Accused of shoplifting after mistake. Should I complain?

[MARG07]

Tonight I went to Lidl which I go occasionally to (I'm not a regular shopper there and prefer Tesco, but I was shopping near it and popped into get a few items) I was pushing my 2 year old son in a push chair. He was asleep, and I had the hood pulled all the way down on the stroller. I got yogurts and put them on the hood (I was only getting a few things and couldn't get a trolley or basket as I was pushing my son) then i got milk and realising it would fall off the hood as there was already stuff on it (as it wasn't folded up but pulled all the way down) because he was asleep, in a split second I put it in a carrier bag I had at the side of the pushchair on a clip. Stupid I know but I wasn't thinking.

I then got two birthday cards and some chocolate and placed them on the hood as they were small and would not fall off, and proceeded to the check out. I didn't sleep well and was exhausted also. I was in a queue and by the time my turn came I paid for everything and began to walk out, as I was putting the stuff in the bag I suddenly saw the milk and remembered it, but before I could do anything, an aggressive security man began to shout at me and proceeded to accuse me of stealing. He pulled out all the items i had, including stuff I'd purchased minutes before in another shop and kept shouting to give it all back. (One or two items they sold too) I had a receipt for the stuff from another shop, and kept telling him to look at it. He just kept ranting and rifling through all my stuff though really really aggressively. Everyone was staring and another customer came over with my receipt which i had not taken, and handed it to him, he looked at it and then started going on about the milk not being on it and I was lost for words. I felt so embarrassed at everyone looking and couldn't properly defend myself.

I said it was a mistake that i only put the milk in the carrier bag as it would have fallen off the stroller, and that I couldn't carry a basket and push my sleeping son at the same time. But he was so aggressive and didn't listen at all.. He then just grabbed the milk and walked off. I still wanted the milk (it was actually what I'd gone in for) and was about to pay but he just left. I was almost in tears and just walked out.

It was a genuine error and I feel it should have been handled better. I told my husband when I came home and said I want to go back and officially complain, but he said as I didn't pay its my fault and better to just drop it. AIBU to ask for a manager tomorrow & make a complaint? Or should I just leave it? I can't stop thinking that maybe someone I knew saw me there and thinks I'm a shop lifter. I feel sick..

My husband however said to just forget it and go back there to shop again if I want to, as I've nothing to hide, but not to complain over it. He thinks it's best to just act like it didn't happen.

Any advice?

It isn't possible to shoplift by accident: if it's accidental, it's not shoplifting. To be shoplifting you have to be taking things on purpose in order to deprive the store of them and that is not what happened here.

This!

I'm a law graduate, albeit it was some years ago now!

Love your username btw @Jetplanesmeetingintheairtoberefuelled , I have the tune in my head now! I've always wondered about that lyric, I have honestly never seen it happen. And why would it be an autumnal thing?

I used the term "shoplifting" rather than "theft" because we are not concerned with the legal definition of theft here. Again, it's incredibly silly to get hung up on the legal test for theft when OP isn't being charged. She is just embarrassed that they put the milk back after she had been through the tills without paying for it.

It's not true that you have to leave the shop to be charged with theft, even though I still think that discussion of the legal test is besides the point. There is also nothing in the OP's post that suggests to me that she was assaulted. I am a lawyer if that makes any difference (although not a criminal lawyer).

As I have said earlier in the thread, they are not pursuing a theft charge and are not going after OP to recover costs as many supermarkets do. They didn't take her picture and ban her from the shop. All they did was put the milk back. The milk that the OP had taken through the tills concealed (inadvertently) in her bag without paying for it. OP should be glad she is not in a bigger mess and move on. She is in a weak position to make any complaint.

AmateurNoun, Common Assault can be any unwanted physical contact, which does seem to have happened. A search without consent is Common Assault, even by a police officer if the correct procedures aren't followed. See this webpage, which details that employers don't have the right to search employees (or anyone else) and that to do so would be Common Assault.
https://www.personneltoday.com/hr/legal-qa-staff-searches/
As for the rest, the OP isn't embarrassed that they put the milk back, she's embarrassed that they assaulted her and accused her of theft. And she has every right to be.
As for the legal definition of theft, you have to intentionally deprive the owner of his goods, which does mean leaving the shop. Shoplifting is just a specific instance of that. The legal definition is important - or don't you think supermarkets are under any obligation to follow the law? A strange attitude for a lawyer to take.
As you're a lawyer, you also know that trying to "recover costs" is unlawful, even though many supermarkets try to con people out of money this way, relying on people not knowing what the law is. You should also have more respect for the law and be more indignant at Lidl's flagrantly violating it.

No we musn’t forgeeeeeeeeeeet

What really annoys me here is that because you were a Mum with a small child you were an easy target. It’s likely the security guard knew it was only the milk. Round here people walk out with baskets full of meat - and the security guards just watch them go. Not that I blame them for this, but it seems like you were unfairly treated to a demeaning public humiliation, whilst those who walk out with hundreds of pounds worth just stroll on by.

Common Assault can be any unwanted physical contact, which does seem to have happened.

Nope. Common assault must involve an act that causes someone to fear immediate violence. OP did not have any such fear. This talk of assault is frankly nonsense.

That Personnel Today website today does not say that a search without consent would be common assault (and if it did it would be wrong).

As you're a lawyer, you also know that trying to "recover costs" is unlawful, even though many supermarkets try to con people out of money this way, relying on people not knowing what the law is.

It's actually a complex area, or at least it was the last time I was involved in this area. I have helped a few people to fight such claims when volunteering at legal clinics. There are some cases that the supermarkets point to support their position. It's definitely not "unlawful" for supermarkets to try to pursue a claim.

You should also have more respect for the law and be more indignant at Lidl's flagrantly violating it.

🙄 OK so not agreeing with your wrong interpretation of the law = lack of respect for the law. Got it.

Oh there was so much wrong with that post that I missed this.

As for the legal definition of theft, you have to intentionally deprive the owner of his goods, which does mean leaving the shop.

No. That's completely wrong as others have said further up the thread as well.

You really did not get the point.

What absolute claptrap this post is. I can just imagine you as the kind of person quoting Magna Carta as some sort of legal representation.

The OP was clearly in the wrong. She just needs to accept it.

I'm with OP. She paid for most things and security guard on a power trip should have applied common sense. There are ways to deal with people.

I once stole - by mistake - a pack of expensive cat food. I had a very tiny Gdd1 in the pram, the basket was already full, so I put 2 packs of cat food on the (folded up) pram hood. Got to the checkout, wondered why there was only 1 pack of cat food, could have sworn I’d picked up two. However I had to get back to dd, so paid and left.
It started raining during the 15 minute walk back, so I lowered the hood and was aghast to see the other pack of cat food, that had fallen between the folds. I went cold, thinking what would have happened if I’d been stopped and accused of shoplifting. I doubt they’d ever have believed me.

I meant to go back and pay next day, but was very busy helping dd before a 60 mile drive home, so never did. It was 10 years ago and I still feel bad about it!