To expect DH to wake up when the kids do?!

[Mumof3Chaos]

Honestly, I am FUMING this morning. Every single day, without fail, the kids wake up at the crack of dawn (thanks to the flipping clock change making it even worse), and every single day DH just magically doesn’t hear them. I swear the man could sleep through a fire alarm.

So there I am, dealing with 3yo screaming because she wanted the blue cup (which is in the dishwasher, obvs), 7yo crying cos he can’t find his school tie, and 10yo shouting down that she’s got no clean PE socks (despite me washing a million pairs last week). Meanwhile, DH is just lying there, breathing deeply, pretending he’s in a coma or something.

I banged around a bit in the kitchen, “accidentally” dropped a spoon, even opened the curtains in the bedroom when I went back up, and NOTHING. He just strolled downstairs at 7:50 looking all bleary-eyed, stretching like he’s had the best sleep of his life, and went “Oh, are they up already?” LIKE NO, I’M JUST RUNNING A NOISE EXPERIMENT.

AIBU to expect him to get up and help instead of playing dead every morning?! Cos I swear if he does it again tomorrow I might just ‘forget’ to make him a cup of tea for the rest of the year.

He doesn’t need to hear them. He just needs to set his alarm for a time before they usually wake up so he can shower etc before he gets them ready.

Like every other parent.

@Mumof3Chaos put the vaccuum outside the bedroom door last thing at night. first thing in the morning push it to his side of the bed and switch it on! if its one of those stick ones, put it on his pillow!

Send the kids into the bedroom to wake him up. Failing that, a cup of cold water!

It isn't just your DH your kids sound really badly behaved.

Tantrumming over a stupid cup. She can sod right off with that and get what she's given.

Crying over a tie at 7 and shouting about socks at 10.

So much chaos - why aren't clothes laid out and PE bags packed the night before instead of everyone screaming and shouting and crying.

Wow didn’t expect this many replies!!

To those saying just wake him up – I have tried, trust me. He just grunts and rolls over half the time, or mumbles “yeah in a minute” and then shockingly doesn’t actually get up. At this point, making noise is less me being passive aggressive and more just sheer frustration lol.

Kids get up around 6:30, we need to be out the door by 8:15, so no idea how he’s surprised they’re awake at 7:50?! Like mate, we do this EVERY DAY.

Agree on the older two needing to be more organised – I do tell them, but 10yo is at that “I know better than you” stage and 7yo would forget his own head if it wasn’t attached. I’ll try getting them more on it though.

Also, to the person who said about the tea in bed – love this idea. Maybe I’ll take him one at 6:30 tomorrow and see how he likes it.

Since when is 6.30 “crack of dawn”?

Well it probably feels like it if you’re always getting up alone while your ‘D’H lies in until near 8am.

Why are you making him a cup of tea ?

If he is the only breadwinner, he is entitled to this, if you are both working, this is a disgrace.

Tbf sunrise is at 6:40 today, so 6:30 is actually pre dawn!

It was 6.04 in uk

I would ask the 3 year to play a game of wake up daddy whilst you get sorted. Just put them in bed with him - give them some some tools to help wake him up

So he has been like this for a decade and you’re still seething and adding additional kids to your load?

There isn't a specific sunrise time that covers the whole of the UK. It varies quite significantly north vs south 😂

realist you’ll need to help the older two get organised the night before for a few weeks, and chase them up on it the night before ongoing. 7 is still little. I still put uniforms out for mine the night before for the 6 year old but 10 year old does his uniform and helps with bags and other paraphernalia . Can’t imagine the chaos of trying to do it in the morning. If DH doesn’t wake up maybe he should do the night before stuff. Make a list of what needs packing/preparing for each day. Mine are different, depending on the day’s sports, instruments etc

Some people are useless in the mornings so could you do a trade off where you do the early shift and your DH does bedtimes while you relax?

I'd also add that part of bedtime includes putting clothes etc out for the next day.

This^ 100%
Im a strong lifelong supporter of this idea. DH? Not entirely, I’m still trying to convert him after 25 years together 🙂
In the mean time I just wake him up physically if I need to accepting that I’m a light sleeper and he’s not.
Surprisingly if DD is shouting “Dad” he wakes up straight away not that she does it often…

YANBU

Tell him to get the fuck up, do it 10 mins early tomorrow so you can go ballistic so it’s clear he needs to get himself the fuck up in future.

@Mumof3Chaos Make sure you trip over his trainers and throw the tea all over him tomorrow then!! that will soon get him out of bed!

You can’t be serious 😂

Yanbu but didn’t the clock change help as they would have got up abit later in the new time?

He is certainly taking the easy way and pretending to be asleep, which is infuriating. Irrespective whether he works from home or goes out, getting up early is part of adulthood, more so when there are multiple young children. There are no excuses, only perhaps if he was working night shifts. My father, irrespective of how late he came from work and by late I mean past 10.30pm, would be up by 6am, get me ready etc. for school. Both my parents were involved and there was no competition of who does more or less.
It is sad that your husband just leaves you to deal with it all. Perhaps, as a household, you all need to be more organised the previous night. Things like uniforms, bags can be easily arranged beforehand. Rather than being passive aggressive in the morning, have a calm conversation in the day with your husband on each of your contributions. Has he always behaved liked this? If so, why have you not dealt it with it?

He doesn’t use an alarm clock? If he does but claims he doesn’t hear it then I suggest you tell him you need to get him to the hospital asap because you are concerned when he sleeps he reaches a coma like state.

Lazy fuck needs telling. He needs to get up and help Your job shouldn’t be 247 while he strolls down at 8am every day.

6:30 would be a lie in here! 😂
If DP isn’t working an early shift or come off a night shift then we take it in turns to have a lie in so only one of us has to get up. However I should add that we aren’t trying to get anyone out the door for school.
I would say either you take it in turns to get up on your own while the other one lies in till 8 or you both get up. I agree with send the 3 year old in to wake him- mine would be bouncing on the bed, that would wake him quick enough!