantly about her perfect life, purchases, holidays, you name it. She will put a post up at 8am on a Saturday morning "Housework done, check, washing on the line, check, hair appointment at 10am, check, chilling in the garden with my lovely hubs later" she will post a photo of a cup of coffee or something similar, carefully shot to capture a new Smeg toaster or something she wants the world to know she's bought. When she's posted that she's been to the gym, she will post a stock photo of a pair of dumbells. We also get photos of holiday countdown trackers too. And come Christmas it's ramped up. She posts the contents of her fridge when she's done her Xmas food shop. Hundreds of eyes are rolling (her audience) as we scroll by, as we all know that deep down she is miserable and is insecure as her husband cheated on her and she has racked up loads of debt on credit cards. Why do I not delete her as a friend then you might ask? Because I think it's hilarious!! Inside, I am laughing at her!!

I'm not saying that you are as bad as this person, but you need to take a step back, have some emotional intelligence and ask yourself whether 98% of us that voted YABU have a point.

Hahaha if my DH sat me down with a lots of expectations I would tell him to fuck right off.

I would lose all respect for my spouse and get the ICK.

He did the right thing. It's your DC who should give you a card or gift, and it's going to be another X amount of years until they can type a social post. Don't be ridiculous! It's not for your DH to post, and if you think other DHs are doing it, it's most likely because the wife/mother has badgered him into doing it or she's grabbed his phone, taken pics, written a post and tagged herself.

Grow up

😂😂😂😂😂

This has to be an April fool right?

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

If the OP's husband gets her a card and present and treats her to a nice meal on Mother's Day but fails to post about it on "socials", did it really happen?

(Of course, the OP did post about it on her own "socials" so maybe it's Schroedinger's Mother's Day, which both did and didn't happen.)

@Genie98 I think you should give some real thought to the level of importance you are placing on social media. You know that social media doesn't reflect real life, because your husband's social media doesn't reflect the effort he made for you in real life. By that measure, you should assume that nothing you see on social media (or don't see on social media) reflects real life. Social media is about showing off to people who don't matter. The reason they don't matter is that if they did, you would be seeing them in real life or keeping in contact by phone or text and they would know what is going on in your life without needing to see it on Instagram. So social media is in fact for and about people who don't really matter to you. Not only are they people who don't matter, you don't have a clue what is going on in their lives. Your work colleague's husband might be a shit to her 365 days a year but because he posts a picture of the Mother's Day flowers he got her on Instagram he's winning the dad/husband game? See, it's ridiculous.

Follow your husband's example. Forget about social media and focus on living real life in the real world.