First Mother’s Day - DH didn’t put anything on socials

[Genie98]

AIBU to be a bit gutted that my DH didn’t put a post up on socials yesterday to mark my first Mother’s Day? My feeds were full of other posts celebrating their Mum’s and I was hoping DH would have done something to mark the occasion. He has done the odd birthday post in the past and posted about our engagement/wedding etc so it’s not that he has never used it.

Just feeling a bit deflated and a bit jealous of my mum friends who had lovely messages and photo’s from their OH’s.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos is right, @Genie98 - just act as if you are from a different era. Be grateful for actual effort and time spent and step away from social media. It is sad that you put more effort into a social media post than into the present/card for someone.

Im sorry, but valuing performative social media fluff over real life is a toxic and horrible way to live - you can choose not to live this way, and you can start by NOT whingeing at your dh about the lack of a SM Mother’s Day post.

I said it earlier but from the tone of OP's responses I'm convinced this thread is a wind up. April Fool's one day early?

I'm increasingly starting to think its a pisstake actually.

I rolled my eyes at the socials yesterday. I had a lovely Mothers Day myself but didn't post about it. I find it quite cringe-making really...it has become such a show.

It’s April fools in Australia isn’t it?

If it means so much to you tell him to do it.

Social media posts don’t show that you care.

Why didn’t you gush over him all over social media? He did a lot.

Oh my GOD, you seriously seriously need to get some fucking perspective and get off "socials", because what you've just posted is genuinely insane.

You are making yourself miserable. And for what? Because your totally fake bullshit served up to curry favour with people you don't even know who don't really care and 100% aren't worth it isn't as good as their totally fake bullshit?

Social media is garbage. It's noise. It's not where real life takes place. If it's taking up this much space in your head, you need to delete it, urgently.

You are more unreasonable than anything else I’ve read on here for ages.

This. Who would actually give a shit?
Do you have a list of all the husbands who didn’t mention their wives in Mother’s Day?!

This is ridiculous. Most people moaned about not getting anything and you’re moaning he didn’t put it on sm!! Smdh! It’s massive for people your age? Is it? People will have noticed he didn’t put anything on? Really? Do you think people care that much about your life?

I said earlier I posted a picture on my story and said how lucky I was - I don’t take it for granted.

If you think this OP is bad, you need to cast a beady over last week's birthday girl's postcards from the (l)edge. If you can find the thread that DIDN'T get swiped.

That was next level batshittery.

I'm absolutely agog at your update (if this is actually real.)

You are letting SM rule your life. It really is just NOT IMPORTANT.

If you do actually say something to your DH (and I strongly suggest you don't) he is just going to think you are an ungrateful, self absorbed, shallow woman who is obsessed with socials to an unhealthy degree.

Some people got nothing from thoughtless husbands or kids.
Some people got nothing because they don't have any kids even though they desperately want t them.
Some people had to pretend to be surprised when they received a gift from their little child even though they bought it themselves because they have no-one else to do it.
in other words - get a grip. You have a lot. How vacuous to care about social media 'likes' ffs.

This is easily one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever read on here.

I don’t know anyone who would put stuff on socials like that - it would be very embarrassing and cringey.

If you told me that a post on social media was worth more than real life actual effort I would be quite upset and extremely disappointed in you. If I decided to stay with someone who appears so shallow, you would receive no future gifts from me, I would purposefully just post 'happy birthday', 'Merry Christmas' on your social media and if you complained I would refer you back to this! If your friends and family are sitting wondering why your husband hasn't posted on social media they have too much time on their hands and need to get a life

So you're batshit insane and you have no intention of trying to get your head straight. Fine. Enjoy your misery from comparing yourself to other people's curated lies, and your divorce.

The best sign of a relationship, is no sign of it on Facebook.

This has to be a wind up. Unless op is 12, in which case there are bigger issues here.

Oh dear, OP. I think the pages and pages of comments about your attentive and appreciative partner/DH has been a waste of typing.

He sounds a good un, really, and you sound lucky. Even if he doesn’t say so, I really think he will be taken aback by this ‘feedback’ from you, which is essentially to do a bit better next year. I have a friend who used to make a mental note of little things like this rather than raise them with her now ex.

So instead of enjoying being treated to a nice day, you are ungrateful because your DH didn’t post on socials so other people (who btw most likely do not care) can see how much he cares about you?

I cringe for you and I feel very sorry for your DH.

How old are you? I have friends and family members of all ages and I know no one who would be upset because they DH didn’t post on socials about them.

LIVE A REAL LIFE.

@Vye1988 makes a very good point, @Genie98. If you could only have one, which would you prefer - the card/flowers/chocolates/meal OR the gushing social media post, which would you want?

I am willing to bet that you’d chose the actual gifts etc rather than the SM post, which shows that you know which has the most real value. Once you see that, surely you will also see that complaining about the lack of a SM post would look incredibly petty and immature.

But you can opt out you know? I get that it’s a big thing for younger people but only if you allow it to be so. There’s so much stuff to do and enjoy in life and this just adds a whole layer of unnecessary complication, expectation and potential disappointment over things that really don’t matter. If other people would seriously have noticed or be bothered that your DH hasn’t posted something, it’s a bit weird. I am probably a bit old but I genuinely don’t get what there is to be miffed at here. As far as I can see (and from what you’ve said) it’s simply to fulfil a believed expectation that such social media posting is necessary otherwise you will be seen to be somehow lacking by others. I mean who cares? Does it matter what people think about something so intimate as your relationship with your DH and child? I think if these kinds of things give you cause to be miffed, life is going to be very tough. I really don’t mean this unkindly at all, I just wish for you an easier life. Best wishes.